Facebook. It had become my one lifeline to my former life during my days on the campaign trail. The only constant contact that I had with my family, friends, and even the town of Stars Hallow. No matter what city I was in, I knew I could get on my cell and be instantly connected to all the people I loved.
There were always messages waiting for me, reply's to wall posts, new photos to comment on and I in return could let my family know where I was, how I was doing and what I was doing without having to call each and every one. I could upload photos of where I was, and carry on a conversation for days without feeling horrible that it was 3 am their time and I was waking them because I was on the West Coast and just getting back to my hotel room.
During my days on the campaign trail, I pretty much convinced everyone I knew to create a Facebook account or to add me as their Friend, my mom, dad, Lane, Paris, grandma and grandpa and even Luke. I even reconnected with people I hadn't seen in awhile, Madeleine, Louise, Jess, Stephanie, Colin, Finn and even Tristan DuGrey.
However, now Facebook taunted me. It taunted me because of one person. Logan Huntzberger. My former college boyfriend. The one that some would say got away because I turned down his proposal. It was a name I could see, but a page I could not view all because his profile was set to private.
After I had created my account, I hadn't bothered looking to see if he had one because I knew he didn't. At least he hadn't had one when we were together, but when I became FB friends with some of his friends like Colin, Stephanie, and Finn, I noticed he had a page as well. I tried to not to think about the fact that I was unable to view his page too much, but then I saw his name on the friends list of Doyle, Hugo, and even my grandmother.
My grandmother was his FB Friend and I wasn't! How did that happen?
I would occasionally check his page every now and then and notice the profile picture which was about the only thing I could see. I wondered if he knew that if I was on here too. I figured he must have since we had mutual friends, but he hadn't requested to be my friend. I wish there was an ethical code on what to do when your ex has a social networking account and has the same mutual friends as you do. Are you supposed to ignore their existence or can you go ahead and request to be his friend, and if you do will that seem desperate or is that perfectly acceptable since you know eachother. What is the protocol and why couldn't he make the request first so I wouldn't have to keep making pro/con lists about this.
It's not like I need to be his friend. I don't. It would just be nice to know that it's ok to be his friend again. I mean we haven't spoken since my graduation. Not one email, phone call or text. Nothing for the past 5 years.
But it's not like I've been driving myself crazy about this because I haven't. It's just every time I go on FB it's like I hear this taunt in the back of my mind saying, "Logan's on here. I dare you". It's not even like I need to see his page because I've been able to keep up with what he's doing. He is a Huntzberger after all and a media figure whether he means to be or not.
Moving to California actually turned out to be the best move he could have made. The internet company he was a partner in ended up creating this new media design concept that became so incredibly successful that they ended up selling the patent for some insane amount of money. It was all over the news especially since a Logan Huntzberger was involved. Trust me I couldn't miss it.
However the even bigger news came when he decided to go back to Huntzberger Publishing Group, but he didn't just go back to take over like he had been groomed to be, no he created a new sister company, Huntzberger Media Ventures and is now the CEO of this new company which deals primarily with Internet media. Apparently he brought with him another similar patent and ideas that he created himself which has revolutionized the way the news is done on the net. Logan's return has brought his family company new legs and have made them successful again in this dying newspaper age.
The press has hailed him as a visionary and the future of the next generation in news media. He had done it. Made his own way in his family company and on his own terms. I was proud of him and I wish I could tell him, but how could I possibly do that.
At the bottom of my screen a pop up came up from FB.
LORELEI GILMORE-DANES: FRUIT OF MY LOINS
Of course my mother, and in a second....
Ring, Ring, Ring
LORELEI LEIGH GILMORE: hi mom
"Fruit of my loins!" my mom yelled from the other end of the line. "I see you're on Facebook. Shouldn't you be working?"
"I am working. Doing research. Facebook just happens to be up on another tab." I answered.
"What a coincidence I'm working too."
LGD: Research HA! Staring at his name again huh?
"Sure mom, being on Facebook for you doesn't mean you're working. Whose page are you looking up now and where at the Inn are you hiding?"
LLG: No I'm not. Researching.
"I resent that insinuation. I work very hard and if you must know I'm down near the stables. The Wi-Fi actually reaches all the way out here." Lorelei said.
LGD: Fine you're researching but tell me Logan's page isn't up on FB right now???
LLG: Fine it's up. Happy now?
It always amazes me how my mom and I are able to have two simultaneous conversations, on the phone and through instant messaging. It started when she wanted to talk about Luke but he would always get angry with her for telling me things so she decided to just write it to me through IM. It's continued though and it's now become an area where we can talk about things that neither one of us really want to say out loud but still talk about while keeping it light, subjects like Logan.
LGD: Well I think it's time you finally made a decision and stop staring at a page you can't view.
"Does anyone know you're down there?
"Of course not. Your brother wanted to see the horses so we're seeing the horses."
LLG: not that easy mom
LGD: Sure it is all you say is "Logan will you be my friend" just like Kindergarten
"Why is Jack at the Inn?"
"Oh because he wasn't feeling very well and didn't want his dad so he came with me to work."
LLG: This isn't exactly Kindergarten. I'm not meeting him for the first time. We have a history.
"Is he sick?"
"Not exactly, Luke doesn't really let Jack do anything while he's there except sit and color and your brother wasn't really into that. You know he's 3 he wanted to be outside and play plus I've taught him the various ways to annoy Michele." Lorelei explained.
LGD: So what did your last pro/con list tell you?
LLG: It doesn't matter.
LGD: You're not listening to your pro/con list??????
"So your grandmother keeps asking me when you're coming for a visit. I keep telling her I have no say in this."
"I don't think it's going to be for awhile. I have to go to DC in a couple weeks, I'm interviewing the Obama's regarding the re-election.
LLG: I didn't say that it basically just came out even again
LGD: How is that possible?
"Ah hanging out with Barack and Michelle again."
"Yes I'm thinking about introducing them to a Gilmore movie night. What movie theme do you think I should go with?"
LLG: I don't know
LGD: Did that list say anything about what you want?
"Hmmm interesting question with a bevy of possibilities. However, do you think they could possibly handle a Gilmore movie night. They strike me as the type to eat only fruits and vegetables and that is definitely not acceptable food during a Gilmore movie night.
"You make a good point they are kind of health freaks. With all the working out and everything. I don't know how they do it.
LLG: What do you mean?
LGD: Well you've spent the better part of two years looking at this boy's name on page that you can't view and debating on whether or not to request to be his friend and have kept up with what he has been doing AND when no man in the past five years has been able to compare to him
LLG: ok mom I get it
"I know he is the president when does he have time to work and her how can she still possibly have arms like that."
"It's crazy. Ok movie night out. I guess I will just have to interview them."
"Was that what we were talking about an interview?" Lorelei asked.
LGD: You miss him kid, you've never stopped. You want to reconnect even if it is only through Facebook.
"Rory I know I was never Logan's biggest fan, and I thought you were right to say no to his proposal," Lorelei said breaking from their previous conversation and speaking about what they had been talking about through instant message, "and I was angry that he gave you that ultimatum and then just left because he came to me telling me that he loved you, wanted to be with you, would take care of you, and wanted to marry you and then he just leaves. And for two years, maybe longer, you have been debating this and I'm probably sure he has too. But the two of you are so incredibly stubborn that you don't want to be the one to make the first move because how do you possibly say hello again to the person that broke your heart into a million pieces."
"No Rory let me finish. I have needed to say this to you and I'm going to say it now. I have watched you be miserable and have said nothing because I don't know I didn't think he was right for you and we had a plan and I didn't want a boy to get in the middle of that plan and he did but I see now Rory that you've been miserable without him." Lorelei explained, "I'm not saying that you should get back together with him or that you want to but kid you've got to stop dancing around this whole friend request thing because you should just do it. The worst that will happen is that he declines your request but at least then Rory you would have closure on the file that is Logan Huntzberger."
Neither of us spoke for a minute.
"Rory you still there hon?" Lorelei asked.
"Uh yeah mom still here. I just never knew you had so many feelings about this? How long have you been holding that in?" Rory asked.
"The stuff about staring at his name on FB, for a bout 2 years and everything else 5 years."
"Wow I always thought that you wouldn't want me to contact Logan ever again. You've never really wanted to talk about him?"
"No honey, I always thought you didn't want to talk about him at least not out loud, that's why I only bring him up on IM."
"Oh" Rory said quietly.
"What are you thinking kid?"
Contacting Logan was frightening. What was I afraid of though?
"I'm not really sure. I think that the truly scary part is what if he accepts? Then what? Do we pretend that we're simply old college friends? Do I leave him a message? What is the protocol for contacting you ex on Facebook?"
"Rory you won't know anything unless you just go for it."
There was a high pitch scream on the other end.
"Uh oh I've got to go your brother is screaming again."
"Ok bye mom" I said then hung up the phone.
LGD: Make the request babe
I clicked back on Finn's page and scrolled through the hundreds of redheads on his friends list until I found his name. I brought up his page and my positioned my mouse above the Add Fried button. If only it were that easy, like clicking this button would make Logan my friend again.
I took a breath and quickly clicked on the Add Friend button and pop up came back that said the friend request has been sent to Logan.
Oh crap what have I done?