The Doctor gently knocked on Rose's bedroom door in the TARDIS before pausing to listen for a reply. Nothing came back. It was 11:30am and she still wasn't up. It wasn't like her at all.

"Rose?" he tried again. "Rose? You in there?" Silence. "I'm coming in, okay?"

He eased open the door quietly into the darkness that was Rose's room. He could see the outline of a figure lying under the covers, blonde hair scattered onto the pillow.

"Rose?" he called for the fourth time. "Are you awake?"

There was a small moaning noise from the bed. The Doctor was alert instantly, slipping through the door as the TARDIS lights came up slightly. He jogged over to her, kneeling down to the bed's height.

"Are you okay?" he asked the mess of blonde hair. She groaned in reply. He slowly pulled back the cover, revealing Rose's teary brown eyes staring back at him underneath a mess of blonde hair.

He straightened instantly. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel well," Rose murmured. He nodded, smiling reassuringly.

"Trust me, I'm a Doctor," he said, and she smiled slightly before moaning in pain, curling up under the duvet.

He looked concerned. "Stomach ache?" he asked, then stopped as he realised. "Umm... woman pains?"

She shook her head at the latter. "My stomach hurts and I wanna throw up."

"You've probably just caught a passing bug," the Doctor said, talking more to himself as he rested his hand on her forehead. "You're not feverish."

She didn't reply, curled up and moaning. He took a decision.

"C'mon," he said, slipping his arms beneath her and lifting her up out of bed still wrapped in the duvet. "I'll take you to the Infirmary, check you over, okay?"

"No," Rose murmured. "I want my Mum."

The Doctor paused for a moment, marvelling at human's instant reaction to needing their parent when they were ill. "Okay, I'll take you there."

The Doctor rang Jackie's doorbell, with slight difficulty as he was still holding Rose in both arms – she was too dizzy to stand upright. He was slightly dreading confronting Jackie with a near unconscious Rose in his arms, but if a sick Rose wanted her mother he was all too happy to oblige.

The Door swung inward to reveal Jackie, whose eyes widened at the sight of her only daughter lying in the Doctor's arms, moaning.

"What the hell have you done to my daughter?" she demanded, hands on hips.

"She woke up feeling ill," the Doctor said quickly before he got a slap, trying to shield Rose from the relentless April rain. "She wanted to see you."

"Oh, well come in, then!" she said beckoning him through the door. He entered sideways, trying not to knock Rose on the doorframe. "What is this? Some kinda alien disease?"

The Doctor could only shrug. "If it gets any worse I'll scan, but we haven't been anywhere she could've picked anything bad up."

"Likely story," Jackie muttered, unconvinced as she crossed into the kitchen. The Doctor rolled his eyes, settign Rose down on the sofa carefully and pulling down the blanket slung over to back of the sofa to drape over her.

"Get some rest, okay?" he said gently as she stared up at him with teary brown eyes. "I'll be in the TARDIS."

"No," she murmured quickly, holding his arm to prevent him from getting up. "Stay with me."

The Doctor paused, considering. "Okay. But you owe me one," he said with a grin.

"Oh love, get this down you," Jackie said as she re-entered from the kitchen, setting a cup of tea down on the side. "What's wrong?"

"Her stomach hurts and she wants to throw up," the Doctor answered for her, "and she's dizzy."

Jackie frowned. "Tiredness?" she asked.

"Guess so," the Doctor replied, shrugging.

"Rose, do you have backache?"

Rose nodded. The realisation on Jackie's face was apparent. "What is it?" he asked.

"Oh, I think I know exactly what it is!" Jackie said with an edge of steel to her voice, taking Rose by the wrist and pulling her off of the sofa towards the bathroom, leaving the Doctor standing in the middle of the living room, plainly confused.

Ten minutes later Rose and Jackie emerged, Rose looking as though she was about to break down and cry as Jackie marched straight up to the Doctor, her expression one of pure thunder and utter malice…

"YOU BASTARD!" she screamed, and delivered a well-placed strong-handed slap right across his cheek with a loud, crack!

"What?!" the Doctor burst out, surprised as his hand flew to his wounded cheek, feeling a bruise come up.

Jackie didn't seem to remember how to breathe, now. "What?!" she repeated, "WHAT?! You tell me, Doctor! You tell me!!!"

The Doctor couldn't be more lost. "I don't know!"

"I knew you were nothin' more than a filthy pervert alien CREEP, Doctor! Is this what you do for fun? You are one filthy bastard!"

"Jackie!" The Doctor threw his arms up in the air, waving them frantically. "Calm down!"

"This is what you do, isn't it? You lure unsuspecting young women to your spaceship, promise them to whole of time and space, then you… then you… drug them and rape them!"

The Doctor's eyes widened to an impossible size. "Wait, wait, rape? What?!" Jackie moved forward as if to disembowel him. "Wait a minute!" He waved his arms again, backing away into the corner of the room, hitting the wall. "Timeout! Timeout, Jackie! I swear, I swear I have never, and never will rape Rose!"

"How do you explain that she's pregnant, Doctor?!"

"She's what?!"

"I should call the police RIGHT now, Doctor! And don't think I'm letting you leave this flat!" She reached over to the phone, visibly dialling 999.

"Rose!" the Doctor turned to the girl stood next to the bathroom door, staring at the floor. "Please…"

"Don't you dare talk to her!" Jackie shrieked, her voice high enough to blow out the windows. "You've done enough damage!"

"I didn't do it!" the Doctor protested, both his hearts racing as though he'd just run a marathon. "Please, Jackie, you have to believe me!"

Jackie paused for a moment, staring at him in consideration. The Doctor managed to level out his breathing, holding his hands in front of him to signify surrender.

"Jackie, please, please listen to me, please trust me," he almost whispered, desperate for her to see sense. "I would never do that to Rose. Please. Don't call the police. I'll sort this out."

Jackie's eyes shot over to the Kitchen doorway. "Yes. You're right." She hung up, and then suddenly turned and ran into the Kitchen. There came the distinct sound of cupboards opening and closing before she suddenly emerged once more, a kitchen knife clutched in her hand with a crazy fire dancing in her eyes. The Doctor paled dramatically.

"No, no, Jackie, wait, no…" the Doctor pleaded, backing up against the wall as Jackie menacingly advanced… "Calm down!"

Jackie screamed with rage as she got closer and closer…

"NO!" the Doctor yelled, almost in tears. "JACKIE! NO!"

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Jackie screamed, raising the knife in both hands, drawing back to stab him…

"NO!!!" the Doctor wailed. "ROOOOOSE!"

Suddenly, Rose burst out laughing from the side of the room, and Jackie stopped, turning to her daughter.

"I'm sorry!" Rose gasped through the laughter. "I can't do this!"

"Oh Rose, you blew it!" Jackie said, laughing along with her.

The Doctor blinked "Wha… what?"

"Your face!" Rose said, doubling over with laughter.

"What the hell is going on?!"

"APRIL FOOL!" they both yelled.