A/N This is what kept me up all night...
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but i do own a pretty rock that lives on my finger!
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
I stood on the bow of the massive cruise ship, leaning against the metal barrier that prevented me from swimming with the fishies. I held onto the railing tightly and tilted my head back to look at the night sky. It was black, but lit up magnificently with thousands of little stars. Everything was so much clearer out here…and I wasn't just talking about the sky. My life seemed clearer than it had in five years. The thought of my life and the choices I had made, made me shudder.
I closed my eyes lightly and thought about the day's events. It all seemed so surreal. Like I was living a dream…or a nightmare, I couldn't really decide. I didn't shed a tear for my loss, because to me, I didn't loose anything. I gained everything. I felt stupid for not realising it sooner. I wouldn't make that mistake again. I wouldn't. It was selfish of me, I knew that. But, everyone deserves to be a little selfish ever once in a while, right?
I lowered my head and continued to look out at the vast expanse of water all around me. The cruise ship travelled lightly cross it, leaving white foamy bubbles in it's haste. It seemed endless.
I looked at my hands that were still holding on to the barrier, my knuckles whitening with the grip and my palms beginning to callous. The moon shone brightly in the sky beaming down on me. Illuminating. The diamond of my ring glistened in the moonbeam and caught my attention.
When I saw it I didn't feel overcome with joy as every girl normally would. It stood as a reminder of my mistakes and what I failed to realize beforehand. I didn't love the man that gave this to me. I don't think I ever really did. He was comfortable and convenient. He was all I ever knew. I didn't want to know him anymore, and now…I didn't have to.
I dragged the ring off my finger and held it tightly in the palm of my hand. The sharp edges of the stone dug into my sensitive skin, imprinting its shape. Deep in my mind I knew what I had to do. Perhaps I always knew and was just afraid to admit it. Perhaps I was scared of what people would think of me…scared of what I would think of me.
I raised my hand into the air and threw the ring over the edge of the ship. I didn't do it in anger and I didn't do it in happiness. I did it because I knew what I had to do. I had to start over. I needed a clean slate.
I could see the ring clearly in my mind. I could see it floating on the top of the water, before slowly falling down the depths of the deep blue ocean. I could see it falling until it found its final home. I could see it sitting on the ocean floor, among the salty water, sand and sea creatures, gathering rust and eventually eroding into nothing. Salt was powerful.
I closed my eyes once more and inhaled. The air was crisp and salty. I felt proud and like the weight of the world had suddenly been lifted off of my shoulders. In perfect timing, smooth hands made their way around my waist. I was pulled into the arms of my one true love. My Edward. My back was pressed into his front and the comfort and love that I felt from something so small was immeasurable. I just couldn't explain it. I wrapped my arms around his and sunk into him.
"Hmmm… this is wonderful," I said quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence too much.
"It is… I finally got the girl. For once, the nice guy doesn't finish last."
"What are you talking about Edward? You know you're not a nice guy…you're on another guy's honeymoon you know!" I said with a little giggle, not entirely sure if it was too soon to joke.
"I guess your right. But do me a favour Bella?" I turned in his arms and looked up into his eyes.
"Sure, what do you need?"
"Don't call this a honeymoon. This isn't a honeymoon. It may have been at one point, but not for us. This was for you and…him. When… when we get married, it won't be like this. I know you're happy, but it will be different for us. Trust me."
"I know Edward, I know." I lowered my head and pushed it into his chest. "I am so happy to be here with you though. I'm not lying. There is no one else I would rather be in the middle of the ocean with." I couldn't help but giggle just a little bit.
Edward's warm hands gripped my chin and tilted it upwards to meet his glare.
"I love you Bella Swan."
"I love you too, Edward Cullen."
Hmmm...what do you think? Let me know!