I apologise for harshing your Easter buzz ;) In particular, recoilandgrace's xx

Everytime she closes her eyes, she sees him.

She sees the determination and amusement and excitement shining from hazel eyes in the moonlight.
She sees him bouncing on his toes like an animal teasing its prey.
She sees the way his jacket bunches at his elbow as he points an accusing finger in Markov's face.

And she smiles, because that was Cal in his element. At his best.

But then she sees the glint of silver as the blade catches the street lamps.
She sees the spurt of red chasing after it from Cal's gut.
She sees him stagger back, pressing at the pain.

She sees the almost impressed look in his eyes; impressed that he got caught.
She sees the red stain creep over his shirt as he falls into her arms and to the ground.

She feels the cold wet gravel digging into her knees.
She feels the warmth of his blood as she applies pressure.
She feels her throat burn before she realises she's screaming for help.

She sees his teeth colour red.
She sees the spatter on his collar as he tries to speak.
She sees the pain as he utters two words through gritted teeth.


She feels him die.

She snaps her eyes open, yet more tears cascading down red raw cheeks. She wipes, smears, scrubs them away.

She wants to scream. She wants to shout. She wants to holler blue bloody murder.

She wants to sleep.

She needs to sleep.

But everytime she closes her eyes, she sees him.