Yes, I'm J.K Rowling. HA.
The shadows. Ah, the shadows. Before I met him, I lived in the shadows. Before anything ever happened to me, and when my life was ordinary but comforting. I had to give up the shadows for him, and he was the reason I did.
When you walk in the shadows, you're not noticed as much. You are bathed in grey, you fade, just that little bit. But that little bit is enough to go unnoticed, to go without questioning and glances. It's almost as if you're invisible.
And I loved every part of it, moving silently from place to place, never looking back. I had lost all of my close connections with people, and I wasn't sorely missed. I just kept moving on, moving forward and moving away from everything.
Then you came along, and disrupted my flow. You saw me, in the shadows. You saw the real me; the person who I was before everything got to me. You saw through me, you saw through my shadow. At first, I couldn't understand why you could see me, and others couldn't. What was so special about you, what gave you the right to see me? I wasn't supposed to be seen, I wasn't supposed to be anything. I had given up the right long ago, and I didn't miss it at all.
But what you did was the thing that surprised me the most. Instead of just dragging me out of the shadows, you just walked into them, falling in step beside me as if nothing were different about the day. I didn't bring anything up, my constant silence wrapping around us like a cloud. It was merely a mist of serenity, something that would defer any stray eyes or questioning motives. We'd just walk by silently; invisibly, and no one would be the wiser. Once, I wondered if I'd even show up in photographs.
It was like this for a few days, just walking along and breathing, as if we were some supernatural being, a ghost or a spectrum, wasting away and trapped on this lowly earth, wishing it was somewhere else. We were trapped and helpless, with only each other for company. You know what? Now I realize exactly what they mean when they say misery loves company. You were my company, and I was the misery. After a while, my feelings faded into yours and we became like copies, silent, thinking and saddened by the dread of life. You were me, and I was you.
Even longer after that, we were still side by side, emotions as one. But something changed, and you looked over at me, something indefinable waiting in your eyes, waiting for sweet surrender.
"Come out with me," you said, the first time I had ever heard your voice. It was smooth and desirable, it made me breathe in quickly, startled that you even spoke.
"Come out with me," you repeated, slipping your hand into mine and tugging on it gently. I looked straight into your eyes, the terror undeniable on my face, pumping through my veins and making my heart beat ever so fast, almost as if it would stop at any second.
I knew what you meant. You were asking me to come out of the shadows, to move out into the light and to change. I was startled of change, horrified at it. What even made you think that I would go with it? But, oh. There was you, wasn't there? You, the one who had joined me in the shadows, seeing me as who I truly was, seeing me for me. You, who had followed and came along with me, never speaking a word and falling into routine without a hitch. You, who was so attuned to me, when you didn't know the slightest thing about me, not my name, who I was, who I would ever be. My dreams, aspirations, my past and my present, what I hoped for the future. My favourite colour or my star sign, things about my family, pet hates and things that I liked about people. And yet, you made no protest. And that's why you were so different. You were you.
And that's what made up my mind. You were the only person who had ever stuck your neck out for me, do or die I suppose. You gave up everything for me, you did it so you could save me from the shadows, save me from me; the person who I needed saving from the most. The shadows, when I thought they were my allies, they were my worst nightmare. They'd draw me in and keep me forever. I'd become morose and subdued, much longer and I wouldn't even have the strength to leave the shadows. I owed it all to you.
So I turned and steeling myself, I stepped out of the shadows.
And then there was light. There was colour and movement and people. There was awe and gratitude. There was the most amazing thing in the world; the world itself. There was the tremendous and deep blue of the sky, the green that engulfed the trees, a green sea when the wind blew through. There was the bright, intense light of the sun that instantly warmed me from head to toe, there were the colours of clothes, skin, eyes, hair, shoes and accessories. It was a rainbow, a symphony of desire and antiquity and honesty and love. There was happiness and friendship; creativity and animosity. There was the world, and then there was me.
My eyes found you, and then you were better than the world itself. You brought me back, brought me to life, so to speak. You were my reason and my being. And do you know what? You were my everything, and you still are.
Then I looked you in the eyes, smiled and did something I never thought I'd do. I fell in love.