A/N: Hello and welcome to Operation Wesker! This story will be written by me and Shadowno. He writes the outline and I just add a bunch of random stuff. So! Sit back, grab some popcorn, maybe a slurpee and enjoy the show! XDD
Disclaimer: Hell to the no! We do not own anything Resident Evil related! Okay, I lied, we have the games but nothing else. *Prisonerksc2-303 hides Wesker shrine* XDDD
The S.T.A.R.S. Office would soon be crowded with all the members having gathered for a briefing on their newest assignment. Once everyone arrived, Enrico Marini, leader of the Bravo Team and second in command of S.T.A.R.S., stood up.
"Everyone, as you know, tomorrow is a very special day. Starting at 6 a.m. sharp, we have a very important mission. Albert Wesker's birthday."
"So?" Joseph Frost asked.
"Well, we're going to throw a party for him," Enrico said.
"What? Why? What has Wesker ever done for us?" Joseph said, standing up.
Enrico rolled his eyes, before pulling his pistol out and shooting Joseph in the head.
"And now, once again, you're a useless character who died before the plot even started," Enrico said, holstering his weapon.
None of the other S.T.A.R.S. seemed to even notice the death of the B character, save Brad Vickers who did what he does best, and ran away crying like a pansy. Enrico decided to go on with the briefing.
"Now, most of us will stay here-"
"N-n-o...I...willnot....die...this...time!" Joseph said, attempting to stand up bullet wound and all.
Enrico pulled out his gun and shot Joseph, who fell to the floor once again, kissing the tiny puddle of blood he left from the first bullet. Still no one noticed the "B" character being put out of his own misery.
"Now! Where was I? Ah, yes. Most of us will stay here to set up for the party, but one of us-"
"I..refuse....to...die...you...bastard!" Joseph said, crawling on his hands and knees, leaving a trail of blood behind him.
"Really? OHRLLY, Joseph?" Enrico asked a little annoyed now. He grabbed Barry's prized Magnum and blasted away at Joseph not once, not twice, but three times. With each blast, poor Joseph was pushed back, wiping his own trail of bloody mess he left behind before.
"NOW! Is there anyone ELSE who wants to interrupt me?" Enrico shouted, waving the powerful Magnum in the air at the confused and very scared group of S.T.A.R.S. members.
"No one? How about you? On the floor with all the bullet holes in your body?" Captain Marini asked as the tip of his boot nudged Joseph to make sure the fool was dead.
"GOOD! Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted! Most of us will stay to set up, some will pick things up that will need to be picked up, but there is one task that is very important. One of us will have to pick up Albert in the morning, and show him a good time all day, bringing him to the party tomorrow night. Any volunteers?" the Captain asked.
Chris Redfield's hand shot up in the air, waving wildly like a five year old on a Kool Aid sugar high.
"Anyone else?" Enrico asked, trying to ignore Redfield.
"Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me, meee," Chris said, raising both his hands and pointing at himself.
"Jill, can you take care of that?" Enrico asked.
Chris Redfield's eyes twitched as they flicked back and forth between Jill and Enrico. Thinking quickly, he jumped to his feet, almost knocking Jill off of hers as she attempted to accept her assignment.
"She can't, she'll.... be....in the hospital!" Chris pratically yelled.
"Huh?" Jill asked, looking at him confused.
It was at this point that Chris kicked at her from the side, connecting with her knee and snapping it in two. Jill screamed, falling to the floor and writhing in pain.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" She cried, as he held her knee in pain.
"I'd be glad to take the assignment for her though, sir," Chris said, ignoring Jill, who now began pleading for someone to call an ambulance.
"Um, sure I guess..." Enrico said, staring at Chris like he was a madman.
"YES! Don't worry sir, I'll do you proud!" Chris said, pumping his fist into the air while everyone else looked at him eyes wide and mouths open including the very dead Joseph who refused to die! He pumped his fist so hard that he ended up knocking Barry, Rebecca, and Richard out without even knowing it.
"Well, I think that concludes our briefing. Dismissed! Oh, I need a drink," Captain Marini said, stepping on Joseph who howled in pain.
Singing to himself, Chris pratically skipped out of the room, delighted that his job tomorrow was to spend time with the hunk of sexiness known as Albert Wesker. His Weskipoo would have the best birthday ever tomorrow, that Chris would see to personally. He could pratically hear his words now.
Chris, you sexy man you. Thank you so much for such a wonderful birthday. Would you like to spend the night? I need someone to rub lotion on my back, the Wesker inside Chris' head said, handing him a bottle of lotion.
Oh yes, that next day would be fun indeed.
A/N: Well, thats chapter one of Operation Wesker XDD. Thanks so much for taking the time to read the craziness XDD. Many more laughs...well, IF it made you laugh in any way at all, lol. As I was saying, many more laughs to come so join us next time because believe me ladies and gentleman, you wont want to miss it, lol. Please be so kind to leave us a review of any kind! Cookies, anyone? ^_^