Just Keep Breathing.

Summary. . . . . . . . . . . He thought he'd left it all behind when he'd walked away from that bench and turned his back on Dean and the hunting life, but a blast from the past changes all of that, and thrusts Sam back into the life he had so hoped to put behind him, forcing him to make a tough decision. Will he make the right call? And just how much will that call cost him?

Disclaimer. . . . . . . . . . Still Kripke's, but being the kind man he is, he's allowing me to play in his sandbox.

A.N. . . . . . . . . Well what can I say? Happy Birthday Darksupernatural just doesn't seem to be enough. I hope you have a great day Sis, I'm only sorry that I can't be there to help you celebrate it. Love ya, and I hope you enjoy the fic.

To everyone else, DS's prompt will be in the final chapter so you can decide if I did it justice then. The lyrics used in all chapters and the title of the fic come from the song Far Away by Nickleback, who I also don't own. Thank you so much for taking time out to read. Enjoy, Peanut x

A chorus of laughter, and a bouquet of perfume drifted across the night time air as multiple doors opened, and then quickly closed, on an older, yet pristine deep purple Dodge Charger, as five woman climbed out. The women gathered at the front, sorting out coats and bags, checking make up and hair, before slowly making their way towards their usual Saturday night destination. They ignored the line up, greeting the bouncers by name, a few of them pressing quick kisses to their cheeks, and made their way through the thick front doors, and into the only decent bar for miles around.

Checking in their coats, two of them headed for the bar, whilst the rest aimed for the semi circle booth that was always reserved for them, greeting a few people along the way before sliding into the plush leather seats. Men came to their booth, some they knew and greeted accordingly, others drifted away after they were ignored, or told in no uncertain terms to beat it. The three of them noticed the change as their two friends returned with their drinks, noticed the twinkling within their eyes as they sat down. They waited until their ritual toast for a good night was finished before firing the first question.

"So? What's up" Jean asked, pushing a loose strand of her brunette hair out of her eyes as she did so.

"What do you mean?" June replied, her grey blue eyes still twinkling.

"You go off to the bar and come back like a dog in heat, that's what we mean." Kristy stated, her blonde hair swaying on her shoulders as she shook her head at her best friends shocked eyes and mock hurt expression.

"Well." Nicole started, her brown eyes catching those of her friend sitting opposite, who was privy to what she had just seen. "There's a new barman, and boy oh boy is he something."

"We should have known. It's always a man." Lee stated from the back of the booth, her blonde tresses loosely pinned up. She sat back as the others discussed the new "meat", sipping from her drink and allowing the music to drown out their lewd thoughts. Although she had known her friends for close to five years now, and loved them all dearly, them being the closest thing she had to family, she never could loosen up enough to allow herself to fall into the discussions they had constantly about men. Too many memories surfaced, and the pain they created was not worth it, so she took a back seat and allowed them to ramble on. They had tried in the past to get her to join in, they'd even tried setting her up on the odd blind date, but the dates were refused, and with time they learned to carry on without her, she didn't mind, and with time they realized that they weren't offending her, or spoiling her fun by not including her.

Lee was pulled out of her daze as Kristy tapped her shoulder. "We're done discussing him, you can snap out of it now. From what they say though, he'd be ideal for you."

Lee bumped her friends shoulder and laughed as she replied. "You think everyone is ideal for me."

"Well it's not right that you should be alone." She stopped as she saw what her words were doing to her friend. "I'm sorry, I. . . . . .we just get concerned at times. We want you to be happy."

"I am happy." Lee answered with a smile. "Believe me I am, men just complicate things."

"Not all men. You can't tar them all with the same brush." Kristy paused before asking a question she had asked a million times before. "Are you ever going to tell me what happened to make you feel this way?"

"I met the most perfect man and I fell deeply in love." Lee replied sadly, giving the same answer she always did.

"Yeah yeah." Kristy groaned, knowing that she would get no further discussion on the subject. "Get up girl, it's your round." She added wanting to change the subject before her friend slipped back into a slump that would consume her for the rest of the evening.

Lee bumped her best friends shoulder again, and planted a peck on her cheek, before clambering out of the booth. She took a mental note of what they all would like, three vodka cranberries, one vodka coke, and what the hell was Nicole thinking, a purple nurple? before making her way across the room towards the bar. Seeing it was fairly busy she waited her turn, her body turned slightly so that she could watch the people dancing away. She jumped as a voice spoke behind her, a voice she thought she recognized, turning around she looked up and into the expressive, loving eyes she had long ago left. Stunned she could do nothing but stare, until a bottle slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor.


No matter how hard she tried Jessica Lee couldn't remove her eyes from his face. Her mind raced with questions that her lips refused to ask. How could this be? This couldn't be happening. She was never to see him again. He was never supposed to know. What was she supposed to do now? Keep breathing, just keep breathing, she prompted herself. It took the touch of one of her friends hands on her shoulder to bring her back to earth, that one touch all she needed for her to decide what to do, run. Turning quickly on her heels she ran for the doors, not seeing Sam jump over the bar, glasses and drinks spilling and crashing to the floor, other patrons shouting out their protests as he hastily follow her, frantically calling her name, or her friends rush from their booth caught between wondering what was going on, and the need to help her no matter what.

She pushed open the glass doors and rushed past the bouncers who called out to her asking "is everything alright Lee?" Ignoring them she rushed on until the chill of the night time air bit into her exposed skin, reminding her that she had left her jacket and purse inside, and her car keys that still lay within her purses pocket. She had no where to go. Hearing the door crash open behind her, she frantically searched for some where to hide, but it was no use as the footsteps she would recognize anywhere raced closer and closer.

She heard him pause before her, could feel his eyes take in every inch of her trying to confirm what his mind was telling him couldn't be true, could practically hear his heart thudding against his chest, could hear the pain and desolation mingling with the hope and love when he spoke.

"Jess? Is that really you?"

Just five words, but each one struck her with a vicious blow. She knew she should deny it, knew she should tell him "no" and run away as fast as she could, leave this place she now called home and head once more into hiding, but she couldn't seem to get her legs to move, and when she made the mistake and raised her head, and looked once more into those eyes that told much more than words ever could, she knew she was doomed and crumpled to her knees, tears and sobs breaching the defenses she had raised to keep them back.

She didn't hear her friends, or the bouncers arrive and inquire of her what was going on before rounding on the person they felt responsible for her distress, didn't hear the punches that were thrown as both parties received no answers from either her or Sam, didn't recall anything until she heard a pained gasp finally fall from Sam's lips as the beating increased and he did nothing to retaliate. Sam's body falling to the floor finally pushed her to move, pushed her to shout out at the bouncers to stop as they threw kick after kick Sam's way. She dropped down beside him, as they finally heard her and stopped, cradling his beaten head in her lap as she cried for them to get help, nobody making a move until she turned to Kristy and said. "He's the perfect man."

He recognized the smells and the sounds as he woke, and knew immediately he was in a hospital, even if the reason for him being there was vague. He wracked his brain for answers, but only seemed to stir up the multitude of miniature doozers within his head, and God wouldn't Dean laugh at that. Sam a grown man still thinking about little Fraggle Rock muppets. Dean, oh God, the mention of his name brought fear into his soul. If he was here in a hospital, was Dean too? He tried to get his mind to work again, ignoring the pounding each thought brought him, and the agony that flooded through him when he remembered. Dean wasn't with him, he'd left his brother at that roadside table, and that knowledge brought him more pain than any of the aches he could feel; the neediness he always felt when hurt or ill crippling him.

He winced, as he brought his arm up to shield his eyes as tears fell, his shoulder protesting the movement, and the pinch of an IV letting itself be known. Just what the hell had happened? How did he get here? His heart stopped, his breath catching in his throat as a door opened and another smell teased his senses, a smell he hadn't sensed in five years, a smell that envisioned feelings of love and warmth, a smell that brought everything crashing back, a smell that was pure Jess.

"Jess?" He rasped out, as he tried and failed to see out of eyes that wanted to slam shut every time he tried to open them. "Please." He added when no answer was forthcoming. "Please, I know that you are there, I can smell you. Please don't leave me again." He cried, as his emotions overflowed, his heartbeat increasing, and his body threatening to shut down. He started to try and get out of the bed, needing, wanting to get to her, only to fall back in agony as his body protested every movement. He gasped for air, his back arching off the bed, his hands clutching at the thin sheet that covered his otherwise naked body, her name falling from his lips, until at last he felt the touch he had missed for so long, the touch he had so long wanted to feel, heard the voice that had never failed to calm him and comfort him before, felt the lips so familiar to him press upon his own.

"Calm down Sam, please calm down, you'll only do more damage. Go to sleep my love."

"I don't want to." His eyes battling to open once again. His breath catching in his throat as he finally succeeded and saw the beautiful vision before him.


"I'm afraid that you wont be here when I wake up." Sam whispered out as he finally began to succumb to the pain.

"I'll be here Baby."

"Promise?" Sam begged

"I promise, now go to sleep." Jess replied, taking Sam's hand within her own, whilst her other brushed at his hair, knowing from the past how much comfort this always gave him. She let loose the breath she had been holding as his own breathing finally deepened, her face a mask of worry as she thought of the pain the next few days would bring, as she thought of the explanations she would have to give.

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

A.N. . . . . . . . . . . . . So there we are Kris, the first chapter, I hope that you and everyone else reading has enjoyed it? More coming your way soon. Catch you later, Peanut x