Thanks to all those who have reviewed!! Each review has made my day! In fact, they made me almost as happy – I said almost – as when Caroline made Booth and Brennan kiss...ahhhh that wasa good day! :)
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Anyway...to the story...
His phone continued to ring in his pocket. He should answer it, he knew he should. It could be something really important, he thought, like a new case. And yet, somehow, he couldn't seem to move his arm to his pocket. He felt completely immobilised, as if, for some reason, the electrical impulses which told his muscles to move weren't working.
He continued to sit still long after the ringing stopped, until eventually, the silence which surrounded him became so overwhelming that he was forced to move. He slowly stood, his muscles aching from sitting in the same position for so long, and moved towards his bedroom. Pressing play as he passed his stereo, he laid spread out across his bed; hoping sleep would engulf him soon.
With his music turned up as loud as possible, it was incredibly hard to think. The pounding beat was giving him a headache, but he welcomed it, happy to be rid of all thoughts. The music meant it was impossible for him to think about what had happened, stopping him from reliving the past few hours. But most importantly, it prevented him from continuing to fixate on one thing in particular: how he had effectively confessed his love for Brennan and destroyed their relationship all in a matter of seconds. If only unconsciousness would come sooner rather than later.
Eventually, Booth did fall asleep, and like the music, it was a sweet release from reality.
Booth woke early, the room bright from the sunlight that was streaming in. Usually, he would have shut the curtains the night before, but he'd been such a mess that he'd forgotten – and now he regretted it. As he climbed out of bed his back began to ache, and he realised how awkwardly he'd slept last night. Not good for someone who was trying to avoid a back injury – again. His mind immediately jumped to Brennan, and for a second he was overcome with happiness, not remembering what had happened just hours before. But then, like a wave from the ocean, it washed over him, drowning him in despair and misery – Brennan wouldn't be around to fix his back anymore.
His phone began to vibrate in his pocket, and he reached in to grab it. Clicking on the light, he looked at the screen – 6 missed calls and 2 new messages, all from the same number. Angela. Reluctantly he pressed 'listen'. Booth hoped to god that Angela had called to yell at him about last night, and not to tell him that something awful had happened to Brennan. Knowing it would he his fault, he immediately regretted not answering the phone when it had rung the night before.
'Seeley Booth, its Angela. We need to talk." She sounded angry. Reluctantly he pressed redial; willing Angela would yell at him, because if anyone deserved to be yelled at – it sure as hell was him.
"Hi, Ange speaking," she said while simultaneously yawning. She was incredibly tired from her late heart to heat with Brennan the night before. Plus she'd been so worried she'd gotten almost no sleep. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, Ange. It's Booth. You rang?"
That woke her up. "Yes, I did." She answered amid another yawn, "Get rid of all your plans this morning, because I really need to talk to you. Face to face. I mean, you're smart - I'm sure you know why. But I'll give you a hint anyway – it starts with 'Brennan' and ends in 'I love you'."
"Real subtle Ange – thanks." Booth answered sarcastically. He'd completely forgotten about this side of Angela. He'd expected her to get angry, and yell at him for hurting her best friend – like any normal person would – but Angela had more in common with Brennan than she thought – neither reacted in the way that was expected of them by society. Angela was more concerned with Booth and Brennan's romantic relationship than almost anything else. He knew that it wasn't that Angela didn't care about Brennan getting hurt; it was just that she was so sure that a sexual relationship with Booth would make Brennan happy, that she invested more time in trying to get them together than getting upset over events that had happened in the past.
"So where do you want to meet?" Booth didn't even bother arguing with her. He knew there was no way out - it would be best to just accept that Angela was not going to give up without a fight and get it over with quickly.
"Can we do it at your place? Mine is a mess; and I'd really rather not run into anyone we know - I'd hate to be interrupted."
I bet you would, Booth thought. But instead of taking his anger at himself out on her, he answered calmly, "Sure, my place. I guess I'll see you soon."
"Sooner than you think, Seeley Booth. And don't try and run. You know I'll just find you – and I'll be really mad when I do."
Both could picture the exact look on her face. She was mad...and very determined.
She didn't even bother knocking. She just waltzed in as if she owned the place. Booth couldn't believe it.
"Does NOBODY knock anymore?" Booth asked Angela angrily. He was having flashbacks to when Brennan had just let herself into his apartment...and then his bathroom.
"Sorry," she answered, though she didn't really sound sorry at all, "it was unlocked. I didn't think it would be a problem. You knew i was coming, its not like..." she paused, taking in his reaction to her comment, "...oh that's right! You're all skittish because Brennan walked in and you were naked. There's really no need to be embarrassed Booth, there's nothing wrong with a man and a women..."
"Enough." Booth didn't need Angela making it any harder on him. He also didn't need to be reminded that Brennan and him didn't have a sexual relationship – and never would, he reminded himself. "Can we just get this over with please?"
Angela suddenly felt sorry for Booth. She realised how hard it must be for him, and how insensitive she'd just been. I mean, he was the one that had just been rejected by the love of his life. "I'm really sorry Booth. I know I've been snappy, I just..."
"I know, don't worry about it. You care about Brennan – I get that. I feel the same way. And believe me, I hate myself right now. I just...I mean..." He paused, not able to find the right words. He looked up into Angela's eyes, "Ange, what have I done?"
Angela had never seen Booth so vulnerable. She walked towards him, wrapping her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. "You know, its not as bad as you think it is."
Booth grunted; he found that hard to believe. "No, I'm sure its much worse."
Angela knew it would take a lot to convince Booth otherwise. "Booth, come over to the couch and sit down. How about I make you a cup of coffee – strong, just how you like it – and we can start from the beginning." She left Booth on the couch, and walked towards the kitchen. But just before she turned into the kitchen she added, "Booth, she's fine, really."
"Booth, I need to know what happened."
Booth sighed. He been trying to avoid revisiting last night, it was just to painful – but I guess its time, he finally thought, no use crying over spilled milk.
"Well Ange, I honesty don't know. I don't know when I fell in love with her – it just sort of happened. But I guess I've known for about a year," on Angela's disbelieving look he added, "I mean actually known. I know you think I've always been in love with Brennan but I haven't. Sure I've always been attracted to her, and felt protective of her, but I sort of decided right from the beginning that I was never going to let love be an option because I knew that we could never cross that line, you know?"
Angela shook her head. The Line. How many times had she heard about that one from Brennan? Too many to count. "Ok, so what changed?"
"I couldn't help it anymore. I tried not to have these feelings Ange, but I just couldn't ignore what I felt any longer. And she didn't make it any easier. She would always start talking about sex – and that made it really hard for me."
Angela smiled, "I bet it did."
Booth rolled him eyes. Same old Angela. "So anyway, I guess the first time I really knew that I was in love with her was when she said she wanted to have a baby using my sperm. I just couldn't let her do it alone. And that's when I realised – I was not just being protective of her, I actually wanted to be with her. And it scared me."
A huge smile spread across Angela's face. "Booth honey, that's exactly how Brennan feels. You had to be the one to take that first step – because she has to know how you feel – but she needs time to decide how she feels." She looked over at Booth, who nodded.
"Booth, can you imagine how hard this must be for her? She doesn't like getting close to anyone because she's scared she'll get hurt again. She also has this incredible work ethic – strengthened by years of you telling her that there is a line and it cannot be crossed – and so she knows even if you wanted to sleep together you couldn't. But on the other hand, she has these feelings for you that she just doesn't understand, and that is so confusing for her. You have to give her time."
Booth understood completely. He knew Brennan. He knew how she felt. He just couldn't believe what he'd done. If there was any way to tell Brennan he loved her it was not by yelling in her face. "I just...can't believe I ruined everything. She probably hates me right now." And she always will, he added to himself.
Angela sighed. How was it not getting across to him? "Booth, you don't understand. She doesn't hate you. She's just confused. She doesn't understand how she feels. In fact, she doesn't even know what love is, and that makes it so much harder for her. She likes to be in control, and she's not. It scares her."
Booth sighed. "I just don't know what to do. I don't think we can work with each other anymore. I crossed the line, and there's no turning back." Booth sighed. He really had messed up.
"Booth, forget this 'line' you have formed in your head. It doesn't exist. It is just another excuse for you both not to be together. Hodgins and I were together and we worked together. You and Cam were together and you worked together – you didn't have a problem with it then, so why should you now?"
That was true he thought.
Angela continued. "Booth. You both created this 'line' in your heads so that you could work without having to consider the fact that you were attracted to each other. This way, you could both just pretend that there was nothing between you because in the back of your mind you knew nothing could ever happen anyway. You used it as a coping mechanism, but over time it stopped working. Eventually you both realised – I'll be it subconsciously – that you were kidding yourselves. You had feelings for each other that just couldn't be ignored."
Booth shook his head. "See Angela, that's where you are wrong. I might have feelings for Brennan, but she doesn't have feelings for me. I'd know if she loved me – and she doesn't."
"Why do you think she is willing to change her outlook on things for you? See Booth, she doesn't do that for just anyone. I'm her best friend and I still can't get her to see the world the way I do and I've known her fro six years– and yet you waltz in here demanding to work with her, and within a few short months she was already joking around. Joking Booth, joking. Do you know how huge a step that was? She's different because of you. You were able to achieve what no one else could – and believe me we tried. Obviously she has feelings for you, she loves you – she just doesn't know it."
Just then her phone began to ring. She reached into her handbag for it. Pressing the green call button she said "Ange speaking." She smiled. "Yes, ok. That's great. They'll see you after lunch then. Bye." And she hung up.
"Who's seeing who after lunch?" Booth asked, slightly worried about who 'they' may be referring to.
"You and Brennan. I think what you two really need is to have a little chat with Dr Lance Sweets, esteemed psychologist, and Dr Gordon Gordon Wyatt, esteemed psychologist and incredible chef."
A/N: What did you think?? Was it ok? Please help me out by reviewing and letting me know! I'd love hear what everyone thought. Plus if anyone had any ideas or suggestions for the story feel free to tell me – I'd love to hear them and I'll try as hard as I can to make sure I can fit any suggestions in somewhere!
P.S. Just watched the 100th episode of Bones. It was absolutely amazing. MIND BLOWN. There is so many more ways I can take the story now!!! So excited!!! But instead of talking about it here (I don't want to give anything away!) I better get back to writing and start on the next chapter...so bye!!