Though I'm a big fan of the KH games, I still wish I could've re-written some scenes or explained others. Well, this series of scenes is done only to be humorous and I mean no harm to the game's creators and own no one. If you'd like to review by all means that's fine or just read for hopefully a laugh or two.
KH2 'Deleted' Scenes
Rai: I don't know who you are but-
Sora: Oh that's okay, my talking cricket knows all about you. See it's all written in this little journal. Your full name is Raijin, you end every sentence with 'y'know,' you're part of the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee, you…
Rai: Talking cricket? Seifer, this kid's giving me the creeps, y'know?
Sora: …you're from someplace called Final Fantasy V-I-I-I…
Seifer: I see what you mean, Rai.
Seifer: Sounds good to me, let's split.
Sora: …your name is based on…Hey, where'd everybody go?
Demyx (reading off small card): "If the subject fails to respond use aggression to liberate his true disposition." Man did they pick the wrong guy for this.
Sora: You're bizarre.
Demyx: Oh yeah, well you're short.
Sora: Oh you're going down now mullet head!
King Triton: We may need your help after all. You see, I'm afraid Ariel's still infatuated with the human world. A busy rehearsal schedule might be just what she needs to stop thinking about life up on the surface.
(Sora just nods and waits for Triton for leave)
(once Triton is gone)…Sora: He does realize I'm not usually dolphin-boy, right?
Donald: Well, how many textbooks did you read with a ductopus in them?
Goofy: Or a sea-dortle…uh, sea-dog…sea-dog-turtle?
Sora: Whatever, at least if I pick up some dance moves I know I'll beat Riku at the next limbo competition back on the Islands.
Sora: Hey, maybe we can take a pirate ship out for a spin!
….. (Twenty minutes later after 'commandeering' aforementioned pirate ship)
Donald, Goofy, & Sora (singing): Ninety-eight kegs of rum on the ship, ninety-eight kegs of rum
Sora: take one out…
Donald: drink it down…
Goofy: Ninety-seven kegs of rum on the ship
Sora: Hey guys, am I too young to be drinking this stuff?
Goofy:…well uh, maybe but
Donald: After everything you've been through, you deserve a drink.
Sora: uh…thanks? (the trio then resumes their drunken song)
Sora: Man, things must be really quiet with Genie gone.
Aladdin: Yeah, that's why I come here. The action-the people. There's always something' going on.
(Sora, Donald, and Goofy look around the empty streets of Agrabah)
Sora (in a hushed voice to Donald and Goofy): You guys see anybody?
(both shake their heads)
Donald: He's worse than Princess Jasmine thought.
Goofy: Yep, hallucinatin' people is a sign of a much more serious issue.
Sora: And I thought I had issues.
Axel: Every Heartless slain with that Keyblade releases a captive heart. That is what the Organization is…hey, you ever wondered why so many of us wear gloves?
Sora: Where did that come from?
Axel: Don't know guess I just realized how many of us wear gloves. I mean you, the dog thing over there, me, your mouse buddy, the rest of the Organization. It is a long list, Hero.
Saix (from somewhere off-screen): Axel!
Axel: Oh, gotta go!
Sora: Hey, wait a sec!
Saix: Don't worry he will receive the maximum-
Sora: Dude, I don't care, he just started rambling about gloves, why am I supposed to care? Wait a sec, is he the one who kidnapped Kairi?
(Saix nods) Sora: Why that b-
Donald & Goofy: Sora!
Sora: stupid Disney rule.
Sora: What do you guys really want?
Xaldin:…Kingdom Hearts. (pushes his hood down to reveal his face)
Sora: It's Wolverine…with braids! How'd you get here Wolverine?
(Xaldin seems offended and promptly pulls his hood back up)
Xaldin: And we all thought Roxas was slow?
Auron's voice echoes from above: Where is the sense in all this?...Your deaths will mean nothing!…You must live!
Sora: Well, that was creepy.
Goofy: Yep, I got a chill down my spine.
Donald: That was some sort of electrical shock, not a chill.
Sora: Hey guys, if I ever got turned into a creepy-Hades-voo-doo doll, what'd you think the people who got electrocuted by it would hear?
(The trio ponders this for several minutes before Sora snaps his fingers)
Sora: I got it (as an echoed voice, for absolutely no reason whatsoever): My friends are my power!...We have to save Riku and the King!...Riku! Kairi!...Have you seen Riku or the King?...You're a…girl?!...Got it memorized? Oh wait, that's not my line…Shut up! Wait that's not it either…screw it I'm done.
Shortly after the 'Battle of 1000 Heartless,' Sora decides to check on his friends at Hollow Bastion.
Tifa (to Aerith): So you're sure you haven't seen him lately?
Aerith: Nope, just that one time for about three minutes, but that was before you saw him.
Tifa: And you're sure he's not with Leon?
Aerith: Leon won't answer his phone and usually by the time I get to Ansem's study, he's gone, so I don't know.
(Elsewhere) Sora: So, tell me again why you and Cloud are hiding out over here?
Cloud (from the next room): We're not hiding!
Leon: Aerith wanted to talk about feelings again, so I told her I had to check on something with Tron.
Sora: She didn't believe you, did she?
Leon: Well, no, but at least I'm not playing hide-and-seek with a girl I have a crush on.
Cloud (now in the computer room as well): I told you, it's complicated.
Leon: You like her, she likes you, and she's currently on the hunt for you. How is that complicated?
Sora: Well, actually she and Aerith were in the square earlier.
Leon: You know what, I would continue pacing the broken study; it's safer at this point.
Sora: How is walking in a room with broken glass covering the floor safer than talking to a girl?
(Both Cloud and Leon glare at Sora) Sora:…right, I'll just go now.
Roxas: Tell me, tell me why he picked you?
Sora: Who? Did this person have munny? Did I win something? Can they tell me why I woke up in a giant egg thing in a red-onesie? Dude, you gotta give me better hints than just he. Do you realize how many 'he's I've met in the past year?
Roxas: Uh, right…I have no idea actually, it just sounded all cryptic and we're supposed to be cryptic so…yeah.
Sora: Kairi, you have changed but I-
Kairi: That's what you say to the girl you haven't seen in a year? Okay first I pass out after walking home from school and talk with some random dude in my head. Then a red-haired guy shows up at the island and I followed some random dog into a giant black hole to escape him. I get kidnapped by the red-haired guy in another town, lose red-haired guy to get kidnapped by blue-haired guy, and get rescued by a random blonde chick. Then I find out Riku's in the body of a pedophile!
(Sora looks confusedly behind Kairi to 'Ansem, Seeker of Darkness')
Sora: That's Riku?
Kairi: Yeah, messed up world isn't it?!
(Sora nods before holding out his arms for a hug)
Kairi: Fine, I forgive you.
(As the two teens hug, a devilish grin begins to grow on Sora's face, visible only to Riku)
Sora: You really have changed, Kairi, and in all the right places.
Riku: Yep, definitely time to leave.
***I may add more scenes as a second chapter for the heck of it & if I think of any especially since I'd like to 'rewrite' some of the scenes with Xemnas as well as add Halloween/Christmas Town to the list.