AN* Fabulous comments! Made my heart swell. Just graduated from high school today! So, as a graduation gift, I give to you a new installment! I hope you guys like it and that more would comment.
Disclaimer: An excuse to say that I want to own you-know-who even if I get stripped of all my possessions, but again, will most probably never get even the slightest chance. LAME.
Damon's been sleeping with Elena for far too long now to worry about her staking him in his sleep. Damon should be more paranoid, he's been sneaked up on with Vervaine, wooden bullets, and an iron rod already but still he has the nerves to be carefree. He convinced himself that Elena was an exception, thinking that his death would be too much of a great loss to her. Like, think about the decades of life ahead of her and the consequence of having absent Damon's great sex abilities. So, when Elena shuffled, woke up, whispered in his ear, he decided that it would be one of those rare instances in his afterlife to spend a quiet, peaceful morning in someone else's bed without worries.
Since Elena is so much more fun now than how she used to be with Stefan, Elena took Damon's phone from the bedside table and decided to skim through it while he was asleep. It didn't occur in Elena's mind that he just might wake up and feel murderous about her disturbing his privacy because, as we all know, Damon was not very keen with privacy. He went into Stefan's room post coital, and he wrote on her diary (and now regularly!)! In fact, Damon has got to be one of the most honest vampires in the world; in one day of pleading, you could squeeze out his 145 year old diabolical plan right out of his own mouth! She then wore last night's unused pajamas and pocketed Damon's phone.
"Hey handsome, I'll be back. Don't move and don't follow me. I don't want Aunt Jenna to know about us yet." She whispered into his ear assuming he'd understand.
It was a busy breakfast for Elena, eating while violating Damon's personal space. Skimming through Damon's phone was easy, reaffirmed that he really wasn't keen with privacy, having no passwords protecting any of his files. Until she saw some mischievous looking recordings that all lasted for quite a while. At first she was scared, what if they were recordings of how he murdered his meals? But Elena bit back the fear and pressed play.
"March 24, 2010
I was eating a chocolate chip cookie, thinking about Elena in comparison to one of the cheesiest books I have ever read, when the devil herself disturbed me. I was okay with that since I wanted to eat her more than the chocolate chip cookie but she can be such an impossible imp. I knew that look, that look that told me it was time to run. The look that said, "What's our status?"
I was scared. Must all good things come to an end?
The most wonderful surprise came when she said, "Stefan's really pissed with us."
I just shugged, and again, surprise! Surprise! And for once, I'm not being sarcastic when I said surprise! She let it go! Most of the time she's like to talk about her "feelings" and blabber for ours about that kind of shit. But for once, she just, enjoyed the silence! Amazing. Then again, she still bothered me—the thought of her I mean.
You see, it got me thinking, is Elena just another Bella? An empty shell to project all the tweeners fantasies into so that they could live out their very own vampire fantasy with a "vegan" vampire that shines a mile more than Adam Lambert can ever. Reminds me, I just can't get over Caroline asking me why I didn't sparkle. You know what else sparkles other than Tinkerbell and Edward? Disco Balls! I am not a disco ball, I dance to disco balls.
I hate to admit it, but Elena really got me when she wrote that all I ever wanted to do was dance. Dancing is a great distraction from the boredom of eternity, so yes, I do enjoy it, and have, in fact, taken dance lessons all around the globe. I would definitely rot in eternal embarrassment if somebody heard this. I have killer samba moves Samba is really more complicated than what people think, in fact, I think I'm closest to humanity (metaphorically) when I'm dancing Samba because the emotions are so intense. That is so gay, but I'm still incredibly hot and cool, right? Maybe Bonnie's a psychic witch, but Elena's just plain psychic? Birds of the same feather do flock together. Or maybe Elena is a mind reader, you know, like that Sookie Stackhouse girl. That would make Elena much more interesting than just being the has-been golden girl of high school.
It really bothers me, because I just noticed this trend with vampire fiction that the good guy always has to win. It is so unrealistic, because I am clearly winning this game with a touch down.
I think Stefan is making a mistake for the long run. You see, why choose to be a squirrel hater!? Doesn't he know that it's more eco-friendly to kill off vermin his own size, aka human?
I am so digressing.
Anyway, Elena and I just had great sex in her room last night. It was phenomenal. I think Stefan's never made her come which is why Elena came like, so many times, seven. Oooh, don't tell her I counted. I'm going to use it as leverage one day. Hahahaha. Amazing stamina, that girl. I was quite impressed. Good thing vampires never need Viagra.
I think us vampires are like the female's perfect fantasy. Domineering, sexy, seductive, secretive, and dangerous plus we won't ever get anyone pregnant or give anyone an STD. We are safely raw, which is why we are so free to be promiscuous.
I think Stefan and Elena's high school aura is rubbing off on me; I'm talking about things I've already known for the past hundred years about vampires.
I'm thinking of a new way to bait Elena.
Maybe I'll fake a diary.
Ok, signing out, Damonic possession."
That irritated her. Bella? She doesn't even want to talk about it.
Seven. Hmmm…. Did she really? She started counting in her head, and damn. He was right. It wasn't like that in the past. In fact, there were times with other men that she didn't even reach the happy place. He was just so good in multitasking. It wasn't just about what he did with his hands and his elephant, it also concerned on how he made her feel. Damon talked during sex, he complimented her and it was very arousing. In everything he did, he made her feel beautiful, and as much as she hates to admit it, cared for—loved. Anyway, samba means awesome hip movement and since he was a vampire, so of course, he had great stamina. Was he built to have great sex? Is that the evolutionary road that vampires are taking?
But there were serious matter at hand; he had been lying to her! She was definitely going to force him to record what she's written for him, it was simply unfair! She had his writings on her journal, permanently etched!
But before she stormed into her own room to find him still snoozing in her bed, she moved on to the next recording. Also, she would hate to admit it, but he had a sexy recording voice.
"March 25, 2010
I am glad to say that Elena is officially just as multifaceted as yours truly, having shown a bit of an inkling of an evil side last night by using deceptive, manipulative tactics to juice out my state of pussy whip.
Somewhere along the lines of being in a sexual relationship with Elena, I decided against better judgment to put her under my tutelage for awesomeness and all things in between. I've always noted Elena's need to be trained to be more evil, she already was (I am the physical manifestation of her evil deeds) and thus, I, the almighty, badass, serpent, monster in your closet, Damon Salvatore, felt compelled (which is very strange) to put her under my charcoal black wings.
There are still so many adventures, positions, and situations that I haven't tried with dear, dear Elena, and I'm finding myself excited with just the thought of it—not that I'm using her as a lab rat because I already did that thrice with some other chicks. Also, I don't need to detail on my sexual escapades with Elena since I don't need to just so I won't forget, simply because the memories are too strong—too vivaciously mind blowing that it is un-vampire to forget.
I'm not going to go Emerson like my silly, oaf of a squirrel-eating brother, and flower this with adjectives on how soft, delicate and captivating Elena is because in the first place she's not as innocent as my baby brother thinks her to be.
You see, that's what I found out about Mr Lame when I was Reading his diary; Elena being a pure, angelic, delicate damsel in distress with outstretched arms. Stefan's really missed out on the real Elena with his brooding and sulking—Elena who is such a crazy, torrid, spirited, dirty little thing who wasn't delicate but delectable. Oh yes, I am more than willing to show her the ropes on all the things that my clueless brother had not shown her, in more ways than you can arrange the English alphabet.
Reminds me, Katherine (ugh, that, bitch) was evil, theoretically more evil than me, and for once, I'm grateful that Elena's not as evil.
Why must I ruin the moment by being like a historical hysterical wife?
Stefan's been sending her the most clichéd love letters, but hey, look at me, I'm writing on her diary on how much I want to jump her bones just so I can screw her to kingdom COME, pun intended, which is unfair since I only came five times the last time(oh, it pays to be a vampire).
I thought she had Stefan by the balls, damn it, but I bet she never called Stefan her bitch. The imp named Elena is seriously putting my badass-ness in peril with her sexiness and joie de vivre.
She needed Stefan to sulk with her back then, but now, with the sulking over, she needs me—someone to live with if you mean "awesome, mind blowing sex" by the word "live".
Oh, look at the time! I guess I have to cut short on you, today. Got a hot date with Elena.
Signing out, Elena's brand new boy toy."
Elena instantly forgave Damon of all his shittiness just because of his parting words… Then again, punishments are inevitable; he still had to record what she wrote even if that meant depravation for both of them for a week…day? Anyway, a lot of what he said was true about not needing Stefan anymore because she had, by realization that she was starting to over dramatize her life, moved on.
So Elena headed back to her room after having breakfast and had a new discovery while Damon was doing as she said, recorded everything she had written during the course of their "diary entry exchanges".
"Elena is so great in bed that even my hundred years of practice puts me to shame, me, Damon Salvatore, Mystic Fall's most eligible man and closet devotee of Samba dancing. After some quiet time in my own little dark happy place, I've realized that Armani was definitely worth it and even quite a small price to pay. We can wreck a Mercedes Benz and it would be worth it for all I know. I can be Elena's sex slave if she wanted.
Si— umph," Damon was silenced by a pair of lips and hands roaming in various erogenous parts thanks to Elena's spiking libido at the poetic words that spilled out of Damon's luscious pink lips.
They never got to end of the recordings; he was being so cooperative and gorgeous which made them cut short the recordings with umph, ahh, hmmm, eeek, ohh, ooh, ugh, and other inaudible, either guttural or high pitched sounds. The only real end they were getting was at the edge of the bed when Damon did something really naughty at a precarious position. He really was irresistible and she wasn't an exception. They did it like they did on discovery channel for heck's sake. There you go, her discovery: she was just as whipped as him.
AN*Comments are more than welcome, and highly appreciated. Don't be shy. I'd be happy even with "Nice!" Come on, as a graduation gift?