Author's Note: It drives me crazy when people say, "It's complicated" when it really isn't. Things are only as complicated as people make them, and in this case, things are far less complicated than the characters involved- Kate in particular- are making them seem. I have no real idea where I'm going with this, it was just me taking Kate's 'it's complicated' comment as a personal challenge to un-complicate things.
Also, I apologize for the terrible pun, but it amused me too much to change it. And I thought it was fitting, as the 'complications' all seem to be solely on Kate's side of the relationship.
Kate lay in bed that night- in Richard Castle's house- staring at the ceiling. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable- Castle's house was far too comfortable. Everything in Castle's house was obviously expensive, but more importantly to him, comfortable. And Kate owed this stay in a better-than-hotel-quality room all to Castle.
She hated owing him anything.
Though she knew he would never hold it over her, the fact that she was basically a charity case now.
And to make the insomnia worse, Jordan's words kept running through her head.
Who the hell does she think she is? Beckett fumed. She didn't examine it too closely, but for some reason, she just didn't like Agent Shaw. I may not be ready to see it? What's that supposed to mean. I already know Castle cares about me. He wouldn't let me near his daughter let alone spend a night- several nights actually, now and into the foreseeable future- if he didn't trust me, didn't care about me. I know he cares.
She continued to rant silently, flipped over in bed yet again, and slammed her fists into her pillow in frustration.
The more she thought about it, and the more she tossed and turned, the more agitated she became, until she finally got up and made her way downstairs.
Kate found herself in Castle's office, staring at the shelves full of his own books. There were others too, but his own were most prominently displayed, and it was one of his books that she liked reading this late at night, anyway. Kate grabbed one of her favorite Derek Storm novels off the shelf, then got comfy on one of the chairs in the room, her knees curled up to her chest. It had been a couple years not since she'd read this book, but it remained one of her favorites.
Curled up, with the book balanced on her knees and her nose inches from the pages, Kate began reading from the beginning and lost herself for a little while in the world of Detective Storm.
"That's cute," Castle suddenly said, making Kate jump. "You move your lips when you read."
"Castle! How long have you been standing there?" Kate demanded, grumpy about being caught off guard.
Rick shrugged and said, "Doesn't matter." When Kate gave him a look, he added, "Not long," comparatively, he silently qualified. He pushed off from the doorway where he had been leaning and headed to his desk. Actually, he had been watching her since she sat down. He had heard noises in the loft and since their last case together, he no longer took safety for granted.
Kate closed the book, and made a gesture at it. "Sorry."
"Please," he said, shaking his head. "I want you to be comfortable while you're here. You're welcome to use anything I own. It's just stuff."
"Thanks," she said, uncomfortable again with the idea that she somehow owed Castle anything.
As he sat down, Kate stood and moved to the shelves.
"You don't have to leave."
"Oh," Kate stopped, her hand extended to put the book away. She carefully slid the book back into its place, and turned. "I should be getting to bed anyway. We have an early morning."
"Oh, sure," he said, hiding his disappointment with a smile. "One of the great things about not having a real job; I get to work whenever I want. I probably won't be able to get back to sleep for a while, so I'm gonna write for a bit."
She nodded and walked away, berating herself all the back to her room. Every time he entered a room lately, she found some excuse to leave. And tonight, she had really wanted to stay. Just to read, she added mentally.
Instead, she went back to bed and slept fitfully once she eventually dozed off.