The Dream Machine 2


On screen.

In Living room.

Chapter 1

Kakashi had somehow managed to gather the rookie nine, team twelve, the sand trio, and a few of his fellow jonin back into that large comfortable living room – some against their will. Massive bowls of popcorn lay around in random places, such as atop the television and beneath the bathroom sink. Quickly collecting one, Naruto plopped down on the carpeted floor directly in front of the screen.

A cross-armed and sulky Sasuke lounged on the love seat in the corner beside Hyuuga Neji, with Rock Lee's rubbery body somehow wedged between them.

On the couch in the center of the room sat Shikamaru, Shino, and Gaara. The stoical people had clearly arrived early and stolen all the good seats.

In a shadowy corner Kiba and Tenten quietly flirted (to Neji's dismay), and Temari found herself a seat in Shikamaru's lap (to Gaara's FURY).

Sakura, Hinata, and Ino, who had sworn off men, stood by the window, their pinky fingers linked.

Kankuro stood discreetly by the refreshments, spiking the punch. Chouji was there too, nervously stuffing potato chips into his mouth.

By the door was Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai, each sweating profusely. Kurenai was already gripping the knob.

Lastly, standing beside the television, Kakashi stroked the VCR. "I've recorded all your dreams on-"

"Yes, yes, we know the drill."

"Get to it, old man!"

Twitching slightly, Kakashi pressed the PLAY button. "Naruto's dream is first."

The blonde nervously scratched his cheek as a whirl of colors flooded the screen. He could not recall what he had dreamed about the previous night.


They lived in a dark, terrible world, one in which the sun simply refused to rise.

Naruto struggled against the guards holding his arms, but was dragged into the Hokage tower, grunting in protest. When he had been ushered into that grand office and thrown to the floor, he slowly looked up, glaring at the man seated before him. Uchiha Sasuke was perched behind the desk, wearing the pointy white Hokage hat, and staring coldly down at him.

Living room:

Naruto paled. What a nightmare! "Teme..." he growled, turning his head to glare at the Uchiha.

But Sasuke ignored him, the hint of amusement crossing his lips.


"Don't be rude," the Hokage growled. "Greet my wives!"

"Go to hell," Naruto returned, as Sakura and Hinata entered the office from a door on the right.

Both girls were dressed in skimpy, too-small sting bikinis, displaying Sakura's lean body and Hinata's voluptuous physique. They giggled as they approached the Uchiha. They looked like goddesses, their precariously tied spaghetti straps threatening to loosen at any moment.

Living room:

Naruto had instantly developed a nosebleed, as had Lee, Chouji, Kankuro, Kiba (to be slapped by Tenten), and Shikamaru (to be cuffed by Temari). Neji's eye simply twitched, and Sasuke was suspiciously clutching his face with both hands. Many of their eyes had darted hungrily to Hinata-

-whose face had turned a nasty shade of fuschia.

Sakura pushed herself off the wall, cracking her knuckles. "Naruto..."

"It wasn't me!" the blonde shrieked as her fist collided with his skull.


Upon the wall were nude portraits of women, some appearing to be at the height of orgasm. The dream Naruto and Sasuke seemed oblivious of the highly sexual atmosphere.

"So you thought you could hide from me," the Uchiha muttered, glaring hatefully down at Naruto. "But I knew I'd find you eventually," he smirked. Idly, Sasuke pulled Hinata into his lap. She giggled as his hand slid up and down her thigh.

Living room:

Hinata fainted, and Sasuke continued to clutch his face as though he had just been punched in the nose. Kankuro knocked over the punch and collapsed to the ground in a pool of blood, and Sakura had taken to strangling Naruto, whose face was slowly turning purple.

...but his nose continued to bleed...


"Throw him in jail with the others!" ordered Sasuke, casually running his tongue along Hinata's shoulder. Sakura, meanwhile, draped her arms around his neck.

"Nooo!" Naruto yelled, as he was again dragged away.

He was taken down several flights of stairs until they had reached the basements of the Hokage tower. The place was dark, damp, and stank of blood. The sound of dripping water echoed along the corridors, each which were lined with jail cells. Naruto watched the figures within them dart in and out of the shadows.

The guards stopped at a cell at the very end of the corridor, pulled out a large key, and unlocked it. Naruto snarled in indignation as he was thrown inside. The door slammed shut behind him before he could even regain his footing. "Dammit!"

"So they finally caught up with you," someone said across the cell.

Naruto slowly looked up, watching a figure exit the shadows. "Neji."

The Hyuuga was dressed only in a small loincloth, looking dirty, and pathetically abused, but his long hair draped his body, framing his face, and looking...somehow luscious.

Living room:

As Shikamaru choked on a cup of punch, producing vile choking sounds, Tenten burst into uncontrollable laughter. Sakura had paused, dropping the unconscious Naruto to observe the video, and Kiba had busied himself with fanning the comatose Hinata.

Neji simply twitched again, and Lee was captivated with the video, his eyes filling with worried tears as Sasuke eyed and shifted away from the two.

Temari unnoticeably licked her lips, and Ino stared intently at the screen.


"Why is he keeping us here!?" Naruto wanted to know.

Tears spilled from Neji's eyes. "He throws all the attractive males in jail!" he cried. "The rest are set on fire!"

Living room:

Now Sasuke was twitching, and there was a collective bout of giggles directed toward the effeminate dream-Neji. Naruto was slowly regaining consciousness. He looked dizzily at the screen.

"Why would I kill everyone but the attractive males?" Sasuke growled.

"Er...?" said Naruto, as Sakura again seized his collar.


Naruto and Neji hugged each other for several minutes, tearfully mourning the deaths of Lee, Chouj, and Shino. After gathering his bearing, Neji sniffled and dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief. "I've gathered a group of us together – me, Kiba, Asuma, and the Nara. Our escape has to be tonight."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know what, but Sasuke's planning something big..."

Living room:

Those deemed "attractive males" looked extremely uncomfortable, especially Asuma, who had awkwardly folded his arms over his chest. The others looked rather peeved.

Lee was blinking in unadulterated confusion.


"We'll use those escape pods," mentioned Neji, motioning to a collection of futuristic contraptions that were randomly sitting outside the cell, and quite possibly hadn't been there a moment before. They were small, round, and looked like single-person spaceships. "When the guards come to bring us dinner we're all gonna make a run for it. Those will take us directly to Kumo. We'll hide out there for a while."

Back in the Hokage office, there was a knock on the door.

Sasuke paused in his ravagement of Hinata's arm. "Come in," he muttered.

The door creaked open, revealing Gaara, looking impassive as ever. He too was wearing a pointy hat. He entered the room followed by the bikini-clad Ino and Tenten.

Living room:

Blood continued to ooze from several nostrils throughout the room. Men were dropping like flies.

Sakura had taken to kicking Naruto in the ribs as he curled up in a fetal position, attempting to protect his reproductive organs.


Gaara continued to watch the screen, his face completely indifferent. If he had any reaction, he did not reveal it.


Gaara immediately got to business. "You agreed to trade me Hinata for Tenten-"

"We'll get to that later," Sasuke interrupted. "I have plans for this evening," he smirked, displaying a small vial of purple liquid and beckoning Gaara over to the desk.

Over the next few hours, Naruto and Neji dwelled about their jail cell, looking beautiful and exotic. Hair hung in their eyes, and sweat rolled down their bodies...despite the seemingly cold atmosphere. Neji shook about his long mane, making it seem to almost sparkle in the...darkness. At one point, the two stared meaningfully into each other's eyes, after which a single tear rolled down Neji's cheek.

And then dinner time came.

Several prisoners attempted to escape, but were simply beaten into submission and tossed back into their cages. At the end of the line, Naruto and Neji were surprised that the Hokage had come to their cell personally.

But he wasn't baring any food.

He had brought Gaara, the malicious Kage of Suna. Both were draped in their posse of whores. Neji and Naruto stared in shock as the Kages dismissed the giggling girls, before unlocking and entering the jail cell. Sasuke smirked as Gaara crossed his arms.

The Uchiha was carrying a syringe, and Naruto eyed it suspiciously.

"I suppose it's time I revealed my master plan," the Uchiha muttered, chuckling sinisterly. "My goal is to turn all the beautiful men ugly. After years of study, my scientists have finally developed a prototype. Hyuuga, you shall be my first test subject."

Neji instantly began to scream as Sasuke and Gaara grabbed his arms and dragged him out of the jail cell. Naruto could only stare in horror as Neji was chained to a chair. Without hesitation, Sasuke stabbed him in the arm with the syringe.

The effects occurred instantaneously. Neji sprouted hair all over his body. One of his arms grew bulbous and muscular while the other remained the same. He developed a massive hunch on his back, and an elongated purple tongue. Breaking free from the chains as though they were plastic, the deformed Neji leapt onto Sasuke and bit his neck.

Sasuke screamed as he consequently began to transform as well. His skin turned pale, then green, with gray patches. He developed long buckteeth, those resembling a beaver's, and his fingers lengthened as well, and then his forehead, until he took to resembling a balding Frankenstein. He slowly looked down at himself and moaned in horror, before turning to his fellow Kage for aid.

At once, Gaara flung himself into an escape pod, badly banging his head in the process. The hatch swung closed and the pod took off.

Moaning stupidly, Neji and Sasuke turned toward a paling Naruto.

The blonde slowly backed away as the creatures closed in on him. "Noo! I don't wanna be ugly! NUUUUUUUUUUUUU...!"

Living room:

All the room's occupants had taken to twitching as the screen slowly faded to black. Even Gaara had developed a small tic beneath his eye.

Neji was secretly disturbed. After watching his body mutate like that – he was going to have nightmares about it for the rest of his life!

Sasuke was unconsciously running his hands through his hair, as if to assure himself that it was all there.

"Er...onto the next dream," said Kakashi, who was among the many eying the battered Naruto.

"Agreed!" cried Naruto, as Sakura kicked him once more in the ribs.