Prologue: Split Down The Middle
Disclaimer: These beautiful creations are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with them for a bit.
"These are the days that are split down the middle
No words to calm me down
Be sure that what you dream of
Won't come to hunt you out
Where is my head
Where are my bones
Why are my days so far from home?"
- Head Full of Ghosts, Bush
How did we get here?
For the life of me I couldn't reason out what happened or what I wanted or even what I should want.
Just a few scant weeks ago my life had finally made sense again. I was impressively happy. I had an incredible boyfriend who adored me and amazed me. I had friends who I didn't have to lie to. I had a job that made me happy and a stable future.
Then it had all fallen spectacularly to pieces.
Because the love of my life, the man I thought I had lost forever, had appeared out of no where.
People always said that hindsight was 20/20, but in this case I was just as blind now as I had ever been. There was no defining moment when I could have taken the right path and avoided the situation I now found myself in; avoided the pain I'd already caused one good man and the inevitable torment I would cause another.
The love of my life - he was a dream. He was fleeting moments of perfect memories. Sunshine, laughter and this profound feeling that the world that I'd woken up to was not the same one in which I existed now. When I met him, he'd painted my world vivid colors that I'd had no names for – intense in their beauty.
If I could re-write history I could give him my heart without hesitation – give him all of me free and clear the moment I literally stumbled across him. Even less dramatically, all it would have taken to change my entire life was my own name. If I had just said my name, not held back, none of this would have happened.
But there was the rub. I loved my life - the person I'd become and the people I had met. I owed all of it to that one day. It was too much to trade - too many people I would not have come to know that I would lose.
It was bittersweet irony that, if not for the one day I spent with the love of my life, I would not have met the man I had ultimately given my heart to.
How would I knowingly give up my sweet boyfriend? He was charming, beautiful, intelligent, talented and mine. I felt peace when he wrapped me in his arms. I saw the future in his eyes – experiences, hard times and good times, and children with a combination of our features - all of it with him at my side.
It was impossible to want wish that all away.
I was too selfish. I wanted them both in my life. Even if I could have, I wouldn't have gone back to the point I should have.
Because what I should have wished for was that I hadn't met either of them – hadn't put us all in this position.
I comforted myself in the fact that it was impossible. Fate was a harpy bitch and I would have been faced with this situation eventually anyway.
Here we were. The two most important men in my life faced each other with rage in their eyes and clenched fists. They were seconds away from complete chaos. One of them was oblivious – unaware of exactly what was at stake and that he was about to have an F5 tornado literally dropped on his head. The other had been tortured steadily, like me, over the last few weeks as we tried to reconcile fantasy with reality.
This was ripping us all apart. They shouldn't be enemies. They weren't enemies. If any one was to be held responsible for their anger it should have been me. I was the reason that these two men were ready to tear into each other. I wasn't worth it. My God, I knew that, but I couldn't figure out what I wanted to happen or even what the right thing to do was.
I was caught between my peace and my lost half – between two men who were too good for me and two futures that were vibrant in two completely different ways. I had no idea what to want, or if I'd even get a choice. Once this was done I would most likely end up with neither.
I honestly deserved nothing less than the devastation of losing them both.
Because it seemed like the only thing I could do, I stepped between them, forcing them away from each other physically. When this storm broke it was going to destroy us all and the least I owed them was to try to keep their bodies in tact.
A/N: You want to know who the players are? The banner is in my profile. Tell me what you think.
I am so excited for this fic I can't even take it.
Dedicated to JadedAndBoring, CellaCullen, Dizzygrl28 and Tellingmelies, all of whom you should be reading if you're not. You will find them linked under my favorite authors. They each inspired separate parts of this plot.
So...early speculation? Comments? Thoughts? I want them. Please? Don't make me beg.