Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.

Rating: M

Summary: "Is that a promise?" he all but purred, his grey eyes freezing Harry in place. Harry stuttered, "A t-threat."

WARNING: AU (Yes, I KNOW there are two prophesies), slash, language, sex with a minor, and an absolutely horrible word play.

Double Entendre

"Just give me the prophesies, Potter."

Harry clutched the smooth balls in his hands, and backed away slowly. "I'm not stupid, Lord Malfoy. I know you'll just kill my friends as soon as I give them to you."

Lucius Malfoy stalked toward him, and Harry stumbled backwards until he felt his back hit a rattling glass wall.

Harry quickly thrust his hands outward and warned, "If you come any closer, I'll drop them, I swear!"

Lord Malfoy halted lazily about a metre away from him. "Is that a promise?" he all but purred, his grey eyes freezing Harry in place.

Harry stuttered, "A t-threat."

A predatory grin appeared on Malfoy's face. He took a few steps forward, and breathed into Harry's ear, "Well then, feel free to threaten me at will."

Soft lips closed over Harry's neck, and he shuddered so violently that the prophesies fell into Malfoy's conveniently placed hands. Malfoy quickly placed the weights in a pouch at his side, and got back to pinning Harry against the wall. Warm hands wrapped themselves around Harry's waist, and smooth thumbs gently rubbed at the gap between his shirt and trousers.

Looking straight at Harry, Malfoy whispered, "Are you going to fulfill what you threatened, or will I have to?"

Swimming in lustful grey eyes, Harry muttered distractedly, "I thought I already gave you the prophesies."

Malfoy made a tsk-ing noise and gave a mock-frown. "That was nice of you, Potter, but it wasn't what you promised me."

Harry blinked confusedly, and a shark-like smile spread across Malfoy's face. "I believe your exact words were, 'I'll drop them.'"

Harry's foggy mind cleared more rapidly than Ron with a plate of bacon. He shook his head and cried frantically, "No! That's not– I didn't mean it like that!"

Malfoy tutted lightly, and replied, "Then you should word your threats more precisely next time."

Silken thumbs, which had been soothingly touching Harry's skin, now hooked onto his waistline, and swiftly pulled down his trousers and pants in one go.

Before Harry could even react to that, Malfoy was leisurely stroking his member with one hand and palming his buttocks with the other.

Harry cried out, "What– what are you doing?"

A silvery-blond eyebrow quirked amusedly. "Wanking you, Potter. What does it look like?"

Harry glanced down, and immediately upwards again. The image of his cock passing through Malfoy's perfect grip made him almost lose control.

"But why?" he gasped.

Malfoy leaned in to nip at Harry's ear, and uttered lowly, "Do you have any idea how completely fuckable you look at all times, Potter? You have this damned adorable blush whenever I look at you, your eyes glaze over, and your tongue flicks out to whet at your lips, and I just need to–"

Harry tilted his face upwards, kissed Malfoy, and came.


A Year Later…

Harry Levitated the two Death Eaters above the precipice, and shouted to Voldemort, "I'll drop them!"

Warm arms encircled his waist, and Lucius murmured in his ear, "Not in such a public place, Potter. Wait until we get back to the Manor."

Harry turned around and wrapped his arms around Lucius' neck, uncaring of the gaping Order. He smiled, and said, "I thought we were going to wait for this announcement."

Lucius grasped him tighter, and replied, "I know, love. You just reminded me of the first time we were together, though, and I couldn't help but pull you into my reminiscing."

Harry gasped, and flung his leg around Lucius' waist. Lord Malfoy turned to a rather bemused Voldemort, and said, "Forgive me, my Lord, but the Final Battle will have to be delayed. Time waits for no randy teenager, and all that."

Muffled by Lucius' neck, Harry said, "To hell with the Final Battle. The Dark can win for all I care. All I know is I better be in a bed with you under me in less than five minutes."

Lucius growled, and they Apparated. The Death Eaters and the Order stood around for several minutes, bewildered.

Rabastan Lestrange finally cheered questioningly, "We won! I think…"

The matriarch of the Weasley clan screeched, "Harry's dating Lucius Malfoy?"

Draco Malfoy sniffed at her, "At least Potter's got good taste."

And indeed he did.


A/N: A little awkward, a little cracky, a little hot, yeah? ^-^

What is the second prophesy, you ask? I believe it goes a little something like this:

"And yea, the Lord of the Malfoy line would align with the scion of the Noble and Ancient House of Potter under the third moon of Venus, and lo, there would be great steamy slashy sex throughout the land, and they would live in peace and sexiness for the rest of their lives…"