Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are copyright of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros., and they were used without permission. However, they were used with consideration and with no intention of making money. This story is simply an appreciative fan's attempt at writing something to contribute to the world of Harry Potter.
Very Important Author's Note: This is a sequel to my novel-length story, The Moment It Began. If you haven't read that story, this will be make very little sense to you. If you don't want to invest in reading something so long, though, and you still want to read this story, I will briefly summarize for you. In The Moment It Began, Severus Snape was given the chance to relive his life, starting from the moment of "Snape's Worst Memory." He had the mind of a thirty-eight-year-old in the body of a sixteen-year-old, so he had all his memories and knowledge from his previous life. In reliving his life, he made many choices that changed things: He didn't join the Death Eaters. He "got" Lily. They fought in the war against Voldemort, who was eventually defeated. Severus and Lily were married and had a son, Evan.
This story is not going to be novel-length, but rather a short story. I do not think it's necessary to write something that's almost 300,000 words long to get across what I wish to in this little narrative. Sorry for the long author's note, but I hope it was helpful! Now, please enjoy!
Email comments to sindie11(at)yahoo(dot)com.
Sindie Presents a Harry Potter Fanfic:
The Moment It Ended
That was all he could see at the moment as he focused on his reflection.
Blinking a few times, he shook off the sleepiness that lingered. With a sigh, he knew he couldn't keep wasting time. Work was calling, and being a Healer was a demanding job.
Glad to be a wizard, he simply aimed his wand at his face and muttered a spell to remove a day's worth of stubble from his chin and cheeks. He ran a comb through his long hair and tied it back – it was easier that way with his profession.
Thankfully, he was already dressed, which was easy – all Healers wore lime green robes.
Severus Snape checked himself over one last time in the mirror. There had been a time in his life (or make that lives) when he hadn't cared about his physical appearance much. Whereas his fairly young face had been prematurely lined before, especially around the mouth and between his eyebrows, such lines were lacking, at least with the same intensity. He supposed that had something to do with the fact that he spent his days much happier now, so that meant less scowling, sneering, and grimacing.
Today, however, he frowned. Today was May 2, 1998, the day he had died.
He stepped out of the bathroom and went down the hall toward the stairs, his mind whirling with thoughts. Every year on this date, he had remembered how Voldemort had ordered his snake, Nagini, to sink her fangs into his neck. His life should have been ended forever, but he had been given a chance to start over, and it had been nothing short of a miracle.
Severus was content and had been for twenty-two years now. He had Lily, and he had a son, Evan, who was currently in his last year at Hogwarts. Voldemort was long gone, and the Wizarding World had been more or less at peace these many years. So, why couldn't he just be happy today?
Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, Severus was greeted by his wife. Lily stepped up to him and kissed him, smiling brightly.
"Good morning, Sev," she greeted him.
Here, Severus did smile. There were few mornings when he took this greeting for granted (little did he know that today would be an exception). To see Lily anew every day was a breath of fresh air, a reminder of how precious life was and all that he had gained.
"Good morning, Lily," Severus returned, now entering the kitchen.
He mused at how Lily was sometimes too good for him, what with her insistence that she make breakfast for him daily. He could cook, but she had become much like her mother over the years, both in looks and demeanor.
Lily's red hair was as vibrant as always. Whereas it was halfway down her back in her teens and most of her twenties, she now kept it just above her shoulders and layered. Severus found it a bit amusing that his hair was longer than hers, although not by much. There had been a time after they had both shaved their heads in support of Lily's mum's chemotherapy when their hair had grown very long, and Lily had teased Severus, asking him if he intended to mimic Dumbledore and that perhaps he ought to grow a beard to match his extraordinarily long hair. That had been enough to convince him to keep it just below his shoulders.
Like the bright color of her hair, Lily's green eyes contrasted the red as wonderfully as they did the first time Severus had gazed into them at nine years old. For being thirty-eight, her face was still youthful, and of course, she was still very beautiful to Severus. He didn't care that she had gotten a little wider around the hips, but that was just age and the happy result of enjoying life. Not everyone could be blessed with his metabolism, which kept him lean.
"How did you sleep?" inquired Lily, shoveling pieces of bacon onto Severus's plate.
While she did so, with the flick of his wand, Severus poured their coffee. He sat down and gazed across the table at Lily as she also took a seat.
"Fine," he said, his mind returning to his earlier thoughts.
Lily raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her husband, but didn't comment further. She knew him too well. Even after all these years of being together as best friends, lovers, and spouses, Severus could still close up when he didn't feel like sharing. He had always seemed older to her, which mentally was true, and while she knew this and all he had endured over two lifetimes, she still didn't like it when he was being less than honest with her.
"Evan sent a letter," Lily remarked. "It came this morning.'
"What did he have to say? Is he ready to sit his N.E.W.T.s?"
"You know he's always ready for exams," Lily replied, smirking. "Being in Ravenclaw has afforded him many good influences as friends, especially that Hermione Granger girl."
"Hmm, if only he weren't so close to Harry Potter," Severus muttered. "That boy is every bit like his father – a true troublemaker."
Severus had never quite gotten used to the fact that his son was best friends with James and Mary Potter's son. Yes, another Harry Potter. Seeing the boy through childhood and adolescence made Severus realize that the first Harry Potter truly been much more like Lily than James. He would have preferred that boy to the current one.
Lily only shrugged, laughing Severus's comment off with a wave of the hand. "He's harmless, and you know it, Sev." Sobering, she remarked, "Is work okay? You're not still dealing with that one patient who suffered from the Cruciatus, are you?"
Severus nodded reluctantly. Even though Death Eaters didn't roam wildly anymore, that didn't mean there weren't evil wizards out there. Reminded too much of the Longbottoms, Severus hated seeing anyone reduced to that condition, even if it was Gilderoy Lockhart!
"The idiot got too close to the wrong crowd. What can I say?" Severus stated. "His supposed fame was bound to backfire on him one way or another. Using Memory Charms on evil wizards and witches and other dangerous creatures has its consequences. I doubt he will ever recover."
"That's not what's bothering you, then," Lily said, finishing her coffee with one last sip. Standing up, she picked up her plate and cup and started carrying them over to the sink, only to stop when she gazed upon the calendar and realized the date.
"You know we have magic for that," Severus wryly started to remark, for Lily had always insisted on doing certain things the Muggle way. When she stopped in front of the calendar, however, Severus's insides churned, and he felt his face harden.
Placing the dishes in the sink, Lily returned to her husband and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling his upper body against her. "Oh, Sev, I'm sorry. I didn't realize the date-"
"Don't worry about it," Severus mumbled, looking at the remains of the bacon on his plate.
Gently forcing his head to turn and face her, Lily implored, "Severus, after all this time, why not just say something? Talk about it with him?"
"And risk driving him away?" Severus asked scathingly. "Every year it's the same thing – the blessed anniversary of my death comes round, and I contemplate whether or not to be brutally honest with Evan and reduce him to tears, knowing who his dad was… or he will think I'm totally insane. I worked for years, Lily, to build this life, and if I ruin it by driving this between my son and me, what will it prove? Today is the exact day. It's the year I died, and you know it, Lily. That is enough. You know everything, but it's been years since we talked about it-"
"You know I'm always willing to listen, Sev. Today is just a date-"
"It's a reminder of- of everything I did, of who I was, Lily!" Severus exclaimed, now standing and starting to pace. "Do you see why I choose to bury my thoughts on this matter? Is seeing me like this really what you want? Do you think it's what Evan needs to see? No, Lily, he doesn't. Some things are better left unsaid. Bringing it up now would do no good."
"Then why do you even let the thoughts enter your mind, Severus?" Lily asked hotly. "Either finally tell Evan the truth, or stop driving yourself mad every May 2. I thought you were happy, that you had moved past this."
Severus stopped pacing mid-stride. Gazing forlornly at Lily, he knew there were still some things she would never understand, and how could she? No one relived his or her life, no one but him, so who could truly understand?
"I cannot move past the moment it ended – my life, that is."
Lily shook her head, unable to comprehend her husband in that moment. She was frustrated and reminded of a much younger Severus, of a man who couldn't control his emotions when he shared them, so he kept them bottled up instead, hidden away from the world.
"I have to get to work," she muttered, and a second later, the spot where Lily had been standing was empty as she Apparated away.
Author's Note: I do not think someone could ever be expected to forget. If you think about everything Severus has been through, maybe you can understand why he still focuses on the bad things from his past, despite all the good. Remember that he can really be obsessive and narrow-minded about certain things. He carried a grudge that he couldn't forget, and of course, his love for Lily boarded on obsessive, and he could never, ever forgive himself for her death. It's funny but true, I think, that even when we should be happy, we can find something to make us miserable.