AN: This is my take on Violet's return in the latest episode from Violet's point of view. A major thanks to my friend Mediatorsk for betaing.
It seems like a lifetime ago. That's the thought that strikes me when I head down the metal stairs and put my two feet back onto American soil. I know I look like a brand new woman, but I don't feel new, I feel like I'm finally back to being me, not this pod-version that's been leading my life for so long. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to explain how white sandy beaches, fruity drinks with umbrellas in them and long treks through the jungle have lead to this rediscovery. Maybe it was the zen-like atmosphere of the place, maybe it was how burdens of everyday problems and responsibility were lifted, finally allowing me to breathe, to heal... Whatever it was, it helped me sort through my messy mind and take on one issue at a time. Deal with everything stress-free and at my own pace.
It hadn't been my idea to go, but I consciously chose to stay behind when the two weeks were up. I think Cooper understood why. At least he didn't give me a hard time about it, only made me promise it wouldn't be forever. Then we hugged goodbye and he boarded the bus leaving for the airport, and I was alone.
I'm not sure how many weeks have passed since then. In the jungle it doesn't matter if it's Monday, Thursday or Sunday, no day is ever the same, and you get a bit disoriented by the end of your stay. Even now as I stand outside the airport, hailing a cab, I'm not sure what day it is. I must have passed by a dozen or more newspaper stands and I wasn't even curious enough to check. It's not something that's on my mind. Not the day, not the time. I am in the moment of now, and now entails giving the cab driver an address, his address.
I don't know what awaits me when I get there, if he'll even be home. All I know is that there are two people I need to see, and for once in my life, none of them are Cooper. I have no plan, nor do I have a speech prepared. All I have is me and the hope that I will be enough.
I had almost forgotten what it's like to feel nervous. As I pay the cab driver and look up at his well lit house, a clear sign someone's home, I'm shivering. Leaving was never the hard part; coming back is, facing everything I've been hiding from is, and I'm about to do both. My feet feel heavy like they're made out of lead, and each step demands complete determination. I shake so much I miss the door bell on my first attempt, but I get it right the second time.
I don't think anything could've prepared me for how I would feel looking at his face again. I can't even describe it. He looks... good... shocked, which is to be expected, I guess. Most of all, he's just... Pete... the man that I didn't expect to, but inadvertently ended up falling in love with. I smile and press out a choked up, "Hi..."
He looks at me, his eyes taking in my full appearance. I don't know if he's doing it to avoid looking me in the eyes, or if he needs to make sure it's me standing in front of him. "Violet," he says. He's convinced.
"Yeah," I smile. I don't know what it is I'm about to say, just that I need to say something. "I came straight from the airport... And..." And that is when I realize he's not alone. My eyes wander over to the right and the sight literally knocks the wind out of me. He hasn't just moved on, he's made a whole new family. Him, our son... and Addison.
It strikes me how natural she looks, holding my child, like a mother would, like I should have so long ago. Lucas seems very comfortable in her arms. He trusts her. This isn't recent. She's been doing it for a while. I wonder how long, but I don't ask. It's not my place. They are a family, and I'm intruding. My eyes drop and I make the one request I still have somewhat a right to make.
"I wanna see Lucas." I try to hide my hurt when I look back up. It's not really his fault, and I shouldn't put this on him. Or her. They can't help it if they've fallen in love. I have to respect that, no matter how much it hurts.
"I, um... I'll just."
I turn around and walk away. I pass the bags the cab driver has left on the sidewalk. It's just clothes anyway, a few bags of coffee, some tea, a hat for Lucas... I can get them later. I've rounded the corner before I hear him call out, "Violet..." and I feel a hand touch my shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, I turn around. His expression is hard to read. There's no way of telling whether he thinks of my coming back as a good thing or not.
"She's not his mother..." he finally says. "She's..."
"Your girlfriend," I finish.
He looks down, almost shameful. "Yeah..." he says.
I swallow hard and nod. "Yeah..." I understand.
AN: Not exactly the ending I wanted to write, but it's one the story dictated. Maybe I will give this a sequel or two to bring it around.