Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but I poke fun at it from time to time.

Freddie and Ella x3

Once upon a time lived a boy named Freddie
Though young in years, he was five hundred already.
Freddie was sad because he had no bride
When he came out, all the girls would hide.
It wasn't his flaming hair or bright eyes they hated
But the glitter on his chest that the sun created.
Doomed to roam the world all alone,
He learned to whine, sneer, glare and groan.

As luck would have it, Freddie found his match,
And trust me fellas, she was one nice catch.
Mary Ella Sue was perfect in every way
So at night, Freddie would watch her lay.
While some would think of him as a creep
Ella loved that her stalker cared enough to peep.
They fell in love quickly like a fairy tale,
As long as Freddie controlled every detail.

Freddie and Ella looked after each other,
Freddie watched her more closely than Big Brother.
But paradise never lasts forever,
Another guy, Lacob, was also very clever.
Lacob tried to make Ella fall in love with him
But Freddie's anger was always at its brim
Instead of fighting and possibly killing,
Ella popped out a kid that was more than willing.

Happily ever after the two pedophiles were
The thought that it might be wrong never did occur.


Author's note: Oh my, Mits has gone and written something! Whaaat? Don't expect anything else from me anytime soon. I is a lazy butt. That, and I generally post on DA instead.