Title: Spices
Fandom: Naruto
Summary: When you are young, you are told that girls are said to be made of 'sugar and spice, and everything nice'. Well, these shinobi's learned a little late and combining that phrase with inquisitive minds... Well, they want to find just spices their girls are made of.
Rating: T
Pairings: NaruHina (main); (hints of) SasuSaku, ChouIno, ShikaTema, and KibaTen (yeah, I do not know where that one came from...)
Main character(s): Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Chouji; Hinata
Chapter(s): 1
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or the quotes.

"Did you know that girls are made of 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'?"

Naruto looked up from his bowl of ramen and stared at the person sitting beside him who had just told him this seemingly random piece of news.

Sasuke raised a brow and Shikamaru tried to refrain from rolling his eyes. Well, he knew that they probably weren't going to make much progress in planning their upcoming mission the moment Naruto was put into the group, and combine that with ramen, an (almost) equally hyperactive shinobi – Kiba – and his long-term rival/brother – Sasuke... Well, they had no chance from the that they would get anything done.

But it had been oddly quiet and when he looked over to Kiba (the one who had just spoken up) it made things a little more understandable... And not, at the same time.

"Uh, Kiba..." Naruto started slowly, before a grin crept up across his face. "Why are you reading a book of poems...?" It only a took a moment before the blonde burst out into boisterous laughter. "Such a girly book!" He cackled.

The Inuzuka's ears brightened. "Hey, my sister forces me to read these, okay?! It's not my fault... Besides..." He grinned, waggling his eyebrows. "You wouldn't believe how many girls love a guy who knows poetry." Kiba paused. "Of course, what would you know of this, as you've never been with a girl..."

Naruto didn't find this as funny as Sasuke, Kiba, and Shikamaru seemed to. Sasuke snorted, putting a hand over the lower half of his face, Shikamaru smirked a bit, and Kiba chuckled at his own joke.

Even Chouji glanced up from his food, having previously been ignoring the conversation.

Naruto frowned. "I have, too!"

The other guys just glanced at him. "Suuure, you have..." Kiba mumbled, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

"No, I have."

"With...?" Sasuke prompted, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"Sakura-chan, of course!"

Sasuke blanched, Kiba's mouth dropped and Chouji stopped his chewing and turned around in his chair.

Shikamaru just raised an eyebrow. "Naruto, we don't just mean ... hanging out or training..."

"Y-yeah. Romantically..." Kiba stuttered out, getting over his surprise. Sasuke wasn't having the same luck and seemed to be a bit whiter.

"Oh..." Naruto paused. "Well, no, I haven't been like that with a girl!"

The rest of the guys sighed (Sasuke's more of relief than of exasperation). It was Naruto, after all...

"So... You were saying Kiba?" Shikamaru asked, turning his attention back to the half-forgotten phrase.

"Mm. Yeah, it says here: 'Girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice'. Where as boys-" He turned to the other page, then his brown eyes narrowed. "-Are completely hated." He grumped.

Naruto, becoming interested now, leaned over the other shinobi's shoulder and read the phrase. "'Boy are made of snippets and snails, and puppy-dog ... tails.'" His nose scrunched up a bit in confusion, then seemed to set in, as he threw a heated glare at the innocent book. "How come girls are so nice?!"

Chouji, meanwhile, had finished his couple of bowls a while ago and was concentrating on the girl's phrase still. It didn't bother him about the boy's one, but the girl'...

"What ... sort of spices...?" He asked slowly.

Shikamaru looked over at his friend. "Not literally."

"Oo! Sakura-chan would be cinnamon!" Naruto proclaimed.

"Maybe more like chilli powder..." Kiba muttered, obviously referring to her deadly-when-ignited temper. "But maybe Tenten would be cinnamon?"

Chouji seemed to contemplate something for a moment, before speaking up again. "Ino would be barbeque."

Shikamaru glanced at the Akimichi for a moment. Barbeque was Chouji's favourite flavour...

"Barbeque is a spice...?"

Naruto was ignored.

Shikamaru shook his head. "Actually, I think Ino would be a mix between Coriander seed and Cayenne pepper."

Chouji thought for a moment, as if recalling both spices, then finally nodded his approval.

"Coriander seed is a spice?!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, deciding to answer this time. "Of course, dobe." He pointed over to the spice cupboard behind the cook of Ichiraku Ramen.

Naruto glared at his teammate. "Teme!"

"... Dobe."


Shikamaru cut in before they could continue. "I wonder what Temari would be...?"

Kiba grinned at the strategist. "Oh...? Someone's sounds interested now." He ignored the slight glare sent his way and quickly continued. "Anyway, I think Hinata would be-"

"Bay leaves!"

Kiba turned his attention to Naruto, surprised. "Well... I was going to say sage, but... Yeah, it suits her."

Naruto grinned. "Yeah, it does..."

"... How do you even know of bay leaves?" Sasuke asked, and Kiba nodded his head in agreement.

"Aw, come one, guys. Stop beating me up..." The blonde whined, sulking a bit.

"Okay, so Hinata's figured out..."

"Next up: Temari!" Kiba announced, sending a teasing grin to the lazy Nara who was suddenly not looking as lazy...

"Maybe oregano?"

Chouji frowned a bit. "What about celery seed?"

Shikamaru smiled fondly, but covered it hastily behind his hand. "I think both kinda suit her."

"Okay! So both, it is." Naruto agreed.


"Sakura." Sasuke cut in. Before anybody could say anything, though, he added, quite bluntly, "Basil leaves."

Naruto blinked, before his (in)famous mischievous grin started to show. "You sound sure..."

Kiba grinned. "That he does."

The two glanced at each other before bursting out into raucous laughter.

"Yeah? What about you guys? How are you so sure?"

The two stopped and thought about this for a moment.

Shikamaru, taking more interest now, spoke up again, "How about we test these theories...?"

It was silent for a moment... Then, with out another word, four young men stood up – even Chouji – and promptly walked out of the store.

Naruto was the only one left. "I don't get it..." He pouted. "No fair, guys!"

Suddenly, Hinata walked into the restaurant. "Ah, N-Naruto-kun!"

Blue eyes lit up. "Oh... I get it..." he mumbled, then, standing up and walking up the stuttering kunoichi, he said in his best alluring voice, "Hinata-chan... What do you smell like? What about your ... taste?"

Thus, Naruto found himself holding a fainted Hyuuga Hinata. She stood no chance.

He was silent for a moment before the blonde leaned down and sniffed her hair. "Hmm, we were wrong. She has a scent that is uniquely hers..." A gentle smile eased onto his face, then he carefully lifted her into his arms comfortably and walked out the door, ignoring his uneaten ramen for once. He found something else he had to attend to instead...

AN: Agh!!! I've had this ready – minus the last couple paragraphs – for over a year now!! I was planning on making this a birthday present for Hinata, when I realized the date I had for it was Hanabi's (March 27th). T.T Anyway, I had kinda forgotten about it until about ten minutes ago and decided to finish it. Enjoy the crack and fluff!! :D

- Cady :D