Disclaimer: not mine

A/N: No idea where this came from, but let's see where it goes! First up, ENVY.

Title: Seven Deadly Sins

Summary: Various BTVS-characters and their seven deadly sins. Multiple characters per sin, and multiple sins per character. Drabble-y.

Chapter 1: 'That Will Never Be Me (Envy)'

Spike, post Fool for Love, pre Into The Woods (season 5)

It stings every time I see them together. Her and Captain Cardboard. Walkin' around in the sunlight, in front of her friends, the way she never will with me. Doesn't matter that she doesn't love him. She thinks she does, and he either believes it or pretends he does. I could kill him. Well, not could; stupid bloody chip. I would, though.

I know she'll never love me. Even if he dropped dead of heart failure today, and she turned to me for comfort (don't bloody know why she would), it wouldn't be love. It'd be her using me. I know that. I know it deep in my bones.

I'm a monster. That's all I am to her. That's all I'll ever be.

She wants a human, someone who can stand with her day and night, light and dark. Not for always and eternity, but for life. She wants an actual man.

That will never be me.


Xander, post Entropy (season 6)

I've lost everything. The girl of my dreams, who I really do love, hates me. I really think she'd kill me if she could.

She kind of already has.

Why is it that the girls I care about most (in that way, I mean) turn to the same guy for comfort? And why isn't that guy me? Why is it the undead guy who tried to kill us multiple times? Why does that son-of-a-bitch not only get Anya, but Buffy?

I know Buffy won't ever love me. I'm just the dorky friend. I've accepted it, and as long as she's happy, so am I.

But she's not happy.

And Anya. I love her so much. I know I shouldn't have left her that day, but I was panicking, and I didn't want to turn into my dad, and…. And now she's turning to him? To Spike? Why do they both turn to him? Why is he the comfortador?

That will never be me.


Faith, This Year's Girl (season 4)

I could kill her. Right now. I really could.

Stupid bitch. Isn't it enough that she tried to kill me? Ruined my life? Killed my father-figure, cheesy as that sounds?

No. No, it's not enough.

No, she has to get a brand-spankin' new life. Upgraded friends, upgraded school, upgraded boyfriend. Trade in Wolf-Boy and Bitch-Girl for a Witch and an Ex-Demon. Swap the now-exploded high school for a shiny new college campus. And exchange the Undead Eternal Lover that she tried to kill me over for a freakishly tall, standard-issue military boy with no problems going out during the day.

She has this life. I have stolen clothes and this shiny new toy from my one friend. But even if it works… I'm the Dark Slayer, she's the Light Slayer.

That will never be me.


Cordelia, post Graduation Day part 2 (season 3)

I'm not sorry to be leaving Sunnydale. I mean, there's nothing here. No chance at fame, barely any shoes….

OK, so there's something.

Buffy Summers and the rest of them.

I never thought I'd be jealous of her. She's got a crap-tastic life, after all. Doomed love, no way out of Sunnydale, major skincare issues.

But she has friends who actually give a damn about her.

Harmony and the others were OK, I guess. I mean, they could be annoying, but they were there when I needed to talk about clothes or hairstyles. Anything not related to vampires.

After everything with Xander and Willow and Spike and the rebar through my stomach, I chucked the Scoobies. Didn't want anything to do with them.

But they all stuck by her through everything. Through the Angelus craziness, through her run-away phase…. She has friends who will never bail on her.

That will never be me.


Willow, early-mid season 3 (couldn't find the exact episode)

OK, it's not that I don't like Faith. She seems really… nice? Enthusiastic about Slaying? I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say. The point is, it's not that I hate her.

I just hate that she's taken my place as Buffy's best friend.

I barely see Buffy anymore. She's always out patrolling with Faith, or hanging out with Faith, or training with Faith, or going to the Bronze with Faith. Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith. It's starting to drive me a little bit batty.

I'm not jealous, you know. I'm not. OK, maybe I am, a bit. But it's just, Faith can keep up with Buffy on patrolling. She can fight just as well as Buffy. She kicks ass. She's tough, and she knows it. She can be scary.

That will never be me.


Anya, post-Selfless (season 7)

So now I'm human again, and I have D'Hoffryn after me. It was probably the right choice, but I can't help thinking it's not safe. Because I'm gonna die.

I wish I could know what the best thing to do is. I never had this problem before I lost my powers. Before I became human. Before Xander.

Buffy always seems to know what the best plan is. Even if she's really just flailing along, she makes it seem like she has a clue. She seems competent, in control.

I bet she lives through this. I bet I don't.

I bet she has a great life, with lots and lots of sex, and money, and chocolate, and all the Slaying she wants. I bet she gets everything. I bet she'll be happy.

That will never be me.


Buffy, any point in the series

As much as I love my friends, I know we're different. Too different. They don't understand what it means to be a Slayer. I'm not sure I do either, but I do know that it means I'm different. I hate to say it, but it means I'm better than them. They can't do what I do, feel what I feel.

But they're going to have normal lives. They'll meet some special someones, fall in love, get married, have kids. They'll grow old, and die in bed, surrounded by fat grandkids. They're going to have long, happy, healthy lives.

That will never be me.


A/N: Well. That was different. Next up, PRIDE! Any suggestions? And I'm going to do the Shameless Author Beg: PLEEEEASE REVIEW!!!