What's up, people! Bet you're wondering what the hell yoru doing seeing this update in your box? Well, surprise, surprise, I'm finishing it! Only a few chapters left, so here we go again.
This chapter is a recap of what has happened for most of the story. I did my best to write it so that it wasn't repetitive to those who are new readers, but will help my older readers remember. Sweet, right?
Important: THIS IS NOT BETA'D! I wanted to get this out to you asap, and I had no one to look at it for me, so bear with me. If anyone wants to help me with the last few chapters, please DM me.
This is BPOV. Thanks to everyone that is continuing to read. I hope I make it worth it.
I stood outside the door to Midnight Sun, pacing back and forth, taking a few quick glances inside. I could see Rose sitting at the front desk, but when she came to see what I was doing I told her to go back inside.
I was trying my best to regain the strength that I had somehow found earlier, when I was so fed up with the hole I had buried my life in that I marched over here in attempt to tell James to piss off and leave me alone.
I wanted it to be over, all of it. I wanted the lies I was telling to fade away, so that I could start fresh with whatever life I so chose. Things between Edward and I had gotten so out of control, I felt awful for leaving him in his apartment, but I needed the time away to get my thoughts straight.
Edward had written the letters. It was the only way that he felt he could communicate with me and as much as I wanted to scream for all the questions and stress those letters caused me, I couldn't get past the truth behind the words.
Edward loved me.
I looked up and down the sidewalk, smiling lightly as a few women walked past me. Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I stopped to consider what I was doing. Truthfully, I had made a mess of things, and I wasn't sure that I could find my way out of the trouble I'd brought myself.
Edward very well may not be interested in what I have to say, but I figure I should give it a shot anyways. Taking a deep breath and opening up my phone, I dialed his number.
"Bella?" he answered after the first ring. "I'm so glad you called."
"Hi. Um, I'm sorry I left the way I did. That wasn't fair. I should have stayed."
"No, no, it's fine. Just come back and we can talk about this. Please?"
I nodded my head silently, kicking a rock with my shoe while I chewed on my lip nervously instead of replying.
"Bella?" he asked. "Are you still there?"
"Yes," I said somberly as I took one last look at Midnight Sun before turning and making my way back down the street. "I'll be right there."
It felt like it took forever for the elevator to make it's way up Edwards building to the top floor. My anxiety was palpable, unsure of how things were going to go once I told him the truth about my horrid life.
Finally the bell chimed and the metal panels pulled apart, opening to reveal Edward standing right outside the doors, a somber look in his eyes.
"Hi," I said meekly.
I walked past him into the living room, feeling him move behind me until I reached the couch and sat down. He stood for a moment, awkwardly trying to decide if he would sit, or pace nervously like I knew he wanted. Moving towards the chair across from where I sat, he rested on the edge of the arm.
"I'm glad you came back," he started. "Where did you go?"
I wanted to tell him that I had seen his brother, and that Jasper was hopefully going to save me from my big bad boss and we could be happily ever after, but I figured I should give some background story first.
"Do you remember me mention my friend, Jacob?" I asked.
He nodded silently, his eyes going dark as he remembered that we had been in a relationship.
"Well, a long time ago Jacob and his father had been very close with my family. Charlie and I spent a lot of time in La Push with them. Even before Jacob and I dated, our fathers were best friends."
Edward nodded again, waiting for me to continue.
"As Jacob and I grew up, my dad and Billy grew apart. I wasn't sure if it was because they were both so busy, or because something had happened, but they had pretty much stopped talking all together as Jake and I got more involved. We both thought it was odd, but neither of us had any intention of questioning it."
I paused and looked at Edward, fidgeting with my hands as my growing anxiety ripped through me, knowing that the tough part of the story was about to come.
"One day Jacob called me and told me that he needed to see me right away. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was very upset, so I met him at a beach in between our two houses. I could see he was pacing before I even parked my car in a spot; talking to himself and shaking his head. I asked him what had happened, and it took him a few moments to form a sentence that made sense.
He started mumbling about how he knew something was going on with Billy, how he should have seen it and that it was going to ruin the town. I forced him to focus, look me in the eye and take a deep breath. He complied, before he suddenly blurted out 'My father molests kids."
"What?" Edward said as his eyes widened in shock. "Are you serious?"
I nodded, letting my head fall into my hands in front of me, reliving that entire day as if it had just happened.
"He was so angry, Edward. Understandably so. But there was something else. Something that warned me that there was more to this story than Jacob was letting on. I tread lightly, asking him how he knew and fearful that he was speaking from personal experience. He never did tell me that his father had hurt him, but I knew. I knew it had happened."
Pausing to take a breath, I hadn't even noticed that Edward had moved from the arm of the chair to next to me on the couch, resting a strong hand lightly on my thigh.
"Then what happened?" he asked.
"Then things got bad. He said he was going to kill him, and I knew he meant it. He was so angry, so violent in a way that I had never seen before. We walked to his car and I saw that it was packed full. I pleaded with him to stay and talk to me, but he said he needed to go be with his mother, and that he would call me when he arrived. I was so scared, for him and for me, there was nothing I could do but let him go.
I ran home so quickly, distraught and terrified for Jacob, that when I saw my dad at home I told him everything. I cried and cried as he held me, letting me go on about what Jacob had told me and what he had planned to do about it. I didn't notice for a while that my dad said nothing. When I looked at him, expecting to see him as enraged as Jacob, I was surprised when he only looked sad."
"He already knew?" Edward asked?
"Yes," I answered. "He had known for some time, and was doing his best to build a case against him to get him off the streets."
"Which is why they had stopped being friends," Edward suggested.
I nodded silently. "Then Billy was dead."
"He really killed him?" Edward said in disbelief.
"Yes, he really did. It was awful; both my dad and I felt entirely responsible for Billy's death, even if he was a monster. There was so much pain for both of us, because we hadn't helped Jacob and he felt that he had to do it."
"But it wasn't your fault, Edward said as he stood and got me a glass of water.
"I know, but it didn't make it any easier. Charlie took it harder than me, because he was a cop and he should have done something sooner. It beat him up inside, until one day he couldn't take it any longer."
I stopped because I couldn't force the words out of my mouth. All the pain that had been there so many months and days ago still made my heart ache, and me long for the comfort of my father.
"I'm so sorry, Bella."
A feeling of relief came over me, that it was finally out and I couldn't hide behind that horrible truth any longer. It had wounded me more than I'd admitted, keeping me from a life I wanted and needed.
What had happened with Jacob and Billy and my father had not been my fault, but I had been living this life to protect it, and to protect them all, and that hadn't been fair to me. Had anyone of them known the distance I'd gone to keep their secrets safe, they would have been furious with me.
"I can't believe you've been through all that, Bella. What a horrible thing to experience. I can't even imagine the pain it has brought you. Why haven't you told me this before?"
"I haven't told anyone," turning to face him on the couch. "I was afraid that I would be in trouble if anyone found out, and I was terrified of going to jail."
"That would never happen," Edward assured me, pulling my hands into his. "I would never let that happen."
"You might not, but James would," I said hesitantly.
The one piece of the puzzle I'd left out was James and all he knew. As much as it bewildered me that he had found out so much about me, he knew it all and had used it against me to get what he wanted.
"James? What does he have to do with this?"
"He knows, Edward. That's why I've had to remain working at Midnight Sun. He threatened to tell someone about what had happened, getting me in trouble and tarnishing my fathers name at the same time.
"That's fucking bullshit," Edward scoffed as he stood up, putting his hands on his hips. "He won't do any such thing."
"It's fine, Edward, really. I-"
"It's not fine! How dare he threaten you! I'll have his fucking ass in a second if he gets anywhere near you ever again."
As much as the words he spoke pleased me deep inside, I didn't want him doing anything he was going to regret.
"No, Edward. Please. This has nothing to do with you. I just wanted you to understand what was going on. I've told your brother everything, and he assures me that he can help me. Please," I said, standing to face him. "Don't do anything."
I stood nervously as he thought about all I had said, the range of emotion coming across his face making more nervous by the moment. Suddenly his grimace faded, and he smiled.
"As much as I would love to tear that assholes throat out, it's probably better to leave it to Jasper."
"Thank you," I whispered in relief.
"Besides," he started, moving towards me. "We still haven't finished our conversation from earlier today."
I felt all the blood rush to my cheeks as he approached me, giddy like a school girl about the closeness of our bodies.
"I'm sorry I did what I did, writing you those letters," he said, lifting his hand to trail his fingers down the side of my face. "It wasn't to hurt you. I was just a coward. Forgive me?"
My breath caught in my throat as he brushed my hair off my shoulder, leaning in and placing his mouth in the curve of my neck. My skin bristled as I felt his wet tongue and cool breath trace the skin under my ear.
"Forgive me, Bella?" he asked as he pulled me down to the couch.
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