My Master Won't Get Up!
Author: brodiew
Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
Genre: humor
Timeframe: five years pre TPM
Qui-Gon in Bed challenge

"Close that window, Padawan!" barked Qui-Gon Jinn, lying in bed, a fluffy pillow lying across his face.

"Rise and shine, Master," Obi-Wan replied, opening a second window in the room. "We are expected at the negotiating table in 30 minutes."

"You are a seasoned padawan, Obi-Wan," came Qui-Gon's muffled voice from under the pillow. "You will represent us. If I get up now, I'll only embarrass myself and sabotage the summit."

"You know that is impossible, Master," Obi-Wan said, blending mild rebuke into his tone. "The only reason these meetings are taking place is because you agreed to be their mediator."

"Then you will have to stall for me, Padawan," the Jedi Master said. "I'll have to get out of bed, take shower, review yesterday's transcripts, and meditate."

Obi-Wan approached Qui-Gon's bed and gently lifted the pillow from Qui-Gon's face. "Have you forgotten who the adult is in this relationship, Master? Where is your example of a stalwart work ethic?"

Qui-Gon sat straight up in bed, letting the covers fall and pool at his waist. His gaze was locked on Obi-Wan in a disbelieving glare.

"Listen closely, Young One," Qui-Gon said matter of fact, but not letting his frustration spill into his voice. "You don't know the whole story. While you were gathering valuable information at the dinner given for minor functionaries, I was 'honored' at a ritual of vigorous mental, physical, and gluttonous programs."

Obi-Wan flashed a wry grin at his Master. "So, that is why you stumbled into our cabin and fell onto your bed last night."

"Do not presume to think me intoxicated, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon chided, and grabbed the pillow from Obi-Wan's hands, wrapping it around his head and falling back into bed.

"You, Master?" Obi-Wan chuckled. "Never. But something sure kicked your hind end."

"And my ribs, my gut, and my back," said the Master, raising an arm and placing his forearm over his eyes. "My head feels like it was kicked by a domesticated beast of burden."

"If it wasn't the food and drink, what was it, Master?"

Qui-Gon's head shook underneath his forearm. "An obstacle course."

"Now, Master, I have a hard time believing you were put into this sad position by an obstacle course."

"You certainly are impertinent, this morning, my young padawan," Qui-Gon said, turning on his side and propping his head up with his hand. "You have no idea."

"Come on, Master," the padawan urged. "You must get up. We will be late."

"It's not the first time, Obi-Wan. Calm yourself."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan answered stiffly, but with no disrespect. He took a deep, relaxing breath.

"Minister Sipswiski had contacted Masters Yoda and Windu for details in creating a training course, that even a Jedi Master would find challenging. I'd like to see one of them attempt the course they helped create. Are you beginning to understand, Padawan?"

"Go on, Master," Obi-Wan said, struggling to suppress a laugh.

"This isn't funny, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, swinging his legs around to the floor and sitting up with a wince, his long, sandy blonde hair falling into his face. With a flash of two hands, he swept the hair behind his ears.

"It's a little funny, Master," his padawan replied mischievously.

"Laugh now," Qui-Gon said dryly. "Your turn will come."

"Shall I start the shower, while you continue to wake up? Perhaps, lay out your meditation mat? I know, get you a hover chair for the proceedings?"

"The only reason I'm letting you get away with this irreverence is because it would, literally, hurt me more than it would hurt you to take you over my knee."

Obi-Wan stretched out his arms to his master. "We really must get ready Master."

Qui-Gon took his hands and was assisted to his feet. "Very well, Padawan. I will do it, if only to save your face." He looked into the full length mirror next to the bed and groaned. "Mine is too far gone."