Ok, so this is my first Twilight fan fiction. It's going to be amazing, I think. I have half of it planned out already, so I should be able to start pushing out chapters! This takes place in New Moon, at the glorious scene right before Jacob and Bella are about to kiss! Woooooot! Lemme know what you all think! Although I'm going to continue to write anyways!
I took the first section straight out of the book, and a lot of things will be similar. I'll sometimes take some more phrases straight out of the book, because I really want it to follow pretty well for the first few chapters. You'll get the hang of it!
I don't own the Twilight world. I only have my own twisted fantasies of Bella and Jacob! Thank you, Miss SM.
Chapter 1 – Decisions
We stared at each other for a long moment. His hand smoldered against my skin. In my face, I knew there was nothing but wistful sadness—I didn't want to have to say goodbye now, no matter for how short a time. At first his face reflected mine, but then, as neither of us looked away, his expression changed.
He released me, lifting his other hand to brush his fingertips along my cheek, trailing them down to my jaw. I could feel his fingers tremble—not with anger this time. He pressed his palm against my cheek, so that my face was trapped between his burning hands.
"Bella," he whispered. I was frozen.
No! I hadn't made this decision yet. I didn't know if I could do this, and now I was out of time to think. But I would have been a fool if I thought rejecting him now would have no consequences.
I stared back at him. He was not my Jacob, but he could be. His face was familiar and beloved. In so many real ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to have him belong to me. Alice was back for the moment, but that changed nothing. True love was forever lost. The prince was never coming back to kiss me awake from my enchanted sleep. I was not a princess, after all. So what was the fairy -tale protocol for other kisses? The mundane kind that didn't break any spells?
Maybe it would be easy—like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying, anyway? Just myself.
Jacob started leaning closer to me, and I felt my heart beat speed up. I gasped slightly at this feeling. This feeling that felt like right before I used to kiss Edward... I made my decision then. Edward wasn't ever coming back, and Jacob was the best thing I would ever come close to in this miserable life. I wouldn't ruin this. His eyes were shut and I closed mine, leaning forward also.
The phone started to ring. Jacob gave a quick hiss of disapproval and started to turn but I wasn't ready to let this go. My eyes came open as I reached up to grab his face and pull him back. Our lips slammed together then, and my body felt on fire. His lips, they weren't like Edwards. His were cold, and tight. He was always so tense when we kissed. Jacob... Jacob's mouth was like warm honey. He melted into me and I felt his arms come up around my back, pulling me closer to him. He was so warm, so comforting. Like a fireplace on a cold winter night inside a cabin with the snow falling outside the window. He would drive me crazy with his mouth.
I couldn't breathe, I was so wrapped up in him. I felt butterflies in my stomach; I felt new and whole.
The phone rang again, it's second turn, and I pressed my mouth more completely against Jake's. He opened his mouth and I almost didn't understand what to do before his tongue gently ran across my lower lip. My tongue came out a little and touched his, shyly. Then, none to shyly, I slid my hand up his arm and into his hair, which seemed to be the perfect length now. I curled my fingers into it and pulled him down into me. He groaned and I suddenly became aware of what I was really doing. Oh God!
On the third ring, I pulled away quickly, pressing my hand to my mouth.
"Oh my God," I said quietly. Alice was right outside. She was here, Edward's sister. What would Edward think if Alice just came in and saw Jacob and I like this? I could feel the heat of Jake's eyes on me before he stepped backwards and grabbed the phone.
"Swan residence," Jacob said and I lifted my head to look at him. His voice sounded so tight, so passionate. Had Edward ever sounded so completely out of control? Never... He was always in control. The realizaton hit me that quick. The difference between Edward and Jacob was as big as the grand canyon. But which side would I go to? Well, that would seem obvious, I thought to myself. Edward wants nothing to do with me, and Jake... Jake would always be here for me.
In the second or two that had passed, Jacob was suddenly tense and dark, staring at me before he turned away. Wow, what had happened there?
"He's not here." Another pause. Who wasn't here? Charlie? Didn't everyone know that?
"He's at the funeral." Slam. I stepped forward. Everyone who would ask for Charlie was already at the funeral, and the few who weren't already knew he'd be going. Who in the world?
"Filthy blood sucker," came out of those perfect lips next and then I froze.
"Jake... Jacob, who was that?!" I nearly panicked, stepping towards him again. He backed away from me, as if I had a disease.
"Get away from me, Bella. I can't control this," he said, under his breath. His hand was held up towards me, as if trying to keep me away. He was shaking, and I didn't care. I rushed forward anyways and hit his shoulder.
"Was that Edward?! Why didn't you let me talk to him, what's wrong with you!" I cried out, nearly hysterical. Edward had been just on the otherside of that phone line. My first contact with him in all these months. Mind you, it wasn't contact at all, but that was Jacob's fault!
"Bella, stop! He left you! He wants nothing to do with you anymore, and you're still pining over him like a little puppy! I'm right here, Bells!" Jacob said, growling at the end of his speech. His words hit home. They almost knocked me backwards. He had never been so brutally honest with me before. What was wrong with him?
"Bella!" Alice came running into the house. I turned my attention to her, unable to face the great big lug infront of me any longer. "Bella, he's going to the Volturi. He thinks you're dead, and he's already made his decision. He wants to die too." My heart froze for what had to be the third time in the last twenty minutes. Everything seemed to slow down. Everything suddenly didn't matter. Nothing, except Edward, and saving him.
"No... Alice, what do we do?" I asked, unable to feel too much. Was this what it felt like to be on auto pilot? I raised my hand to my head. Edward couldn't die. What was a world without him in it? What was my world without knowing he was alive? I grabbed onto the counter and tried to breathe deeply. Dizziness shook me. I thought I might throw up.
"Bells-" Jacob started but I turned away from him, leaning my head against the cabinet. I needed to get to Edward. Alice, please speak. I don't know if I can...
"We have to go to Italy. Now, Bella," she said, rescuing me. I lifted my eyes to look at her and after a moment's hesitation, nodded. I swallowed. She disappeared, no doubt to the car. I pushed away from the wall and threw myself towards the front door. My arm was caught before I made it out of the kitchen.
"Bella, please. You can't go to him. You can't leave me," Jacob said, turning me to face him. Auto pilot... Auot pilot, auto pilot, auto pilot...
"Jacob, let me go. I won't let him kill himself because he thinks I committed suicide," I gritted out, not looking up into his eyes. If I did, I would probably come off auto pilot. I would probably stay with him, if he pleaded with me one more time. If I saw his eyes...
"Let him die, he deserves it! He deserves whatever he gets because he left you, Bells! See reason!" Jacob pleaded and I hardened at his words, remembering his previous ones. I finally raised my eyes to his, knowing my decision was made.
"You mean, he's pining like some little puppy, right?" I paused for a moment, knowing he caught my drift. ""Let me go, now," I said, before tearing my arm out of his grasp.
I made it out the back door and to the car, which was turned into the street and running. I pulled my seatbelt on and then turned to Alice but she indicated to the window just as Jacob pounded on it. I was startled, but I rolled it down.
"Bella, don't DO this. I'm afraid for you, what if you don't come back? The vampires, Bells-" Jacob said, but I shook my head.
"I've made up my mind, and I'm going, Jacob Black. Get off the car, or I'm going to have Alice run over your feet," I said. Auto pilot...
"If you won't stay, then let me come! I need to protect you! I need to know you're safe... What happened in the kitchen-"
"I will NOT have a dog in my car," Alice cut in, eliminating that decision for me to make.
"What happened in the kitchen was nothing. Good bye, Jacob," I said, and Alice took that as the final word. She peeled out and left Jacob to stumble back away from the car. I let out a short sob before turning to look at her. She kept her eyes on the road for a moment, but then turned to me.
"What happened in the kitchen, Bella?" Alice asked, quietly. Her stare penetrated me to the core. My heart sputtered. Could I lie to her? I didn't think I could. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. Not even on auto pilot.
"... If Edward would kill himself all over again, if he read your mind and knew what happened, would you want me to tell you?" I asked. I swallowed as I watched her. She let out a breath through her nose, her eyes smoldered. She turned back to face the road, obviously dropping that subject entirely. Good, I thought, If Edward ever would have read her mind... I curled up into the seat and waited for her to speak again.
I watched as the leech took off with the woman I loved. The headlights retreated, and I couldn't do anything to stop her. It was her decision to make. How mother effing STUPID I had been, thinking I could make her mine. The kiss... God, the kiss would be something that wouldn't leave me for the rest of my life. But it hadn't made a difference to her. Nothing, she had said it was.
I turned and slammed my hand into her truck, so furious, I was surprised I didn't combust. How could what we shared been nothing? That moment had nearly changed my life. I shuddered, remembering her lips on mine. Her lips were like rose petals, silky and sweet. They were better than I had ever dreamed they would be. And trust me, I've dreamed of those lips on countless occasions. I leaned up against her truck, looking up at the sky. And what made it the best? She had kissed me. I was going to answer the phone, give her time and see if what I was going to do was a mistake. But she had grabbed me, and kissed ME.
And now, she was running off to save the ugly, sparkling leech. I growled. I could feel the anger rising again. I tried to stamp it down, but I felt out of control. How could she leave me for him? He LEFT her. He didn't care about her and who fucking KNEW what he was out there doing while he wasn't here with her? Was he out there sleeping with other women? Was he getting some other teenage girl attached to him, so that he could rip her heart out, just like he did my Bella? I shook uncontrollably. I tried to breathe, and felt like I couldn't. The transformation, mixed with heart ache. This was unbearable. I couldn't hold it back any more. I lunged to the forest but I couldn't make it. I split my shirt, my pants, my shoes. I was bigger, faster, stronger now. I was covered in fur, and I was animal. I stopped at the edge of the forest, tilted my furry head back and let go of everything in a loud howl.
I could feel all my pack there with me, in my head. They knew everything now, but I didn't care. I just needed the pain to stop. I couldn't deal with it in my human form. I went bounding through the forest, not knowing when I would stop.
A/N: Sooooo, what do you guys think?! Depending on if I get a review or not, I'll probably post this weekend. If I don't get a review, I'll probably wait til next weekend, because then I'm off for spring break from college! Wooo hooo!! Let's see how inspired I get, shall we!