Her fingers are at the top of your thighs before you know it, her mouth soon follows after – and you don't know if you want this because you've never had it before. Her tongue is deep red velvet – welcoming you into her body. And you want to see where all the beautiful people live.

She has a wicked smile and a nasty tongue – you have a sweet mouth, wrapped in linen and gauze. The blood from her face is dirtying you.

You cling to her any way you can, and sometimes you wish that you had kissed back in that limo. In front of her boyfriend and her brother, in front of anyone who wanted to know that you loved her. It doesn't matter how you loved her – just that you did.

Love is love no matter how you spin it and you wish that she was back now.

Her hand is smooth with razor tips. Manicures that will never end – her hair will never get longer, her skin will never get creased up. She will never touch Logan, she will never tease Duncan – all she will do is torture you. And she won't even really do that.

She can't come back.

Justice doesn't do that – justice isn't very clean cut at all. You didn't really know you were in love with her, and maybe you wouldn't be if she wasn't dead. But she is, and she's on top of you, and you are. You think.

You love her like a hurricane, like a nightmare, like you think she's going to stay. But she's not.

Those sharp-edged fingers graze up the underside of your chest and you stop thinking so this can stop being premeditated. You swallow hard and parts of you are in her mouth. You both want her to stay – that's why you're doing this – but neither of you know how it's going to work. Neither of you know how to keep her here without the touching. It's last ditch and it won't last long enough.

Her lips close around your jaw line, tugging on the skin. You will not let a ghost steal all your life – you will not let your best friend suck all of you away. Not when you weren't allowed to keep her.

Your fingers hook around her neck, run down her back, slide in between you. You push her away forcefully – "It's your fault Lilly" – she wipes her mouth with the back of a pale hand.

Her lips were covered in glitter – now it's all over you in tiny, little smears, pieces of her engrained into your flesh. A reminder for when you wake up, when you fuck her boyfriend, when you fuck her brother, when you fuck her secret lover.

Pieces of her and disgust on her breath and all that she wants back stuck inside your body. She's a thunderstorm.

Disgust is slathered over your tongue too now – she left you and it was her own fault. Her own consequence. She stole a lot of peoples' hearts to get what she wanted, but you won't let her steal you.

She's dead and you're dreaming and she can't have you.