Disclaimer: I do not claim to own anything in this fan fiction. They belong to their respected owners. If you think I do own this, then I will have to shoot you in the ass with an arrow :]
Pairing: Xion x Axel
Warning: Characters will be mildly out of character; slightly AU — due to the fact no one forgets about Xion.
Summary: Xion is dead and Axel — who had 'feelings' for Xion — is left behind. This is his journey to acceptance.
Weeks went by from that night, weeks of tears and pain — of darkened thoughts as well. Many thoughts of finding a way to join Xion, or even bring her back, entered the flamer's head. He had debated ending it all, just to be able to see her again, but he couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough to actually end it all, he just continued to debate it.
After a week or so, the dark thoughts and pain disappeared, a numbness took over. A feeling that he remembered before Xion and Roxas, when he had first began a Nobody. But the numbness didn't stop the sobs and tears from burning his eyes, sliding down his pale cheeks. He was a mess — there was no doubting it.
Though through it all, he wasn't alone. He may have felt that way but the truth was that there was always someone there for him. Even if he didn't go on missions or leave his room, mostly sleeping for long periods of time, he wasn't alone in his own mess and depression. He had someone with him at all times, and it had been someone he thought meant nothing to him any longer. Saïx, the lunar diviner — Xemnas's second in command.
Saïx stayed with him when he could, though he still had to give out missions. When he had to leave, he would merely leave a dusk to keep an eye on his slumbering friend. Though when he was there, he would stay against the wall that held memories of his beating still — dried blood on metal-like surface. His eyes always on the red head, almost like if he were look away, Axel would disappear.
But after almost two months of living like that, Saïx left a dusk to watch over what he thought was a sleeping Axel. He glanced at the red head before inhaling sharply, turning to the door and leaving without a farewell. What was the point? Axel was asleep and would probably stay like that until Saïx returned with food. It was how things happened now, and though Saïx was annoyed, he merely lived with it.
Though what he didn't know when he closed that door that the Nobody laying in the bed was far from slumber. The red head wanted it that, because he knew damn well that if Saïx knew he was awake he wouldn't have left. Axel wanted time alone, but until now the only time he was alone — he was sleeping. Axel wanted to think and he couldn't do that sleeping, or with Saïx resting against the wall.
He waited a few moments after Saïx's left to push himself up, sitting on his bed with eyes staring ahead. He observed the simple dusk moving about the room, how it's body moved oddly and weird whooshing noise echoed with each movement. The things had always annoyed Axel, possibly slightly creeping him out — so he chose to move his gaze from the creature.
His emerald eyes moved to the heart shaped moon in the sky, watching it's eerie yellow glow. It had been months ago since he begged it to give him back Xion. It didn't listen, it didn't obey — he cursed at it for weeks. He remembered how Saïx would stare up at the moon, his eyes holding an odd apologetic look; he wasn't sure who it was for, him or the moon. He never asked either, even if he wanted to him.
Shaking the memories from his head, he slumped against the headboard of his bed. His eyes remained on the moon, listening to the whooshing noise of the dusk that moved about the room. His chest ached every moment he stared up; he had remember a moment similar to this with Xion. They sat on his bed, his arms around her as they stared up at it and spoke calmly about getting hearts.
He felt it, his eyes beginning to burn once more — he had thought for sure he had cried every liquid in his body. He felt a tear escape him, his hand reaching up and wiping it away before wiping his eyes. His vision clearing slightly, giving him a better look at the moon above. He dropped his hand and closed his eyes —wetting his lips with his tongue.
"Hey… it's me again, Kingdom Hearts. I know, I should apologize for everything I said before, but I'm not gonna do it. I'm sure that Saïx apologized for him, the way he stares up at you like that." He forced a smirk before continuing, "But I'm not talking to you for that, ya know? I just… want to know what I should do now? Without Xion, I just don't know what to do."
"She and I actually made plans one night under you, you probably heard them. But… now she's gone and… we can't do those plans we made. We can't get hearts together, we can't become whole together — we're not going to live life together." He muttered darkly, "Why? Why is she gone? Why did she have to die? What am… I going to do now? If you're all knowing, you have to tell me what to do!"
"What the hell do I do now?!" He snapped his eyes open and glared up at the yellow heart, "Should I join her?! Could you make that happen?! What do you want from me?! What will it take to make it all go away?! Or make her come back to me damnit! I just don't get it! I don't get it all! Why did this have to happen huh?!"
"Axel," a voice whispered, "Stop."
He felt it, he could almost feel that familiar beating in his chest. He could no longer hear the whooshing noise of the dusk. His eyes snapped over to where the voice came from; his eyes burnt again at the sight. There she stood; her short black hair hung gracefully over her pale forehead, her bright blue eyes stared out at him — her smile gently on her features.
She smiled, "Yes?"
"They… said you were dead!" His eyes widened as he moved to the foot of the bed, reaching out to her. "But you're — you're here!"
He blinked. "What?"
"I'm back where I truly belong, Axel." She whispered, "I just came — to say goodbye, and a few other things. I need to —"
"You are gone…" He frowned, "Can I go with you?"
"Not yet," She smiled softly. "Now how about you be quiet and listen for once in your life. If you would have maybe you wouldn't be cursing at Kingdom Hearts like a fool."
He closed his mouth, smiling for reasons unknown to him. He stared at her, he almost wanted to reach out and touch her — but he wasn't sure if he could. So he sat at the foot of his bed and stared at the girl, motioning with his head for her to continue. He watched as she smiled and folded her hands together in front of her.
"I don't have much time, Axel, but it's time for me to say a few things. I love you, but I can't be here anymore. You have to stay here for a bit longer, but we may never meet like this again — I'm not sure really. But you have to… keep holding on and moving on, just like Saïx told you to."
"Yes he did, for the past weeks he has. But never when you were — awake." She confessed softly, "You were his best friend, his memories tell him to comfort you and try to protect you, like the brotherly figure he was to you. But he — he's confused. You must stay with him for a little while, but you must also walk your own path as well. Do you understand?"
"No, I—" He paused as he noticed her start to fade away, "NO! Xion, please!"
"I'm sorry, Axel." She smiled at him, "But it'll all make sense soon, I promise. Just — move on."
"Xi—AH!" He reached out for her, his hand moving through her as she disappeared. He lost his balance and fell forward, off the bed and into a heap on the floor. "… Xion…"
He sat there for quite some time, he wasn't even sure how long. He just thought about everything that had just happened — those words were something he never wanted to hear from her. But yet he knew — a part of him just knew — that she was right. He couldn't linger here like this anymore, he had to move on, but he had to also follow his own path.
He sat there in his own thoughts for a long while, he only knew this because of a familiar swirling sound and how quickly it disappeared. He wasn't alone in the room anymore, he could hear the footsteps of his old friend coming closer. Though much to his surprise, they sounded rushed and panicked as they moved along and over to him.
His emerald eyes met yellow ones, a hand gripping each shoulder and pushed back. He stared into the scarred — and extremely tired — face above him. He knew it was Saïx, he knew before he seen the eyes that belonged to his comrade. But that wasn't what got him, it was the look of concern on his face for the red head.
"Hey Saïx," He greeted with a smirk. The smirk wasn't forced, which was the first thing that he noticed. "How have you been?"
"Any missions for me man?" Axel grinned up at the expression on Saïx's face, "Cause it's pretty boring in here all day."
"I — no missions for you, Axel."
Axel raised a brow, "And why not? I should be behind!"
"Because," Saïx paused — unsure if he should tell Axel that he had been doing his missions for him. "There hasn't been much to do."
"Damn," Axel glanced up at the ceiling. "Now what am I gonna do?"
"Axel, are yo—"
"Saïx," Axel broke in with a serious look on his face. "I'm sorry."
Saïx looked puzzled, "What?"
"I'm sorry — S-O-R-R-Y — got it memorized?" Axel smirked a bit, "I thought you were smart, Saïx."
He frowned, "What's going on here…?"
"I've been thinking about what you said," Axel answered and stood up, Saïx following suit. "I think it is time to move on. Xion wouldn't want me to act like this."
"How'd you—" Saïx stopped, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Though he didn't let the smirk show, he knew Axel seen the corners of his lips twitching. "You know, I'm sure Demyx would want some help with his mission."
"Damn straight," Axel grinned and watched Saïx open a portal for him. "Thanks Saïx."
"See ya soon," He chuckled a bit while stepping to the portal. He stopped not far from it and turned his gaze to the exhausted looking azure haired Nobody. "Get some rest while I'm gone."
Saïx glanced over at his friend, a puzzled look on his face. "Hmm?"
"You look like shit, Isa." Axel pointed out with a grin.
"… fine." Saïx smirked a bit, "Behave, Lea."
Saïx watched his friend disappear through the portal, it soon disappearing as well. His yellow eyes moved to Kingdom Hearts for a moment, hearing a light — familiar — giggle echo through the air. He moved to the window and crossed his arms, staring up at Kingdom Hearts for a moment or two. A smile took over his normally blank or sarcastic expression.
"Thank you, Kingdom Hearts — Xion…"
A/N: The last chapter. :] Enjoy!