AN: PLEASE NOTICE: This is a Kikyou/Inuyasha/Kagome fic. If you are an Inuyasha/Kagome fan and do not like Kikyou, this fic is not for you. This fic also has strong hints of Kikyou/Kagome, which some may also not like. You have been warned.
Written for the "Favorite Pairing" theme at iyfic_contest on Livejournal. This will not be continued.
Sometimes Kagome dreams about home. She dreams about her mother, her brother, and her grandfather. It seems odd, she thinks. Where she is now they haven't even been born yet.
However, they are alive in her heart and dreams. When she wakes up with Inuyasha's strong arms holding her protectively, she smiles and revels in the memories. This is the way she honors them after leaving her time to live in the past.
Kagome has other dreams. They entertain her (with Sesshoumaru's offended face or of children that have Inuyasha's ears) and she dreams about everyone more than before. She thinks it has to do a lot with her daily work. Her life is more physical than it used to be, but she balances it by teaching the village children basic concepts; though, she tries to not disrupt the timeline as much as she can.
Yet she thinks that might be futile. Just her being here, in this era, is strange and disruptive. She thanks the gods or whatever Powers That Be for giving her this life, and for giving her Inuyasha. She thinks that whatever Powers they are, they are forgiving and kind to woman who lives her life and loves someone out of her normal time.
Then, there's Kikyou. She dreams of her and wonders if Inuyasha dreams about the tragic priestess as much she does. She no longer feels jealousy, not any more. She doesn't feel sad, either. She supposes Kikyou is at peace. They share a soul after all, but Kagome is different. She's matured since meeting Kikyou, and her body has rounded out in pleasing curves and her skin has turned dark when she works in the fields with Jinenji in the summer sun.
She doesn't mind when strangers mistake her for Kikyou anymore. She's been irritated by it before, but it happens less frequently, and people are starting to forget Kikyou. If anything, it is Kagome who they talk about now. Brave, beautiful Kagome. The strange girl who loves a hanyou. The strong priestess who protects the village.
It is Kikyou's turn to fall into the whispers of history.
There is one dream about Kikyou that Kagome has more than others. Kagome is under a spell, and she shoots an arrow at Inuyasha and pins him to a tree. Kikyou comes and frees him, and she turns to Kagome and pushes her down the well.
"You don't belong here," she says coldly, and Kagome wakes up in tears.
When Inuyasha notices her distress, Kagome just tells him she misses her family. She doesn't know how he'll react if she tells him she's dreaming of his former lover.
"I'm right, you know. You don't belong here," Kikyou says to her. Kagome hasn't dreamed of her in awhile, and one night she finds herself waking up from a dead sleep in modern times next to Kikyou on a park bench. Kikyou doesn't look at her, but she watches the children and Kagome can feel her pain - the pain of loss, the pain of never living the life of a woman or mother.
"What am I supposed to do about it?" Kagome gets hot, but Kikyou doesn't react. "The well let me come back. We belong together." Kikyou turns to her now, and Kagome looks fiercely into the woman's placid face. She feels her pain more than she sees it. Kikyou is like a looking glass of emotion, and Kagome feels ashamed. "Our souls are meant for one another."
Kikyou nods. She agrees with her, but there is still something off about her, something not right. It has to be the reason why Kikyou is invading her dreams at all.
"What does he feel like?" Kikyou asks softly. She bows her head and looks at her fingers in her lap. Kagome has never seen her so feminine, so vulnerable. Kagome gapes and stutters, not sure of her meaning until their hearts sync, and Kagome's blood heats up and she almost forgets to breathe.
Kagome blushes. "He's warm, sometimes gentle, and sometimes rough." She coughs lightly, and Kikyou smiles. She's imagining it. Kagome hears a bird singing to his mate, and she looks to the clear sky. She's never remembered the Tokyo sky being so blue before. She says, "But whatever happens, whenever we become intimate, his only thought is to please me, to make sure I'm happy."
Kagome sees Kikyou exhibit a rare smile. "I knew he would be like that."
Kagome feels Kikyou's satisfaction. The woman is grateful for Kagome's honesty, and Kagome reaches over and puts a comforting hand over Kikyou's in her lap. The woman turns to her, and for the first time since accepting Kikyou's death, Kagome feels like she's remembering her as a loving sister.
One warm summer evening, Inuyasha is restless and desperate to release some pent up energy. He holds her hands lightly above her head, tightening playfully around her wrists. He's kissing her neck, and Kagome's mind is elsewhere when his lips fall on her breasts.
"What's the matter?" he says as he stops, and Kagome can see that he hopes she's in the mood.
"Nothing, I was just thinking," Kagome says distantly.
"Heh, now is not the time to be thinking, Kagome," Inuyasha says, nipping at her chin. "Less thinking, more doing."
"I was thinking about Kikyou," Kagome says starkly, and Inuyasha instantly tenses. He peers into her eyes questioningly, almost angry.
"What the hell for?" he demands.
"I don't know, I just am," Kagome says with little aggravation. She wonders if she's killed the mood now, and she softens her tone. "I'm sorry." She lifts up her lips to his and kisses him long and deep. It's enough to take his mind off Kikyou and concentrate on her.
Kagome closes her eyes, and as his hands and lips roam her body, she lets the feelings of him sink in, and she imagines herself as Kikyou, what she'd do and where'd she want him to touch her. She's hoping that in this way, maybe Kikyou - the part of her that is still imprinted within her soul - will feel Inuyasha's touch too.
Of course, she doesn't tell him. She doesn't think he'd understand. This is a secret Kagome keeps between her and Kikyou.
The next dream she has of Kikyou, they're both standing in front of a sleeping Inuyasha pinned against Goshinboku.
"Why did you do that?" Kikyou asks her quickly. The woman doesn't sound mad or disappointed - just curious.
"I realized that you're a part of me, and that though I may be out of place in this world, I do belong here," Kagome says, and she watches as Kikyou approaches Inuyasha's sleeping form and traces her fingers lovingly down his face.
"Yes, you belong here for Inuyasha," Kikyou says, and it sounds almost mocking. Kagome shakes her head.
"Not just for him, for you," Kagome says, and she steps to Kikyou's side. "You two never got to be with one another. In me, in this way, you can."
Kikyou laughs lightly, and Kagome feels it suits her, even though the felicity is rare. "I know, but do not think we are completely the same."
"I never do," Kagome says reassuringly, and she smiles brightly as Kikyou turns to her and meets her gaze. She leans forward, near enough for their noses to touch, and she closes her eyes.
Her voice drops to a whisper as Kagome watches her. "Mmm, he is holding you know."
"Yes," Kagome says strained breath as Kikyou moves closer. Her forehead feels warm against Kagome's skin, and it's the warmest the woman has ever felt. Kagome remembers embracing her in the past when the miko needed her energy or when she needed help for her injuries. She was always so bitterly cold. This Kikyou, the one inside her heart and head, is the Kikyou she's never known.
Kikyou laughs lightly again. "He's kissing your cheek." Her voice trails off. "He's saying he loves you."
Then, Kagome sees the tears trailing down her cheeks. Kikyou sobs, and she turns to Kagome pleadingly.
Kagome nods once, and Kikyou is tilting her head. Kagome closes her eyes, and she feels Kikyou's hands grasp her meekly. Her lips touch Kagome's, similar and pliant, yet inherently different when she remembers Kikyou and her image. She can taste tears over her lips, and they appear from joy, from longing, and from the residue of slowly fading regret. Kikyou slips her tongue past Kagome's teeth - inside, and Kagome remains open, inviting as Kikyou slides within, possessive and hungry for everything she's never had, but can obtain through Kagome.
Kagome's eyes flutter open, and Inuyasha is pulling away from a long kiss. She blinks and sees him grinning at her. "Hey you, morning," he whispers happily.
She smiles, and she notices her cheeks are absent of tears, and she feels Inuyasha pull her into his lap.
"That must have been some dream you were having," he says with a chuckle. "I lean in to kiss you and you pull me down like you're awake or something."
Kagome grins at him. "Oh, yeah, well, I bet you can guess what I was dreaming about," she says with a blush.
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her, but he was still grinning. "It wasn't Sesshoumaru, was it?"
"Har har," Kagome says, punching him lightly on the arm. "Don't be silly."
He draws her closer, and she's wrapping her legs around his waist. He nuzzles her nose and inhales her scent. They fall in peaceful silence until Inuyasha kisses her again, continuing where they left off. He leads her onto her back on the bedding, pulling away her clothes, and as his hands caress over her skin, Kagome smiles as she hears an internal voice.
"Thank you," she whispers, and Kagome lets the serenity slide into her, knowing that as long as her heart fills with love for Inuyasha, Kikyou's spirit is and always will be just another part of her - cherished and appeased.