Little touching drabble about Beast Boy. Song: Dreams to Dream by Linda Ronsdalt
Beast boy fell onto his mattress, not even bothering to take off his shoes. It was on this day the Titans had fought and defeated Ravens father, Trigon. The other titans were celebrating, but the changeling decided to turn in early. Beast Boy was completely emotionally and physically exhausted. Not only that, but having to fight one of his friends parents had brought up memories that the green titan didn't want to think about: memories about his father and mother. The song his mother sang to him when he was a child and afraid, began to run through his mind.
I lose my way, no one cares.
The words I say, no one hears.
My life it seems
Is a world of dreams.
Beast Boy curled up on the mattress holding his pillow, trying to keep the burning tears from escaping his tightly closed eyes. The memories brought with them melancholy emotions. Ever since he joined his fellow titans, Beast Boy tried to keep up a carefree and happy facade, hoping to hide his true feelings from his closest friends, to keep them from worrying. He hid every unpleasant feeling, every feeling of abandonment, self pity, sadness, and distress.
Deep in the night, you'll find me.
Dream and you're right behind me.
Stay, if you will stay
We'll dream the night away.
He hugged his pillow to his chest, his shoulders heaved with silent sobs as the memories consumed his mind. Most of them were memories of good times with his parents. Some from before the accident that changed both his appearance and his very genetics. Back when he could go out in public without being ridiculed, walk through the park without being stared and pointed at. Playing at the playground with kids his own age. Then the horrible incident its self, his parents worry, remorse,and their regret. The hot tears began to flow faster. After the accident was when Beast Boy began to spiral into depression. He was still a kid, left mutated, nearly alone, and unable to even leave the comfort of his house for fear of being rejected.
Dreams to dream in the dark of the night
When the world goes wrong, I can still make it right
The green teen curled tighter around his pillow, burying his face into the cotton fabric trying to hide the sound of his sobs. For years, Beast Boy lived with his parents regret, lived knowing he was a freak, never again to be normal. His parents regret was what caused him the most anguish. Knowing his parents would never be able to forgive themselves for the accident, never be able to look at their son the same way again.
I can see so far in my dreams
I'll follow my dreams
Until they come true.
When his parents died was when the depression hit him the hardest. He blamed himself for their death; he could have saved them! If only he hadn't been selfish and had saved them instead of only himself. Beast Boys' barely suppressed sobs turned into wails of sadness, it felt as if a black hole had opened in his chest, pulling in every happy memory into the gaping maw. After the flood, he fell into a sad daze that lasted several months, until he saw a television report on the Doom Patrol. It was then he decided to join the Doom Patrol at any cost. Once he joined the Doom Patrol he relished in the feeling of togetherness, although the surrogate family would never quite fill the void left in his heart by his parents death. Neither would his new family: the Teen Titans. He used the drenched pillow to further muffle his screams of his anguish.
There is a star waiting to guide us
Shining inside us when we close our eyes!
Come with me, you will see what I mean,
There's a world inside no one else ever sees.
A quiet knock on the door jarred the young titan out of his reverie of misery. "Go away." he moaned, lifting his head just enough so who ever it was could hear. He plunged his tear streaked face back into the tear soaked fabric. There was a small whooshing sound, then the noise of approaching footfalls. "Beast Boy?" For once there was a hint of worry in Ravens voice. He flinched, feeling the goths stare. The changeling sat up, his back to Raven and wiped his face clean of it's sorrow. He turned and faced her "Hey Rae!" Fake enthusiasm laced his voice as a fake smile played on his face. Raven wasn't convinced as she looked at his face, his eyes and the soaked pillow. "Are you okay?" she asked the green teen, emotion once again proliferated her voice. His fake smile fell as he looked away from the goth teen. He brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs "Don't do that... Don't pity me, Rae."
You will go so far in my dreams,
Somewhere in my dreams,
Your dreams will come true.
She walked over to Beast Boy and sat down next to the yonger titan as he shuffled and turned his back to her. "Beast Boy I could feel your emotions from the rec room. What's wrong? Tell me what's causing you all this, this anguish." The dam that held back Beast Boys' misery, despite years of careful monitoring, burst open with the fury of gale force winds. New sobs racked the titan as he told Raven his about past, his facade and true feelings. She listened quietly, holding her comrade tightly as he sobbed, his head resting on her collar bone. For Beast Boy it felt like a millenia passed before his voice died away and his tears ran dry, refusing to fall. So he sat quietly, hiccuping every few moments. After almost a dozen minutes in silence Raven spoke. "Beast Boy, I never knew you had holed up some much misery for so long. Such a sad past. I wish I knew a way to comfort you..." She truly did. Beast Boy sniffled, "You already have. Just being here, listening." It was silent again for a moment. "Do you feel better, getting it off your chest?" she inquired, he simply nodded. The black gaping maw that had formed in his chest began to shrink, spewing back all the happy moments it had stolen. Beast Boy felt so exhausted.
Don't let go, if you stay close to me
In my dreams tonight, you will see what I see
His eye lids felt heavy and fluttered as he tried to remain awake. "Go ahead and sleep; you must be tired after all that crying." Once again Beast boy mearely nodded. He place his head in her lap, sighing as his eyelids slid closed. Silence, then, "Raven, please don't tell the others, I don't want their pity or their concern. This is my burden not theirs." This shocked the goth girl. Beast Boy loved attention; and if the others found out about his real feelings they'd shower the green titan with the attention he craved. He must not want thatsort of attention. She looed down at the boys head on her lap. "Sure Beast Boy, it'll be our secret." He smiled, "Thanks Rae, I knew I could trust you.."
Dreams to dream, as near as can be
Inside you and me, they always come true,
Raven stroked the green teens olive hair, as he drifted off into a lovely deep sleep, filled with dreams and the best memories of his parents
Inside you and me, they always come true...