Anyone else but you
Ah yes, That Night. Let me get this cleared up; I. Don't. Hate. You. I was angry, hell, I was FURIOUS; I mean, who wouldn't be? And I didn't overreact. You can't remember half of That Night, and honestly, I don't have the heart to tell you (even when it's not beating). But I guess you deserve to know some of it, purely because I know you hurt. You hurt bad. Thing is honey, there's no going back.
So where was I? Ah yes, you'd just come in. You were carrying a half empty bottle of cider, and were sloshing it about. It wasn't good cider, more the cheap kind that gets you drunk quick. I saw you when you came into my room, I had been lying down watching some film or other, still dressed in the jeans and shirt I was wearing earlier. I may not be able to describe in detail exactly what did happen that night, but the one thing I remember more than anything else, was the smell.
It wasn't cider, it wasn't alcohol- it was perfume. I don't know whose, but the smell of euphoria by Calvin Klein is one smell I will never forget. Why? Because it wasn't mine, and I know for a fact it wasn't yours.
It's something I will never know- I don't think you will either. I'd asked you the day after, when you had the worst hangover known to man, but you denied seeing anyone. And I believe that's what you think- but that doesn't mean it's the truth. I know you were with someone else, a girl. But that was it, right?
Well, in a word, no. Far from it. That Night had just begun, and honestly, it just got worse, and worse, and worse. For me, anyway.
So you came in, you were drunk and then you saw me. You gave me a sloppy smile and I was just about to yell at you for being late when you tilted your head to side and stared at me. For a moment, I didn't know quite what I wanted to say, and before I could, you kissed me. You tasted good, I remember that. Like, strawberry lip gloss mixed with apple. I know the apple came from the cider, but when I asked you about the lip gloss as I pulled away, you just smiled at me and kissed me again, running your hands through my hair and easing me down onto my bed. I'd tried to push you off- you were hurting me- but I couldn't you were stronger than I was, especially since you had the advantage; at that moment, you didn't care who you hurt to get what you wanted, but me, I couldn't hurt you for the world.
After a while, you tried to pull off my shirt, and you succeeded. But when you slowly slid off my jeans and tried to go further, I had had enough.
"Stop!" I screeched, but you looked at me with a confused expression. You wouldn't speak, I remember that, no matter what I said, the answer was a loose smile or a tilt of the head. Some would say your eyes told it all, which is complete and utter sappy bullshit. It was the way you smashed the empty glass bottle over my skin after throwing the contents down my burning throat that told me you didn't care.
But what I didn't realise was, you did.
You really, really did.
You just didn't know what you were doing.
Nick sighed. He couldn't remember any of this, but he knew she wasn't lying. He had seen the shards of glass the next morning, but when he had asked her about it she had just flinched and closed her eyes for a tiny second before giving me a brief smile and answering, in her best 'I couldn't care less' voice, 'oh, nothing.'
He scanned the rest of the page- there was more. He wondered what these empty words that meant so much to him and the love of his life would contain- secrets, emotions, memories? There was one way to find out. Read it.
Time to move on to our next place; the park, the one with the half- broken swing down by the out-of-business hotel. That place holds so many of our memories, so I want you to go, right now, down to that park before you read this. Because if you don't, it won't feel real. This all happened, baby, and I don't want you to forget. It wasn't a dream, none of it was, all cold, hard, solid fact.
Immediately, Nick got on the bus. He ran outside to the stop and beeped in his oyster card. He got strange looks from the people around him, staring at his dishevelled appearance. He didn't care. After a while, he finally got there. He saw the swing she was talking about, and carefully sat down, making sure not to cut himself on the rusty metal and the shredded seat.
The most important thing that happened right here, I'll talk about later. Let me start at the beginning, the little things that make up the big picture. This park, where you are right at this moment, is where you first asked me out. To a movie, you had explained, and yes- we WOULD actually watched it.
Okay, that's that memory, but I feel bad for dragging you out here for just a minute. So, the next thing that happens here, was where we watched the fireworks dance about in the sky as I laid my heart on your chest and smelled the warm summer air as I thought about you, about us.
And, let's face it, they were pretty awesome fireworks.
A.N. Okay, this is a pretty long chapter for me. So REVIEW. I read them. And if you do read the Lyrics of My Life, you're not getting another chapter till you review, so do it.
And, random fact, there's this milk shake shop I go to after school. I walk in, and the guy knows my order. It's kind of scary, but, you know, I always get the same thing. So it's not exactly rocket science. So, review and all that, okay?