So i got addicted i guess to Dear John and all the Nicholas Sparks book. I think Dear John is the best tho ^^ so i wanted to write more about it. So here it is. Let me know what you think..? K? And i want so ideas! (: ha I promise it will get more detail and I'm not giving up on this one like i did the past 2 (: so readdd!!! ((: Thanks ^^
I can still smell her hair around me. I can still feel the tips of her fingers gliding across my face. Her lips being pressed against mine. And the feeling of how much I loved her when I saw her smile. I remember the summer I met her because I jumped in and saved her stupid bag. All because of that, I fell for her. I got to know her. I loved her. Then she broke my heart. All in a letter I received from her, telling me that she was in love with another guy. During that time, my father died, and I thought my life couldn't get any worse. I had no where to go. No one to love. I was unsure weather I would ever love someone the way I did Savanna. She was married to Tim. Of course I knew he always loved her, I just never thought that he would take her away from me. I never thought she would go away from me.
I was still the same old John Tyree. Except I had a house and a car that actually looked like it was form this time period. It's been 2 years since I lost Savanna. Hardest two years of my life. I quit the army and looked for a job in town. Something that had good pay. Well at least good enough to keep my house and car. I haven't dated anyone since me and Savanna. Nothing felt the same with any other girl. My friends would attempt to hook me up with some random girl standing on the street. I never went to the date though. I thought about going to college. But what good would that do me at my age?
My house was a medium sized Victorian house. Girly? Yea I know. But I wanted it so that way when…if I ever got married, my wife would actually like the house. Plus it was on the market for cheap because it wouldn't sell. The windows were the cheap ones you found in the early 1900's houses. The door was rotting and the paint was chipping. But on the inside, it was roomy. Almost too much room. I had 2 extra bedrooms that I didn't use. I used them as guest rooms. But not like I ever had anyone over to visit me. Except maybe my friend would drop in every now and again . I quit drinking for good after I last saw Savanna. The last wine that I had with her, only brought back memories whenever I picked up a can of beer. I kept working out at the gym twice a week. Trying to keep my body in good shape.
I find it funny how one girl can change your life, then she can come back in a change it again. Why is love so powerful like this?
I stood up from my couch. The window was open, letting the ocean breeze blow in as it wanted.
"Yea. Coming," I said shuffling my feet across the wood floor. The voice sounded almost like Savannas. The quit tone, but still strong enough to let you know she has the ability to do what ever she wants.
When I got to the door, I stopped before I opened it. I thought I got her out of my life. The only place she existed was in my head when I lay awake at night. And the old memories of the summer when I loved her. Still do.
"Savanna?" I blinked a couple of times to make sure I wasn't going crazy. She was wearing a jean skirt and a tank top that fit tight around her. Her hair was the same color that it was before. It was still long, and it floated with the wind every time the breeze came by.
"Yea John, it's me." She put her hand up on her purse and the other on her hip, "What do I look old or something?" She laughed looking around.
I still stood there while looking at her trying to think of why she was here. At my house. At my door step. Talking to me. "Umm, do you maybe want to come in? Those shoes don't look to comfortable." I glanced down at her wedges that made her a good inch taller.
"That sounds nice," she said smiling stepping into my house, "Wow," she looked around taking one step at a time, "It's….beautiful. You married?"
I laughed shutting the door behind me, "No." I walked towards her, "Now your not here because you want to talk about whether I have been married or not, you're here because…?" I didn't know where to go from there. I actually had no clue why she was here.
"You right John," she said walking into the living room, "I'm here because," she paused sitting down and putting her bag beside her, "because I need you John." She put her hands on her knees and leaned forward. I stood by the kitchen leaning up against the wall. My arms crossed and my heart beating.
"You need me?" I said unfolding my arms and walking over to the chair that was kindly set next to the couch.
"Sounds crazy huh?" She chuckled as she watched me walk over to the chair.
"Just a little."
"Well," she said crossing one leg over the other and leaning back into the couch, "Tim died…"
I sat there, "Really? When? Why didn't you tell me?"
She smiled and opened her mouth to talk, "Yes. And about 3 months after you left. And John I didn't tell you because you said good-bye to me. Plus you were back in the military." She closed her eyes and I could see tears starting to spill out.
I stood up and started walking over to her, "No John. Please…if you touch me, I'll remember how much I love you." she said putting her hand out, blocking me from touching her. I took a step back and sat back down.
"Ok then.." It got silent between us. She was looking out the window, squinting her eyes because the sun was setting.
"John, I just cant get over the fact that I'm still crazy for you. You and I both knew that I loved you, even while I was married to Tim."
I sat there and leaned forward, "You loved me, but yet you left me?"
She leaned forward too, almost coping the way that I was sitting, "I…it was such a hard time John!"
"Love is love Savanna! I'm sorry to tell you that! Just because I was gone in the military, and may I remind you that thousands of these men are married and leave there wives for longer than I have ever left you, and they don't go home or get a letter saying "I love someone else" !" I stood up, furious though.
"John, you weren't hurt!"
I laughed and turned around, "Wasn't hurt!? Savanna! You said you loved me! Then I get a letter saying that you love someone else! I get back home to find out it's Tim! And you think that I wasn't hurt!?" I slammed my fist into the wall. "Savanna, I still loved you! And I still do today! How the hell do you think I feel right now!? My once lover comes to my house only to say she needs me!? What the hell do you need me for Savanna!?" My eyes were filling up with tears. I haven't cried since the last time that I saw Savanna.
Savanna stood up and walked over to me. I backed up to the wall and slid down, landing on the floor. I put my head between my knees and cried. "John?" She said walking closer to me. I could hear her shoes hit the wooden floor. I lift6ed my head up and looked at her. My face was red. I could tell, from embarrassment and from crying. "John, Oh my God. I'm…. I'm so sorry. I didn't…I had no idea that I hurt you that bad."
"Guess I hide it well, huh?" I said watching her kneel down by my side.
"John, can I stay here tonight? I know it's a big question in all, but I, I miss you. And I have no where to go." She paused, and moved beside me. She put her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes.
"Savanna, I'm not a rebound for you."
"What?" she said lifting her head up.
"Just because Tim died doesn't mean you can come running back to me." I pushed away and stood up. Savanna sat there with a blank look on her face, "plus don't you have other friends? Family? Your own house maybe."
She looked up and me and brushed her hair behind her ear, "I did. But all my friends moved away. No one lives here anymore. I just heard someone talking about you living here and I figured I could find you and I would get to see you," she paused and tried to stand up. She fell right back on to the ground, and laughed, "John?" I go the hint that she wanted me to help her. So I walked over and grabbed her hand and pulled her up.
"Ok, continue," I said sitting down in the chair I was sitting in earlier.
"Ok…" she drew in a breath and continued, "My parents did in a robbery. It happened at a bank in Texas."
I cut her off, "And again, when, and why the hell didn't you tell me!?"
She smiled, "John, the funning thing is, I'm not sad about them. They wanted to die. They thought it would be better for me. But I don't know how they thought that. I'm....lost with out them. I'm lost without everyone. All i have is a stupid doorman and a manager to talk to. And the cat that lives down the hall." she laughed and smiled.
I looked at her. Confused and lost.
"And my house," she laughed turning around, "after Tim died I lost all kinds of money. The hospital made me pay for everything that the insurance wouldn't pay for. Then I had his funeral and since he didn't plan it, it cost a lot. So after all that I had barley enough money to keep food in my stomach. About 3 weeks after his funeral, the house got reposed." She turned around and walked to me. "For about a year I've been living in a crapy apartment. Then when I heard about you, I felt so much better about everything."
I sat there looking at her. I couldn't help but smile. Just knowing the fact that she missed me felt amazing. "Savanna," I said standing up and walking over to her. When I go tot her, she was crying, I knelt down, "Savanna, don't cry." I lifted her head up. Her tears rolled down her face, and hit the ground, one by one.
"I'm sorry John," he huffed to me, "I missed you John, I really did. When I was writing that letter, all I remember is crying over it, and starting over and over. I regret ever sending that to you. Especially since I didn't do it in person." She took my hand and kissed it, "So after you came to my house that one night, I started remembering everything that I had for you. And how much we had together. And I would cry myself to sleep at night and Alan would come into my room and sing me to sleep. Comb my hair and relax me. He never knew why I was crying though..."
"Wait," I said pulling back, "where's Alan?"
"He's gone to live with his aunt and Uncle. He was put in the hospital for mental illness because he was so devastated by losing his brother. You just cant imagine what it felt like for him. He lost it. When he came home after seeing him for the last time...he wasn't the same. I had to call 911 because he was getting violent. He was throwing everything around, yelling. Cussing. Crying. Oh John it was horrible. I was scared. Scared for him and for me."
I sat there and looked into her eyes, "Savanna, wow, I'm so sorry…"
'No John, please don't be. Ok?"
"Ok.. So where do you plan on going tonight?"
"No where, except maybe back to my apartment." she sighed and looked down, "My life is so messed up."
"Savanna," I said pulling her up off the couch, "Would you want to come with me to a dinner? I'll pay for everything."
So? Good? Bad? I'll add more details and more to it when i have time ^^ But please review it and let me know what you think!!! Thanks!!!!!