Author's Note: Hey guys! I have another chapter of Game Over in the works, but I took time to do a cute little oneshot for dn_kink. The prompt was "Matt/His Car" and uh...yes. This is what happened. Hope you guys find it as amusing as I did when I wrote it. Hehe. Oh, and if anyone has a oneshot request, just comment or zip me a message. I probably won't write it, but if the idea is fun enough, I might end up going for it. My writing muse is all over the place these days. Onward!

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, Matt, or the 1970 SS Chevy Camaro that Matt owns in the manga. But I would totally own the last one if I could. Trust me on that.

Warning: Matty has a pottymouth. And uh...I'm not sure if "molesting a car" should be considered a warning or not. But just in case...Warning: Matt Appreciates His Car.

"Shit," Matt growled under his breath, pulling the cherry-red Camero onto the side of the highway, gravel spraying under the wheels. He banged his fist against the wheel, wrenching the door open to inspect the damage. His left rear tire lay in shreds scattered along the asphalt behind him. He picked up a piece of rubber, cursing and dropping it quickly. The heat of the Nevada desert mixed with the 'no cops for miles' speed pushing 110 MPH had really done a number on the tire. There was no fixing it.

"Fucking hell," he swore. "And I don't have a god-damned spare. Shit! Piece of shit…" He gave the car a good kick, spinning around to angrily dial a number into his cell phone.

"Hello? Yeah, Mel, it's me. Shit…don't even ask. Look, I'm in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere on the highway about an hour from Vegas. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, now is really not the time for a lecture, man. I'm pissed off and ready to get home. Come get me, or bring me a spare tire. I don't care, just get out here, would you? Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I'll see you in an hour and a half."

He snapped the phone shut, leaning heavily against his car door, arms crossed in agitation. The heat of late afternoon beat down against his face. Groaning, he hauled himself up onto the hood of the car, lounging back against the windshield with his arms behind his head. The sunlight glinted off his goggles. He groaned in annoyance when he remembered that his DS hadn't been charged since yesterday.

"So, I'm stuck with nothing to do for a few hours. Fantastic. The radio should work, at least…"

He slid off the hood of the car and climbed inside, accidentally slamming the door on his foot. When he turned on the engine, the radio refused to pick up any stations. Growing more frustrated by the moment, he slammed his palm against the wheel, scaring himself with the loud blare of the horn.

"God damn it!" He seethed. "What? Are you out to get me today, car? What the hell did I do to you? Tch…" He trailed off, absently rubbing his hand against the wheel. The flicker of a song tried to poke its way through the static on the radio.

"What? You like this?" He jokingly asked the car, rubbing his hands sensually across the wheel. The clouds shifted overhead, and the radio signal grew a little clearer. Matt laughed to himself, leaning back in the driver's seat. "This is ridiculous…"

He slowly started massaging the door frame with nimble fingers, stroking the car's wheel with the other hand. A slow grin spread across his face. "Oh, so you do like it… You like it when I'm inside you, touching you in all those special places, don't you?"

He dropped his voice to a lower pitch, the kind of voice normally reserved for phone sex with Mello when the blonde went off on a mission without him. "You dirty little car. You love it when I'm all over you. You love it when I turn your knobs and spin your wheels. Yeah, you love it when I drive you all day and all night."

The radio station was coming in loud and clear now. Classic rock spilled from the speakers, some old Eagles song filling the interior of the car with a smooth rhythm. Matt couldn't help but shake his head in amusement. "Am I turning you on that much? Mm, I can only imagine how much you've craved this."

He began to stroke the dash board, letting his feet slide across the floorboard. He leaned over, wrapping his lips around the gear shift. He imagined how the car would shudder if it could actually feel the things he was doing with his tongue.

"Matt, you crazy motherfucker, get out of the damn car."

Matt's head shot up, a furious blush planting itself firmly on his cheeks. He had been so distracted with the car that he hadn't even noticed Mello drive up on his motorcycle, a spare tire strapped to the back. The blonde stood a few feet away, eyebrow cocked in silent ridicule of his redheaded companion. Matt slowly slid out of the car, shutting the door carefully as his mind frantically searched for some excuse as to why he was giving his car oral.

"So…care to explain what the hell you were doing?" Mello asked, arms crossed in front of his chest, the sunlight gleaming off his leather vest and matching pants.

"Not really," Matt muttered. "She uh…she liked it."

"The car?" Mello smirked. "The car liked it?"

"Um. Yeah."

"Hm." Mello paused, taking a step toward Matt. "I think I know something she'd like even more."

"What?" Matt blinked. He had expected Mello to mock him mercilessly. "What do you mean, Mel- Oh!"

Before he could spit out the question, the blonde had pushed him back onto the hood, effortlessly wrenching Matt's striped shirt over his head. The heated metal of the hood burned into Matt's bare back. He gasped in surprise, eyes focused on Mello's predatory gaze.

"Well, Matt? Think she's ever had a threesome before?"