Disclaimer: Don't own SP.

Pairing: Cartman/Kyle.

Rating: T

Warnings: Contains frottage and dirty talk. Pretty light in this chapter, but still. The really dirty stuff is next chapter.

A/N: God, you people are going to think that I'm fucking insane. Okay. So. This was originally a short little thing that I started writing, half to get out of a slump I was in, half to be a tease. But then I kept going with it and it turned into... this. *gulps* Um... yeah. I'll say right now that none of this was easy for me. It's the first time I've written anything remotely sexual, especially between Cartman and Kyle, and it was very... very hard. Yes, I can hear all of you pervs laughing at that right now. ;D Anyway, I'm not lying when I say that I shocked myself with this entire thing. Mostly with the next chapter, but with the end of this one, too. You'll understand it when you read it all. I won't blame any of you if you say that this is something you would have never expected from me. I won't blame you at all.

So... without any further delay... I give you the kinkiest, dirtiest Kyman story I've ever written. Hope you enjoy it. ;)

Snow. It was today's forecast, and he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand it, and he couldn't stand this town. It was always the same. Ice on the roads, the townspeople driving like motherfucking idiots as if they had never seen ice before in their life; slipping and sliding down the street until they ran into the car in front of them, then having to assess the damage they caused that was a result of their carelessness.

That's why he decided to walk to school everyday.

It certainly was a whole lot easier. It wasn't like his mother had bought him a car, anyway. In her eyes, he wasn't ready to drive one yet; not mature enough to. Though... he supposed he would never be mature enough in her eyes.

Still, he shrugged it off like it was nothing, continuing on his way down the deserted sidewalk. Long ago, when he had first started doing this, he had managed to find a path that was not only free of sliding cars but also a shortcut to his school. It had ended up working out very nicely for him, and it would have been perfect if it wasn't for one thing. Or... one person for that matter.

Eric Cartman.

The same fat ass that had ridiculed him, teased him all of the years of his life took the exact same path to school as he did. It sickened him. It truly sickened him. The one time, the one moment of the day that he believed he had away from the racist asshole was, of course, filled with his presence. Something that made him believe -as strange as it was even for South Park- that someone somewhere was bent on sticking them together just for the sake of amusement. And what got him even more was the fact that Cartman waited for him each day. It was like he wanted to walk with him, just so he could get in his bit of insults before they parted at school.

Kyle found it all strange, but he saw no reason to stop it. After all, he was so used to the banter now that he just let it roll off his back. Besides, from what he could tell, Cartman's insults were starting to get a little dry. Empty almost. Kyle could almost guess what was up with this, too – as it was pretty damned obvious – but, again, he made no move to stop it. He and Cartman both knew the both of them were gay – Cartman actually being bisexual – and they also both knew that Kyle would never give Cartman a chance in hell so long as he kept bringing the insults. And though Kyle knew that his cooperation with Cartman's bigotry was only fueling the fire that was their odd chemistry, he made no move to stop that either.

He approached the yield sign where Cartman waited for him every morning. As usual, he was leaning against the pole, staring at Kyle carefully as he approached him.

"Jew." Cartman acknowledged simply, not moving from his spot.

"Fat ass." Kyle responded dryly, walking past Cartman as he always did.

It had become almost like a ritual, where Cartman would only move to follow Kyle after they exchanged their usual greeting and Kyle walked past him. Cartman pushed himself off of the post, his arms still crossed against his chest as he began to walk leisurely behind Kyle. It was normal for him to keep a distance of a few feet, and even though this should have scared Kyle shit-less, it didn't. As definitive a history that Cartman had of pulling tricks on Kyle, he for some reason saved them until they arrived at school. Kyle guessed it was perhaps for show in the eye of the public, but his guess was really as good as any, and there was certainly no need to ask Cartman about it. When it came to them, some things were better left unsaid.

Their mornings together varied. Some mornings they would talk, chat, and banter with each other, and other mornings they said nothing at all. This morning in particular was a silent one. Kyle didn't mind as he was perfectly content with not having to hear Cartman's insults until they arrived at school. The silence gave him a good time to think about various things he had no other time to think about, and it made him feel as if his and Cartman's relationship was actually human, and not some strained friendship gone wrong that served only as a source for them to vent their anger.

Kyle blinked and looked up at the sky as he continued to stroll along, his hands stuffed snugly in his jacket. Clouds were all he could see as he looked up, and he faintly wondered if it was going to snow. He hated walking in the snow as much as he hated walking in the rain. Cartman had jested once that he hated the snow only because of the fact that he was a Jew, and Jews couldn't tolerate the cold to save their life. At the time Kyle had punched him in the face for making such a remark, but now he was beginning to wonder if it was really true.

He shivered and pulled his jacket tighter together, feeling Cartman's eyes on his back each time he took a step. For a moment he contemplated looking back to see if he was okay, but he was interrupted as he felt his feet slip underneath him. He yelped as he fell face first onto the ground, his legs twisting as he tried to sustain his fall. He collided with the sidewalk, a sharp pain going up from his right knee to his thigh.

In a flash, Cartman was running up to his side, kneeling down with a frown on his face. "You okay?" he asked softly with a small amount of... was that concern Kyle heard in his voice?

Kyle winced as he felt the pain shoot up his thigh again, and he ground out, "No. My... my leg."

"Let me see." Cartman said calmly, pressing a hand against Kyle's thigh. Kyle yelped and jerked away, frowning deeper.

Breath hissed out of Kyle's clenched teeth as he felt his leg begin to throb violently. He could barely stand the pain before... Cartman's light touch only seemed to make it worse.

Cartman watched Kyle wince in pain, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at the injury. He took in a deep breath and let it out, saying to Kyle in a firm voice, "Pants off."

Kyle was snapped right out of his thoughts, his eyes blinking uncontrollably as he looked at Cartman incredulously. "What?!" he exclaimed. God... he could tell that Cartman liked him, but wasn't this going a little bit too far?!

Cartman rolled his eyes. "I said take them off. I need to see how bad your leg is."

"Can't you just roll my pants leg up?!" Kyle barked, trying in vain to scoot away from Cartman.

Cartman shook his head with another sigh, pointing at Kyle's jeans. "It's not so easy when your jeans are wrapped around your leg as tightly as fucking saran wrap."

Kyle frowned, seeing that Cartman was undeniably right. He sighed and shook his head, though, looking up at Cartman for a compromise. "Look, can't you just carry me or something? I mean, school's not that far-"

"No." Cartman said rather quickly, grabbing Kyle's wrists in one of his large hands. "Look, if you won't do it, I will. Hold still."

Kyle's breath caught in his throat as Cartman pinned his hands up above his head, the other hand pushing up his jacket so that it could reach his belt. His mind was frozen completely as Cartman placed his hand on the hem of his pants, ready to take the belt off; Kyle would have kicked the fat ass off if his good leg wasn't frozen stiff in shock.

"Goddammit, Jew..." Cartman breathed as he furiously began to work on Kyle's belt buckle, "Why'd you have to wear a goddamn belt today...?"

By now, Kyle was going insane. His blush didn't just creep up on his cheeks; it flared full force. The blood rushed all around his body in a frenzy until it settled equally in two separate places: up in his face and down between his legs. He kept on telling himself that this shouldn't have been affecting him at all. Really, this was Cartman. Cartman. He wasn't supposed to be... so.... He couldn't even bear to think it without fear of throwing up. And he sure as hell didn't want to throw up on Cartman. If he did, he would probably beat Kyle up for it, and Kyle sure as hell didn't want to find out if he was a masochist or not. Not with Cartman.

"Fucking Jew..." Cartman muttered angrily, finally unlatching the belt and pulling it apart. Kyle stiffened as Cartman reached for the hem of his pants, unbuttoning the button and zipping the zipper down. Finally, he began to tug the pants gently down.

Kyle's mind screamed for him to calm down. There was no fucking reason to be excited about this. Not in that way. No. Just... no. This was fucking Cartman. Yeah, Kyle had to admit that even though he was still an arrogant asshole who did nothing more than throw insults at him, he was pretty fucking attractive. Maybe not the most attractive guy in the world... Kyle could possibly find better looking ones. Still, Cartman was good-looking, no doubt about it. He wasn't exactly the fat ass he still insulted him as; his weight had settled between fat and muscle. His body was still of a... well, big-boned build, but it was distributed more evenly in terms of fat. For example, his biceps, Kyle noticed, were practically breaking the sleeves of his shirt in half the way they were bulging and contracting as they moved. Kyle could notice their incredible girth, their every vein, and he just...


The way he was pinning his wrists against the sidewalk... in one fucking hand. One hand that he bet was so fucking skilled and talented; one hand that could do so many things to him. Dominating things... pleasurable things... things to give him the release he so needed right now...


Cartman pulled Kyle's jeans down enough to where he could inspect his swelling leg. He winced, noticing that it was already bruising. Damn, Kyle was weak. Still, there was nothing he could do about it except get Kyle to the nurse at school and have them look it over. It was way worse than he thought it would be. Kyle was in pretty bad shape-


Cartman's ears perked up as he heard Kyle let out another small whimper, and he looked at the boy's face immediately. "Kahl, what's wrong now?" he asked, blinking at the facial expression Kyle was wearing. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were closed, and his mouth was open slightly, allowing short puffs of breath to escape as he panted slightly. "What, did I do something wrong?" he asked again, pulling his free hand away from Kyle's thigh so as not to touch it again. He searched Kyle's face for an sign of pain but he found none. This confused him and the only thing he could think of to do was to yell at Kyle. "Well? Answer me, you stupid Jew!"

Kyle's eyes shot up to meet Cartman's in a dark, lustful glare. "Oh, I'll give you an answer, asshole." he growled, jerking his arms down to throw Cartman off his balance.

Cartman reacted just the way Kyle had expected and wanted him to. He jumped and let go of Kyle's wrists in surprise, not having enough time to react as Kyle jumped onto him, pinning him on the sidewalk under his smaller and much skinnier body. Kyle didn't waste a second mashing his lips against Cartman's, biting at his lower lip and shoving his tongue inside of his mouth the second Cartman opened it. He let out a predatory growl as he ground his hips against Cartman's, breathing heavily through his nose as he continued to ravish him.

Considering that this was one of his dreams come true, it wasn't surprising that when Cartman finally realized what was happening he responded eagerly, pushing his hips up to increase the friction between him and Kyle. He let out a groan as Kyle pressed harder against him; all he could think to reply to that was to grab Kyle's hips and slam them down even harder against him so that he could get the best out of it. Seriously, if Kyle insisted on starting this, he was going to help him finish it.

Kyle soon jerked his lips away from Cartman's, and took a second to pant from the heat of it all, his heart pumping in his chest as he continued to grind down against Cartman. His eyes locked again with Cartman's in a lustful gaze, his bruised, wet lips and injured leg the last things on his mind. Before he could wonder who was going to make the next move, he was jerked around and slammed back against the sidewalk again, in the same exact position as he was before, wrists and all. This time, though, Cartman had different intentions.

An involuntary moan escaped from between Kyle's lips as Cartman bit down on his neck. The heat was so overbearing and because his mind was so fogged over with lust, all he could do in response was jerk his hips up to meet with Cartman's once again. He let out a light whimper when Cartman purposefully pulled his hips away so that Kyle couldn't create the wonderful friction he was now craving. However, his suffering was short-lived as he soon felt Cartman's hand against his crotch, rubbing him with the most delightful, wonderful pressure. It was the perfect combination: Cartman's skilled hand rubbing his clothed erection while his mouth continued to nip and suck at his neck. He would have been perfectly fine with the silence they were currently enveloped in – since this was one of their quiet days – but he couldn't say he wasn't against Cartman speaking to him, especially with what he said next:

"Who's in control now, Jew boy?"

Kyle moaned his loudest moan yet, bucking his hips into Cartman's hand desperately. "Cartman..." he whispered in a needy voice, gasping for breath as Cartman began to nibble at his ear. God, he was so fucking close...

"What, Jew?" Cartman growled, slowing his hand just to be a tease. "What do you fucking want?"

Kyle swallowed, growling in frustration as he bucked up again, prompting Cartman to continue his... amazing-ness. Shit, his thoughts were so fucking incoherent it wasn't even funny. "You know what I want." He hissed, bucking up once more. A scream of frustration almost tore from his throat as Cartman pulled his hand away; he was quickly satisfied again as the fat ass replaced his hand with the grinding of his hips again.

"No, I don't actually." Cartman snarled darkly, a wicked smirk evident on his face as he sneaked his hand up to Kyle's jacket zipper, pulling it down slowly. He ground his hips again, reveling in the delicious sound Kyle made as a result. "And if you don't tell me what it is, I'll leave you to finish the job alone."

...God. Kyle had never hated Cartman more than he did now. He bared his teeth, his glazed eyes piercing into Cartman's as he began to feel himself sweat. A gasp escaped his lips again when he felt Cartman's hand slip under his shirt and brush lightly across his chest. It was so good he couldn't stand it anymore. And as much as he hated giving in...

"Fuck me..."

Cartman smirked but pretended like he didn't hear Kyle's request. "I'm sorry. What was that, Kahl?" he asked smugly, drawing Kyle's name out on his tongue.

"You. Heard me, asshole." Kyle snarled, his upper lip twitching in anger.

"No. No, actually I didn't." Cartman smirked even wider, reveling in the power he was currently possessing. He bucked against Kyle again, feeling himself grow harder as the boy let out a strangled moan. Leaning down, he breathed his command out against Kyle's ear.

"Tell me."

Kyle continued to pant, about to break from the suspense of it all. "I said," he ground out. "Fuck. Me." To emphasize his point, he bucked up against Cartman again, ignoring the pain in his leg. The raw desire was too overwhelming for him to care.

Cartman chuckled, brushing his hand over Kyle's chest again. "Beg me." he breathed.

Kyle blinked, not believing this. "What?" he deadpanned, his anger rising.

"You heard me, Jew." Cartman grinned, biting Kyle's ear lobe harshly. "Beg for it. Beg for it like the little whore you are."

Kyle winced, squeezing his eyes shut in defiance. "No fucking way." he snarled, shaking his head. There was no way in hell he was begging Cartman for anything. Not even sex. It wasn't worth it. It just wasn't...

Cartman frowned, taking his hand out from under Kyle's shirt. He grabbed the boy's chin, sharply jerking it so that he would look at him. "I don't think you understood me," he seethed, "I said beg for it."

...Maybe it was worth it.


It was.

Kyle was hot. Kyle was bothered. And Kyle wanted it. Now.

He swallowed, his heart pounding in his chest. He looked Cartman in the eye, his eyes half-lidded in nothing but pure need. "Please..." he whispered. "Please, Cartman."

"Please what?" Cartman snarled back, loving every second of this.

"Please... fuck me." Kyle panted, bucking his hips several times. "Fuck me raw. Fuck the shit out of me. Cartman, please..."

That was all Cartman needed to hear. He licked his lips before nipping at Kyle's lower lip, his free hand now reaching for his boxers, fingers slipping easily under the hem. "You do realize that you're going to miss first period."

"Like I fucking care." Kyle breathed before ravishing Cartman again. "Now take me somewhere before I have you do it right here on this motherfucking sidewalk."

Cartman chuckled darkly, pulling his hands away from Kyle and slipping them under his back. He picked him up with ease and stood up, heading quickly in the direction of his home. "If you say so, Jew."


This was going to be one fucked up morning.