Lol, this was a random thing inspired by my sister's dream. Heh, she woke me up in the middle of the night, almost morning, saying "Dude, I had the weirdest dream ever." So apparently, she dreamt of Stan and Kyle being dropped into another universe, where everybody was asking them faggot questions. Not that they were gay or anything, it's just that that was what the questions were referred to in there. Faggot questions. This happens to be one of them.

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, but my sister owns the faggot question.


*

Kenny and Tweek sat alone in the library, completely empty except for the sleeping librarian dozing on the front desk. Tweek was slurping down coffee, nervously twitching as he jotted down notes from his Pre-Calculus textbook, and Kenny was just lazily staring into the blank distance, resting his head on one hand.

Their entire class had gone on a fieldtrip to the Denver Botanical Gardens, as part of the Biology class curriculum, except for Kenny and Tweek. Kenny was too poor to afford the entrance fee, and Tweek was too afraid that a giant carnivorous plant would eat him alive to even think of going.

...yeah.

So now here they were, stuck in the library on the stupid suggestion that they should study, or do something productive toward their time. Uh huh. As if Kenny would ever do that.

Kenny sighed, completely bored. Tweek looked content (or as content as a twitchy, paranoid coffee-addict could be) to just sit there and actually study, but not Kenny. No, he was bored as Hell, and he needed to do something, anything. He glanced over at Tweek.

"Hey...Tweek."

"Gah!! Yeah!!" Tweek jumped a high distance in his chair, somehow managing to not spill a single drop of his coffee. Wow. Impressive.

"...y'know, the universe is everywhere, right? 'Cuz it's the universe and all."

Tweek nodded warily, unsure of where this was going. Kenny turned his full gaze on him, putting down his hand, his voice completely serious.

"Well, how do you know the universe isn't touching your dick right now?"

"What?!"

"Yeah, it could be jacking you off right now." Kenny narrowed his eyes. "You could be jizzing to the universe. Right. Now."

There was an impossible pause, then Tweek exploded in a flurry of movement, dropping everything and screeching off toward the exit, shrieking,

"Oh my God, the universe is JACKING ME OFF!!!"

Kenny watched him go, a grin on his face, holding back laughter.

Oh yeah, he wasn't bored anymore.