The lyrics are probably 90% wrong because I couldn't find them anywhere so I had to write down what I THINK I heard, XD! You know that half the time, what you hear is probably not the lyrics. XD! Sadly.

I do not own anything but Shannon Moore, X3. And oh, the song is "Daddy's Not Coming Home" by Sarah Jezebel Deva, XD! That's as close as Cradle of Filth as I'm going to get. XP! I'm so excited. I seriously felt like writing, X3.

Also, since it's mah birthday and stuff, I decided to go back to my old writing style for today. Maybe you'll see more of it…I don't know. XD!


Title: D E L U S I O N A L
Rated: +18 – language; a bit of Hardy bashing; dark
Summary: 'Fall asleep, Shannon.' Finally, birthday Shannon angst…with the sweet tragedy and a little mystery. Slash.
Genre: Tragedy/Angst


"Your Mommy does the Praying/Don't ask me why/and your family knows you're asking questions…"


The scent of Shannon's flesh…

A mixture of blood and sweat.

Soft lime green eyes peered over his bed.

"Shannon?"

But his flesh smelled sweet as well.

The perfume's scent entangled within the bloody scent.

The scent of a forest heirloom,

--such a sweet perfume on such a bitter child--

S-S-S-SHANNON

He could hear the sound of the

why don't you push yourself harder, Shannon?

what the fuck is wrong with you, Shannon?

ANSWERMESHANNON.

The sound makes him jump up! in horror and defeat.

"Shannon?"

A memory of –

"Sorry for beating you up earlier-" "It's okay. Nothing a little concealer can't hide…" a smile on her stained lips

God, no.

God, no.

God, no…

He can't be imagining this.

"You're just seeing things, Shannon…"

Delusional.

The pain…

Is real.

S-S-S-SHANNON

(delusional, Shannon, you're delusional)

--you could see her praying, praying for help--

"Shannon?"

--sweet taste, bitter child--

why are you hiding, Shannon?

why are you so stupid, Shannon?

ANSWERMESHANNON.

A gasp of horror.

"Shannon?"

The voice…

M A T T.

Matt leans down towards him.

Lime green eyes met mocha brown ones.

"God, what in fuck's name did you do to yourself?"

NoNoNoNoNoNo

--misunderstood matty doesn't know that you didn't do this--

Matt's fingers trace along Shannon's cold skin.

"What did you do to yourself? I swear… this is getting out of hand."

Matt grabbed onto the razor in Shannon's hand but he only held on T I G H T E R.

The blood covers his body.

The scent…

--such a sweet perfume on such a bitter child--

"Shannon…this is getting out of control."

Delusional.

"You're not real." Shannon rasped out.

"No. I am." Chocolate eyes set so determined.

"Shannon, everything else isn't real. Your parents don't beat you up. You just see things that aren't there. You're delusional. Come on. Gimmie the razor before you hurt yourself."

--far too late, matty, far too late--

"No…they did this." Green eyes burning with tears.

"Shannon, it's hard to believe that they don't hurt you but they don't."

"Oh, just because you have Jeff…just because you have perfect, beautiful Jeff by your side when you wake up…"

"I'm not together with Jeff." Matt let out a sigh. "Shannon, you're delusional."

"No…"

::whydidyoumakemecrymatt?

and – and – and –

the tears

C A S C A D E –

"Your son has a condition, he just keeps seeing things…he keeps seeing people abuse him…people getting abused…he keeps seeing bad things happen and he doesn't know that they're not real"

Stupid Doctor.

Stupid parents.

Stupid Matt.

Stupid

S-S-S-SHANNON.


"Hey, let's play, happy family…/And pretend that someone needs you./Ahh…Daddy's not coming home/Ahhh…'Cause Daddy's found someone…"


Why do we need you, Shannon?

Why are you still alive, Shannon?

ANSWERMESHANNON.

Oh, God, stupid Matt Hardy…

He didn't need to see the hospital again.

With the white signs.

People telling him that he was crazy.

It was real…

The bruises…

The blood

Matt didn't do it…

Shannon knew.

"Shannon, I'm sorry."

Matt said his pretty little apologies.

And beautiful, perfect Jeff was by his side.

Shedding those tears.

In those identical green eyes –

pretty little Jeff's pink lips touch Matt's

"I'm so sorry-"

"Save it."

--you're tired of hearing them thinking you're crazy…oh but in the sweet way of course, because they're fucking Hardy's--

"Matt…it's real."

"No, it isn't."

Shannon's fingers entwined in his hair, trying to play with his bloodied strands.

He didn't remember much.

He just remembered

A lot of

Blood

and

Curses

and

Words that weren't meant to be uttered by those people.

He could still remember his own screaming.

S-S-S-SHANNON

Still wanted to die.

Oh pretty little butterfly

Still wanted to die.

"Shannon…"

"I-I-I've been hurt by someone I love…" Shannon's eyes are burning with tears.

"Shannon, listen to me. This is hard to believe but you really do see things that aren't there. I don't know why. The Doctors don't know why but you didn't know how to keep up with your childhood and now, it sent you into a mental mode that anything you see you believe and you see things, Shannon…you see illusions of people hitting you and when you wake up, you think it's true but you've been hurting yourself because you think you shouldn't live, Shannon…"

"So I'm crazy."

Matt's eyes…

P R I C E L E S S.

Widened.

"I'm CRAZY, aren't I?"

Matt couldn't say anything.

The look on Jeff's face…

H I L A R I O U S.

While little butterfly is crying on the inside…


"Tell me little stories you desire to hear/but cover your ears to block the screaming…"


--you can still see them hurting you… you can still see him hurting both of you--

Her bruises…

God…

(nothing a little concealer can't hide)

S-S-S-SHANNON

why don't you kill yourself, Shannon?

why do you have to stay alive, Shannon?

ANSWERMESHANNON.

The sound…

So…

H O R R I F Y I N G.

He didn't imagine all this pain.

He couldn't have imagined…

The razor cutting his flesh…

He wouldn't have done it.

He couldn't have done it.

He could see.

And remember…

The blood.

Then he had another "illusion" –

Coming back home only to get hit so hard that he felt as if his body was going to break the knife slicing into his flesh the screams the pain the crying

It isn't real, S-S-S-SHANNON.

"Shannon?"

He could still hear M A T T calling out.

"Shannon!"

Pretty Jeffy and brave Matty come to the rescue again.

From his painful

I M A G I N A T I O N.

Matt sat down beside Shannon, grabbing onto his hand.

"You…"

Matt's eyes.

Jeff's eyes.

B U B B L E

With unshed tears.

"Shannon…"

"My imagination. I know. I know. Just leave me alone."

Shannon was crying too.

Did it matter?

He could be passing out

And they wouldn't care.

As long as they were right.

"God, Shannon…"

Then all that Shannon could remember was

A L C O H O L.

Her breath…

While he was hitting her.

Her breath…

Just full of…

A L C O H O L.


"Mother works nights to pay the bills/but lies don't hide the drink and the bruising…/You sit in the darkness 'cause no one is there to witness all the pain they're inflicting…"


The next hospital visit-

Shannon could remember Matt talking –

"there's always a bit of truth in Shannon's fantasies" "you mean he was really abused?" "maybe he had a bad relationship with his parents, Matthew but there's a low chance it's abuse, these things are never direct"

Shannon looked down.

Tears leaking out of his eyes.

Dammit.

He was tired of crying.

Little butterfly wanted to just fucking die.

Instead of burning in this mess.

"Alcohol."

"What?" Matt was confused.

The Doctor seemed to understand. "What about alcohol, Shannon?"

"She drank it…to…to forget."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "I think I know what's wrong with Shannon."

Matt looked confused. "W-what?"

Shannon was confused too.

If he was going to say that he just watched too many horror movies that made him

I M A G I N E

Things that didn't exist…

Shannon was going to

SCREAM.

Shannon stood up.

The jolt.

He could hear a

SCREAM

Of horror.

Tears

C A S C A D E

Begging

For mercy

The

P A I N

Was indescribable.

Almost as if he was being ripped in half.

"I think that girl that he was seeing beaten so bad wasn't Shannon's mother…"

Jeff was staring.

Matt was staring.

S-S-S-SHANNON was staring.

"Yes?" Jeff's voice was soft.

Like the beautiful flower should sound.

Little butterfly

F A L L S.

"I think someone raped Shannon…someone abused Shannon…someone…close, almost like a blood relative."

S-S-S-SHANNON

Laughed

And his laughter

Turned into tears.

Then in the midst of the pain,

He could gently say the name that had been in his head…

"John…"

Jeff stiffened.

Shannon just stared down.

"John…John Morrison…"

The name

HAUNTS

His mind.

Every M E M O R Y –

Of the rapes of the pain of the abuse of the falling off the balcony and almost cracking his skull

After that, he was too busy passing out to remember anything else.


"So close your eyes and drift away…/Life is always better when you're sleeping…/Ahh…Daddy's not coming home/Ahhh…'Cause Daddy's found someone…/Sleep…close your eyes…/Fall…/I… will catch you…"


Shannon, Jeff and Matt…

Sitting in Matt's car.

Shannon's head on Jeff's chest.

As little butterfly finally remembered…

"He…he told me that I was pretty…he used to tell me that he loved me, that I was worth something…he told me I was pretty…right before…he raped the hell out of me…I was sad. I was…fucking sad…I threw myself off…the balcony…I was drinking so bad…that I couldn't remember a thing…I didn't know…I was happy…I fell…I hurt myself so bad…"

Jeff's fingers into Shannon's hair.

Comforting.

"There, there."

Shannon, the sixteen year old alcoholic –

then those soft green eyes come into the picture, the pretty ones

"He…he killed him."

Tears

C A S C A D E

Again.

"He killed him!"

"Who?! What? Shannon?!" Matt was confused.

Jeff was even more confused but he still held Shannon.

T I G H T E R.

Like the razor that Shannon held days ago.

The razor that used to be cut upon his flesh.

Like a paper.

The cuts are still there.

To mismark his flesh.

Forever.

"John…killed…my…m-my baby…my poor baby…"

The tears on Shannon's face…

Match Jeff's.

Jeff just stared. "Baby? Shannon, you're sixteen-"

"My parents made me marry the douchebag at thirteen. Like old times…and I had a child, Jeffy…I have a pretty baby boy. So tiny. Those screams…they're his…didn't make it past three…I-I-I want my baby!" –

the flash of him and his baby being through by the pool sounds of "I LOST HIM!" in the water, the dark murky water "John…please…" "Stupid child. Stupid you. Shannon, why can't you just die alone?" –

S-S-S-SHANNON.

why don't you just drown too, Shannon?

why don't you choke yourself, Shannon?

ANSWERMESHANNON.

Right before the vase broke against his hip.

He could remember Matt stopping the car.

To hold onto Shannon.

"Get a grip, S-S-S-SHANNON!"

They don't fucking know –

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Then he remembered jumping out of the car

"I'm CRAZY, aren't I?"

Nothing could be any clearer.

Shannon stood up and ran off…

Not even looking.

His feet ached.

His head throbbed and he fell down.

S-S-S-SHANNON

why are you so useless, Shannon?

why don't you stop screaming, Shannon?

ANSWERMESHANNON.

Shannon just near the edge of a cliff.

His memories, broken…

He could hear screams, distant,

Not so close,

"SHANNON!"

Did they matter?

The dark night…

The soft moonlight…

"Sleep…/Close your eyes…/Fall…/I will catch you…/I will catch you…"

Shannon looked down.

"Daddy doesn't come home…"

Shannon just shook his head.

The illusion of a lovely life…

"Mommy won't come home too…"

He must've tripped

Because he was

F A L L I N G

From an un I M A G I N E able height

And he didn't care…

The tears

F A L L

the leaves

F A L L

S-S-S-SHANNON

F A L L S.

"I will catch you…"

He remembered.

O P E N I N G

His eyes

And looking at M A T T

And pretty Jeff.

"Shannon?"

Tears again.

"Shannon? Can you hear me?"

Shannon just stared.

"Are you okay?"

It was obvious that he wasn't –

Blood

Everywhere…

Still spilling.

From his head…

"N-N-nothing a little concealer can't hide…"

And-and-and-and-

S-S-S-SHANNON

Watches as Matt kisses his forehead and Jeff holds his hand

But nothing can stop this from happening.

Inevitably.

"God, Shannon, you're so beautiful…"

You're fucking gonna die, Shannon.

Don't even speak to me, Shannon.

DIESHANNON.

Another gasp.

Before little butterfly's green eyes cast over the clouds

And

And

And

he surrenders to the green eyed

A N G E L.


Today, I turn 15! =3

Today, I wrote Shannon angst in my old style again. XD. I am accomplished. X3. How was it? How was it? XD!

I actualleh LIKE this one. O.O.

X Sam.