This is what happens when the Knights who say Ni tried to order a Shrubbery from Amazon. Please R'N'R.

RE: Order no 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Sent : 31 March 2010 15:44

To:

Dear Customer,

As always we value your continued patience, however due to supplier problems we are unable to deliver your order with the 2 day shipping promise. However we will endeavour to dispatch your order as soon we have more in stock. Please accept our apologies and a voucher for free next day delivery has been added to your amazon account.

Regards

Amazon Customer Services

RE:RE: Order 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From

Sent: 16 November 2010 12:12

To: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Dear Amazon,

We are the Knights who say NI! And we demand our Shrubbery! We already have one shrubbery, but being the keepers of the sacred words Ni, peng, and neee wom, we have been awaiting delivery on our second shubbery so we can get a two layered effect with a path running down the middle. When are you due to have it in stock as we would like it by Christmas?

Yours Ni!fully

The Knights who say Ni!

RE:RE:RE: Order no 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Sent : 14 January 2011 11:22

To:

Dear Customer,

Happy New Year! Unfortunately we are out of stock of item number 36381. Due to climate change, the earthquake in Hati and a really BIG christmas party we can no longer supply you with (insert item here). We at Amazon apologise profusely for this. In general most of our customers receive our goods within the 2 days. We can however offer you a Rhododendron Bush as an alternative. We hope his is satisfactory.

Regards

Amazon Customer Services

RE:RE:RE:RE: Order 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From

Sent: 14 January 2011 11:23

To: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Dear Amazon,

No, we will not be happy with a Rhododendron! We are the Knights who say Ni! We are just and fair. You must bring us another shrubbery, not to big and not to expensive. Or we will say NI to you and report you to trading standards.

Yours Ni!fully

The Knights Who Say Ni!

RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Order no 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Sent : 16 January 2011 15:12

To:

Dear Customer,

Amazon wishes to offer its apologies concerning the Rhododendron. It understands that this is not a adequate substitute for your shrubbery, but still I am dismayed. Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can Ni and threaten trading standards at will to old Amazon employees. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Unfortunately we cannot supply you with this item at present. We can either refund your money or you can have continued patience that we will find a shrubbery to your liking.

Regards

Amazon

RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Order 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From

Sent: 17 January 2011 18:20

To: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Dear Amazon,

Sorry for the trading standards thing. We'd had a horrible encounter with a fleeting phobia/speech impediment but it seems to have gone again. We would like a refund. Can get the shrubbery from dodgy King Arthur's Plant Emporium.

Yours Ni!fully

The Knights Who Say Ni!

PS changing email address to all further correspondence to this address.

RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE Order no 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Sent : 22 January 2011 14:01

To:

Dear Knights Who Until Recently Said Ni,

Amazon is very saddened that you have chosen to take your business elsewhere. We have a very interesting line in begonias coming out in the spring. Is there not anything we can do to encourage you to be more patient?

Regards

Amazon

RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE Order 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From

Sent: 1 February 2011 23:20

To: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Dear Amazon,

Cut down the largest tree in the forest, with a herring!

Yours Sincerely

The Knights Who Until Recently Said Ni

RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE Order no 36381 Small Shrubbery with Fence

From: Amazon Customer Services (.uk)

Sent : 1 February 2011 23:21

To:

Your refund has been credited to your paypal account

Regards

Amazon