My beta Lisa has been amazing once again. She makes sure my fuck-ups have hyphens in them and I cherish her for it, as well as her general unfailing support.
This story has drawn some really amazing reviews out of people, and I loved how much you understood the characters. Thank you to those who shared their own stories or thoughts and for making me so happy with each alert that popped into my box. I'd love to get to know you further so please find me on twitter (landdownunda) so we can chat.
It's been a cathartic experience. Hug your mothers and sisters, folks. Even if they do your head in…
Thanks again lovelies. Take care and see you around in the fandom world.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."
- Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
I feel like you probably know, but our first baby was born this week. Four days ago…a perfect little girl with ten fingers, ten toes, blue eyes and a shock of dark hair. I guess her eyes will turn green like her mommy and daddy's. I hope she has Edward's smile and his beautiful heart. No doubt she'll get the rotund Swan butt – we all had Grandma to thank for that one. At the moment she's just soft, squishy, delicious, sleeping baby. We named her Ava Rose. You'll always be the only Rose I ever think of, so I wanted to honor you rather than replace your image with that of my child. If she grows up to be anything like my big sisters, then I'll be a very happy mom.
Edward wants to fill our house with little Cullens, and so far I agree. If Ava is as good as Ben was, I'll be all for it. He's so perfect with her when he visits us with Emmett. He strokes her head just like we do to his, the way you used to do to me. He's still coming to me for one day a week. Emmett drops him off on his way to work and collects him in the evening. I wish he was here every day, but he needs to be with his daddy. He's doing an inspiring job, Rose. As you knew he would. He's patient and caring, generous, loving, and fun. We're so proud of the way he survived. I know it's not easy for him, but he'll be good. I'm sure of it.
I miss you every day. Which is a horrible understatement, but how do I really describe it? Sometimes an errant tear will slip out, but usually it's for a happy memory more than for the pain of your absence. We managed to find a semblance of peace. Peace that you're with us. Peace that we can talk about you and remember you freely. Peace that one day I'll see you again.
But not any time soon.
I have a hell of a lot of living to do before then.
I love you, angel.