Disclaimer: not mine

A/N: LUST! And, sadly, the end. I had lots of fun with these drabbles. Drabbles are more fun to write than chapter-fics. And yes, it's very different, but LUST is usually two-sided in BTVS-world. So these drabble-thingies are too. Plus, I was kind of on Nyquil when I wrote a lot of this… being plague-ridden sucks. So that's why it's odd.

Chapter 7: 'I Want… (Lust)'

Buffy and Angel/Angelus, Surprise/Innocence (season 2)

'I want this. I want him. I don't care if I'm 'not ready'. I know what I want, and what I want, is Angel.'

'I don't deserve her. I really don't. But I love her, and I want this, and I want her.'

'Oh, God. There's no possible way this could be bad. Nothing this good could be bad.'

'I haven't felt this good in so long….'

'I love him. I love Angel more than… more than I'll ever love anyone. I want to be with him forever.'

'Oh God. Oh God. This isn't good. Oh no. No, no, no no nononono….'

'I love him. I love Angel. I want to always have my Angel with me.'

'I'm free. Free of that nagging bitch of a soul. Free to do whatever I want.'

'I want…'

'I want….'


Willow and Kennedy, The Killer in Me through Chosen (season 7)

'I don't love her. Not like I loved Tara.'

'She's so beautiful. I think I'm in love with her.'

'We'll probably die tomorrow. Is it wrong to be looking for… for companionship on what might be the last night of my life? I don't think so.'

'I don't think she loves me. Not yet, anyway.'

'If I can't have Tara, I don't think I really want anyone else. Not the same way I wanted her.'

'But I can make her love me. If I have enough time… but we don't have any more time. Tomorrow we're taking on the First. We might die tomorrow.'

'Oh, Tara. I miss you so much. I love you.'

'Is that the reason she's with me? Because we might die?'


'I don't care. I still want her. All of her.'

'I want…'

'I want….'


Riley and Buffy, pre-Into the Woods (season 5)

'I love her. I love her. She's everything I ever wanted in a girl. She's tough, and brave, and beautiful. I love her.'

'Riley's… sweet. And it's nice, because he has a pulse, and he can go outside in daylight. It's a nice change from my usual.'

'I would do anything for her. I left the Initiative for her; I defied my friends and family for her.'

'I care about him, I really do. He's a great guy.'

'All I ask for in return is for her to let me in. With everything that's going on, I just feel like she's shutting me out.'

'But I can't depend on him the way I want to. I can't depend on anyone. I have to be strong. I have to be the dependable one, not the depender. God, that word sounds weird now.'

'I want her to trust me like she used to. I want her to let me back in.'

'I want someone I can rely on, but I can't have that. I want someone who will just do what I say, without needing an explanation. I guess I don't want a boyfriend. What do I want?'

'I want…'

'I want….'


Willow and Xander, Homecoming through Lovers' Walk (season 3)

We know it's wrong. We're both in committed relationships, and we both love our respective partners.

And yet, here we are again.

In the library, sneaking illicit smoochies.

Very wrong. Very very wrong.

'Oz. I love Oz. I don't want to hurt him.'

'I think I love Cordelia. I know I care about her. I don't want to hurt her either.'

And yet, even with thoughts like these, we find ourselves playing footsie under the table, while our significant others sit right in front of us.

"I think we're going to hell."

"Right there with you."

But it doesn't change anything.

'I want…'

'I want….'


Spike and Buffy, OMWF through As You Were (season 6)

'I love her. I love her. I know she doesn't love me, and she probably never will, but I don't care.'

'I don't love him. But he loves me. He wants me. He makes me feel again, even if it's not really the best feelings that I feel. At least there's something.'

'I may not have a soul, but I still love her with everything I have. Granted, that might not be much, these days, but it's what I've got. And it's all hers.'

'In some ways, I kind of hate him. I don't love him, or really even like him. I do hate him, in some ways. With everything I have. Which isn't much, these days.'

'I know this won't last. I have to take what itty bitty scraps she throws me. No matter how much it stings.'

'It makes me feel dirty, afterwards. After the… good part, I mean. I don't want to feel dirty. I mean, I want to feel, but not this.'

'I love her. I really love her. I want her. She's everything to me. But she can't see that. I wish she could.'

'There's no real love here. Not on my part, anyway. But I do… want.'

'I want…'

'I want….'


Joyce and Giles, Band Candy, Earshot, and The Body (seasons 3 and 5)

It was straight up lust, is what it was. Two teenagers (sort of), on their own. Lust is just… well, it tends to happen. Sometimes.

And yes, they both regretted it for months afterwards. Buffy finding out was especially awkward. But it happened, so they accepted it and moved on.

But two years later, when she died all too young, he finds himself remembering her. Remembering that night, without the embarrassment that comes with realizing you slept with someone while under some kind of influence.

And he realizes that he needed her that night, and that she'd probably needed him. He had still been grieving for Jenny, and she had still been hung up over Hank. One mad romp (or two) on a police car was enough to shake them both out of their ruts.

And he is grateful to her, and he toasts her memory, and prepares to protect her daughters to his last breath.

As he drinks, he remembers that night again.

'I want….'


A/N: TA-DAA! Nice long one. Yes, the Giles/Joyce and Willow/Xander bits were formatted differently. That was intentional. Not sure why, but I wanted to. And those are BTVS's Seven Deadly Sins! Thanks for reading/reviewing/favorite-ing! You guys made my week!

A/N2: OK, so I just reread this and I feel the need to jump up and down squee-ing, except with words. I'm actually really proud of this one! Lots of parallels and subtleties (if I do say so myself). If you're bored, try to find them! Because it's not just all sex-LUST. Some of it is LUST for other things, like freedom-to-kill-things (Angelus), or the-ability-to-feel (Buffy). I am inordinately proud of this chapter. And I just felt like telling you that. Damn Nyquil! Seriously, being sick is not fun. OK, done rambling now. HAPPY FRIDAY!