CHAPTER ONE Belongs to Stephenie Meyer - I am just playing!
My name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen, aka Nessie (thanks to Jacob), aka the Midget (thanks to Uncle Emmett). You know my back story: I don't need to tell you that I am a Vampire-Human hybrid, Mom, Dad and family were vegetarian vamps also some of them with special talents, and my husband to be a shapeshifter – shape of choice being a wolf, so…..
I am getting married today! omg! I am technically only five, and the year is 2012, I mature completely at 7 years, and I am meant to look like a 17 year old (but I think I look a bit older!), and Jacob proposed only six months ago! Today is the last day I am a Cullen – but I am keeping that name, and adding Black as a double barrel! Not that Jacob was happy about it, but it was tough! So I will be Renesmee Carlie Cullen-Black! Woo Hoo!
But back to my story, I have been writing the 'Nessie Chronicles' since I could read and write, and I was looking back on them today and reflecting the good, the bad, the funny and the sad stuff that has affected me over the past few years. I had time to kill seeing as I got up at 7 am and I wasn't due to getting hitched until 5 pm. I based what I am remember on what I have written and the view points from other people that are in my life, so….
I am going to skip the pansy stuff – the stuff when I am growing up, I am getting to the nitty gritty, cos a lot has happened since I hit puberty – and boy did I hit puberty! I had big growth spurts, and they usually happened pretty quickly. After five years though, I have changed. I have an aversion to pink, but up until I hit "2" Alice always dressed me in some pink thing, but now, I am a bit of a jeans fiend. I rarely wear dresses now, much to the dismay of Alice, but she still 'dresses' me, being the fashonista that she is! So it's not a bad thing, seeing as she is in the know in the fashion sense! It has its advantages!
I love my pop rock, heavy rock, indie, classical and any sort of music. My mix is eclectic.
I still project my thoughts or memories into others with a few added extras - you know these things intensify over time, but I am more vocal now, and like to talk – no surprise there then!
I still need to set the scene, so I need to go into a few things first!
After the Volturi came and went, I grew again, I looked about seven at the time, and then it seemed to have levelled off for a while. I got to my first birthday with no mishaps, then my second, but was that going to last? Hell no! I made some new friends, new allegiances were forged.
The day after the Volturi left, the wolf pack decided to merge. Sam didn't want to be the Alpha any more, and he wanted to spend some time with Emily, he wanted to keep his wolf, but didn't want the responsibility. They were due to get married a few months down the line – Claire and myself being the customary flower girls and given the chance for Alice to dress me in pink – I HATE PINK! She also arranged their wedding. So the minute Sam made his choice, Jacob said he felt the change immediately, and felt all the wolves alliances fall to him. He was and still is a good leader. He promised me he would never give up his wolf, in order to stay with me, so he will never age.
Jacob gave the pack a choice – whether they wanted to be part of the pack or carry on with their lives. Leah surprised us all by saying she was giving up her wolf, she wanted her life back. Five of the younger ones felt it was too much for them and gave up their wolves also. In total they were back to ten wolves – still a big pack though.
Once their hierarchy was established, Leah leaving, Seth became the Beta. I had asked Jacob a few months later why Sam, Jared or Paul didn't take the beta, and Jacob said "No idea hun, maybe it's because Seth has been with me throughout this whole malarkey and maybe him being beta has reflected upon that. He has grown up in the past few months, he deserves it." There were no fights between the pack, they seem to have accepted it.
Jacob then sat down with Dad and Carlisle and rehashed the treaty. Dad felt Jacob and Seth had become 'part of the family' and had wanted to do something about it – something Jacob to begin with very angry, but eventually accepted it – you will find out about that later!
Jacob felt the same way about the Cullen's, and he felt that they could come and go as they please, they could pass the treaty lines, go to La Push if and when they please, as long as they stick to their 'diet'. Carlisle felt the same way, and felt that Jacob and his pack could come onto their land with no qualms – treaty sorted then!
Mom practiced with her shield. She was able to get Dad to listen to her thoughts now; she could project her 'second' bubble as she called it, over him. Came in handy when they were talking about me, which was a lot of the time!
Alice and Jasper went back to their normal routine. Jasper spent some time with Charlotte and Peter – where ever they were in America, he came back after a few months. Alice continued being Alice. She organised Sam and Emily's wedding, so that kept her busy.
Emmett and Rose disappeared for times on end. At the time I didn't know what they were up to, now I do and shudder to think! Emmett is now not so subtle about it – which Dad hates, now that I'm "not so midget like!" Rose stated she disliked the smell of 'wet dog' and Jacob continued with the blonde jokes, but I think they really like each other, which either party are not willing to admit to each other, although they have admitted to me, but be it on pain of death if I were to mention it to the other person!
Carlisle took Esme to Isle Esme for a few weeks needed vacation. I never called them Grandad and Nana, and they didn't mind. I did see them that way but I liked using their names.
After that, Dad started home schooling me, teaching me as much languages he could cram into my brain, along with English, Latin, Mathematics (which I hated), Chemistry, Biology, Physics. He taught me how to play the piano, but I had a keen interest in guitar. I broke the strings the first time – strummed to hard.
Grandpa – Charlie, was still on the 'need to know' basis. He knew about the imprinting when Jacob explained, and was not happy when he was told that we were getting married, Jacob offered to go into it, but then Grandpa put his hands up like he was about to be shot and was like "Need to know only, need to know only! As long as Nessie is happy, then I am, I couldn't think of a better man for her."
The other covens went back to normal life. As far as I am aware, Benjamin stayed with Amun, but was very tempted to stay with us to see what our way of life was like. The Amazon coven went back to their way of life, and Zafrina wrote to me often.
Garrett left with Kate to the Denali coven, and has stayed with them ever since. He has been a vegetarian for three years with only one slip up, although it was almost a major one! Which I will get to.
I am digressing, so I need to get back to what I was reading in my Nessie Chronicles:
I am going to start with: My first period! God I sound like that woman from 'Friends' when Chandler was forced to sit in a one woman play whilst Joey hosted a roof party – I loved Friends, Jacob, Emmett and I would sit and watch them for hours.
I had another major growth spurt at the end of last year, now making me look about eleven years old. I didn't grow much height wise, but there was a very noticeable difference. We all thought that would be the last one, and I would have another one in at least three years time. But things never go the way we like them too!
This is when it all began, when I quickly realised Jacob was much more than my best friend. I didn't know what imprinting was, only that I was the 'imprintee'. Dad and Jacob didn't want me to know at first, allowing me to make my own choices, Mom wanted to tell me though.
Mom and I are very close, I could tell her anything! I was a Daddy's girl – and I could wrap that man round my finger, but I tried not to take advantage of it (much). So they were leaving me to my own choices, and boy did I make choices!
I was woken up at the end of summer in 2011 by someone stroking my cheek. I took a deep breath in and smelled a very woodsy scent- that was my Jacob.
"Hello sleepy head, time to get up hun, it's almost 11.30."
I put my hand to his cheek.
Five more minutes…..dreaming…
"No chance! Charlie wants to see you this morning!"
And with that, I felt the covers being torn from me.
"Why did you have to do that?" I mumbled.
"Cos you would be back off to the land of nod if you got the opportunity, come on, up you get. It's your Dads wrath you incur if you are not up. I need to run to La Push to see Billy for minute, and I offered to wake you on my way, it was either that or Emmett, and you know he isn't as nice as me. Last time, he sat on you!"
"Ok, I'm up, I'm up!"
"Right then, I'll see you in a few," and with that he kissed me on my forehead and jumped out the window.
I dragged myself out my bed, and I felt oddly strange. I had a discomfort in my lower back and my chest felt a bit tender. I didn't think anything of it, as I had been playing baseball yesterday with my family. I am not as durable as the rest of them, still tough, and if I really hurt myself, I do heal quickly. I am strong and as fast as my Mom, but not as shiny, which means I will be going to school once my growth levels out.
So with that thought, I went to the bathroom for a shower. I did my thing and got myself out and dried, and that's when I noticed something was different. I had hair 'down there' and little buds starting to grow where my flat-as-a-pancake chest was. Odd.
Still in my towel, I texted Mom: can you come back to the cottage please, just you, not Dad x
Seconds after I sent the text, Mom was here, I could smell freesias in the air.
"What's wrong Nessie?" Mom walked into my bedroom.
"I'm not sure…..I think I am growing again."
"What makes you think that?"
"I think I am growing breasts, and I have hair down there." I pointed to below my stomach. Mom looked stunned, and didn't say anything for a few seconds, which for me was a long time.
"Oh? Is that it – what does it mean? What's going to happen next?"
"I think I am going to need your Dad."
"NO, I do not need him knowing this, it's embarrassing!"
"Sweetie, he is going to know anyway, the minute you get to the house, and he is your Dad."
"Give me a minute, I will explain it to him, and speak with Carlisle." Mom didn't give me much a choice, she left.
I continued to sit there in my towel for the next five minutes, starting to feel a bit pissed off. I decided to get dressed. I didn't feel like getting dressy, so I put on a pair of bootcut jeans and a purple t-shirt as I was waiting for Mom and Dad to come back.
I then smelt the freesias and a honey-lilac smell. Mom and Dad dashed into the cottage.
They came into my bedroom, and sat on the bed, so I sat with them. I could feel the tension in the air – what was going on?
"Ok, what's going on?"
"We think you are hitting puberty," said Dad, who was pinching the bridge of his nose"
"There are things that we need to talk about honey," Mom started saying. "We think this is another one of your growth spurts."
I currently stood at 5ft 2in, just taller than Alice, I have always been on the dainty side. My hair still curled into its bronze ringlets, and I still had a cherubic (as my Dad calls it) face.
This was when I got the whole 'period' talk. Lovely.
Nice and awkward – Mom was at ease talking to me about the anatomy of the female body and what was going to happen. Great.
Dad…not so much, especially when I asked about the male anatomy. "Uh..Well.. you see." This was the how the conversation kept on going, starting and stopping! He eventually got there. I thought I should have a bit of fun with this. So I looked at Mom, and with the most innocent look and I said:
"So how are babies made Mom?"
"I think that's for another time, sweetie." She patted me on the head.
"No, if you're imploding me with all this information, you might as well get on with the rest!"
I had read Carlisle's anatomy and physiology books, I knew how babies were made, I knew the reproductive systems – I am not stupid, just didn't think it would happen to me so quick, I'll admit, I panicked a little! I just wanted to make this funny, and take the heat off me, so of course, I didn't think this while Dad was here – he was too much in a stutter trying to tell me about it to listen to my thoughts. It was very funny.
"Well, you see Nessie…..the thing about it is…..When…When a man and a woman love each other, they…um…then make a baby," answered Dad.
"But how?" I looked at them both, trying hard to think about the menstrual cycle in my head: and watching Dad cringe at the same time, I had to cough to disguise a laugh.
"Nessie," replied Mom, "A baby is made when a man's sperm meets the woman's egg. The egg becomes fertilised and a baby starts growing in the woman's uterus, in her stomach."
"I see that Mom, but how does the sperm get there?" I really had to try hard not to think about this or I'd give the game away.
Dad took over "A man's…um…"
"Penis?" I interrupted
"Yes, a man's penis enters a woman's vagina, and this is called sex, but when they love each other, it's called making love," replied Dad as fast as he could, looking really mortified.
"And when is the sperm released then?" I was quite surprised I was getting this far.
"Well, it's called an orgasm, and it's very pleasurable for both," said Mom, looking at Dad with a small smile. Ew. I didn't want that image in my head.
"So when Emmett and Rose 'disappear'," I used my fingers as quotations. "They are making love?"
"That's one way of putting it, yes," said Dad – I think if he could go red, he would have been the colour of puce by now.
"And Alice and Jasper." Not really making it a question.
"Yes Nessie." Dad said.
"And Carlisle and Esme."
"So what does a man do, when they don't have someone to have sex with?" I was loving this, I was giggling in my head. Dad snapped his head round. Uh oh, game was up. Dad's face was a picture!
"You knew the whole time?" Dad stood up from the bed pacing the room.
"What?" asked Mom.
I started replaying the memory in my head, including my thoughts.
Dad looked at Mom and said "She knew the whole time, she read one of Carlisle's medical books, and she panicked this morning and wanted to take the heat off that! You little monster, you had me all in a pickle, trying to explain all that, and you kept going on!"
I rolled about my bed fully laughing, not caring about it now. "Yep, Emmett would be so proud!"
"Renesmee….I can't believe you would do that!" Scolded Mom, she was also trying to hide a smile. Result. Score one for me!
"It's not 'score one for you'! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?" shrieked Dad.
"Yeah, hang on…" I put my hands to both their cheeks – something I have been able to do for a while, project my thoughts onto two people, and showed them the entire scene. "And wait till I tell Emmett, he won't let you live that one down when I show him!"
"You wouldn't dare." Dad glared at me. Challenge?
In that split second, I jumped out my open window and ran to the house. Dad was faster than me, but he would never physically stop me.
"You want a bet?" I heard him just behind me, I ran through the back door. I streaked passed Esme who was cooking in the kitchen.
"What's going on?" asked Esme looking at bit stunned.
I ran straight to Emmett, who was sitting in the living room. He got into a pouncing stance thinking there was something wrong. I ran right at him, jumped onto him (almost knocking him to the floor, but not quite) and slapped my hand to his cheek before Dad could stop me. I gave him a blow by blow, and suddenly I was on the floor.
"Oh my God!" laughed Emmett, who was now rolling about on the floor in stitches of laughter. "Your face Edward. Bloody classic."
Rosalie, who was sitting flicking channels got up and asked "What? What's so funny?" So I jumped over Emmett, who was still laughing and showed Rosalie, who smirked and look at Edward. Emmett shouted. "The Midget got you there!"
"Hey!" I shouted as I smacked his arm.
"This isn't a laughing matter, she is hitting puberty! She is growing…." He pointed at his chest, which made Emmett boom again. Dad looked at me with pure venom.
"Daddy, I am not embarrassed anymore, I was to begin with, but this is so funny, wait till I show Jacob!"
"You will not young lady - "
"You just got 'young ladyed'!" interrupted Emmett, who was still laughing.
"You will not show Jacob, he does not need encouraging, and this is really immature Nessie," continued Dad. "And furthermore, maybe we should restrict the amount of time you two spend with each other from now on if these are the ideas you are getting!" He turned and pointed to Emmett "And you, you and Jacob are always tag teaming me, so the same applies to you."
I got angry all of a sudden. "You will not! Jacob is my best friend, and you will not stop me from seeing him –"
"Emmett, please stop laughing, you are not helping, and no, that's not going to happen for a while, not if I can help it!" shouted Dad.
I whipped round and looked at Emmett. "What were you thinking?"
Emmett, suddenly looking like a rabbit in head lights. "Um, I was thinking that –"
Dad rounded on Emmett and pointed at him. "For the love of God, you finish that sentence, and I will make sure that your anatomy is unusable."
Emmett out his hands up. "Ok, ok, this is not my fault that you have a hormonal teenager –"
"She is not a teenager, she is almost five in a few months-"
"She looking like a hormonal teenager." Emmett put his hands up to continue. "And you just got pranked, I personally found it highly amusing. Not my fault you can't take a joke," said Emmett, now looking at me with a wide grin on his face.
"This is a sensitive matter, and not to be spoken about lightly," continued Dad. Mom came up behind him and put her arm round his waist.
"Come on honey, you just got flustered, Nessie is your little girl, you didn't think that this would be coming up so soon."
Carlisle came down the stairs. "At least we know that this is normal growth, like Nahuel said it would be. Although a bit sooner than I thought it would be."
"I know Carlisle." Dad was pinching the bridge of his nose again. "I wasn't ready for this. I thought I had a few more years yet."
I was about to say something when Mom added. "I know honey, but we have to deal with this, and everything else. We all knew she was going to grow fast, I'm feeling the same as you, but we have to accept it and move on, and if Jacob is there for her, is that a bad thing? She will come to realise this anyway in the next year or so, so let's not be so hasty about the whole 'Jacob thing', and we can't blame him for this happening to her, so we have to deal with it, ok?"
"Well, I can blame him, he was the one that imprinted on my daughter!"
"That's hardly his fault, and you know it, Edward. You know he likes her as a best friend at the moment, and that's enough for now, it's enough for him, he would never ask anything more of her until she is ready for that."
"But Bella, I am not ready for that, I am not ready to lose her yet."
"You are not losing her Edward." Mom then gave Dad a cuddle. I was confused.
I was starting to get really angry, they were talking about me as if I wasn't here, and what about the whole 'Jacob thing'? I know he is my best friend and all, but what's the big deal?
Alice danced beside me and put her hand on my bare arm. I showed her how I felt. "I know honey, but you need to do what your Mom and Dad ask of you, so does Jacob," she whispered. I snapped my head round at her, she was taking their side, Alice usually came to my aid.
I touched her again. Thanks for the support! I don't know how quick this puberty thing will happen, but they are not taking my Jacob away from me. Dad hissed.
Mom noticed the interaction. "What's wrong honey?"
I started to get tearful. I don't normally do tears, what was happening? What started out as a joke was going completely wrong! And Mom was now being sympathetic to me.
"Don't take my Jacob away," I pleaded, my bottom lip trembling, betraying me.
Dad brought his hands to his temple "Why do you say it like that? Like you own him?"
I brought my whole 5ft 2 in up to him and hissed at him "Why are you being like this? It was only a joke, I can't help what's happening to me, at least Jacob would be there for me rather than get all flustered like you! You are talking about me like I am not here, and talking about Jacob when he is not here to defend himself!" I knew this was a low blow, but I had enough, my back was starting to ache, and my chest was tight. I brought my hands to my chest only to realise that they felt bigger than they did ten minutes ago. I went goggle-eyed!
Dad was taken aback by my outburst and the hissing then he just stared at me wide eyed as he heard the last thought going through my head. His demeanour changed, he came to me and put his cool arms around me. "I am sorry Nessie, I didn't mean to get so offended. If it had been anyone else, I would have laughed like that big lump over there did."
"Hey! I object to that…Ow! What you do that for?" – Rosalie just slapped him upside the head.
"Because, you big donut, she is going through some stuff, which is evident to see, and they are having a moment, so let them have it!"
"We can have a moment, if you like!" Emmett suggested wagging his eyebrows. "All this sex talk is making me horny!"
"EMMETT!" screamed my Mom, and before Mom could hit him upside the head, they both ran up the stairs as fast as they could. That was another image I didn't need.
Dad cringed as the image vividly went through my mind, bad enough that he has to hear them think it, let alone hear and see it in his head. I felt him smile on my hair. "I'm sorry sweetheart I shouldn't have over reacted. I see now that you are growing again, and instead of denying it, I should be helping you," he crooned in my ear.
Mom came up to us and I was suddenly in the 'Nessie Sandwich'. I suddenly burst into tears. This was so unlike me, one minute I was angry, next tearful.
"So does that mean we get to go shopping? Asked Alice, who was now on the balls of her feet
"NO!" shouted Mom and Dad in unison.
"But, she will need to in a few days time, I can see it, Nessie is so much more clearer to me now that she used to be. And I can see that tomorrow-" Alice said with her eyes closed, she must be seeing something.
"Alice, not now," warned Dad.
I suddenly heard a padding of paws, I knew that sound off by heart. That was my Jacob; I could visualise Dad rolling his eyes when I thought that. The sound stopped and suddenly Jacob came in wearing just a pair of cut off joggers. He noticed the atmosphere in the room, then looked at me.
"Why is Nessie upset? What's wrong?" he came right up to me and put his huge hand on my shoulder.
"Nothing is wrong Jacob." Mom looked up from our 'Nessie sandwich'. "She is going through some stuff."
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with dog."
I looked up into Dad's eyes "Dad, there is no need for that." My face was tear streaked. I reached out to Jacob to show him what happened in the last fifteen minutes.
"Oh." Jacob started blushing.
"See, nothing to concern yourself with, Jacob."
"Edward, what can I say, this isn't my department!" Jacob turned to me and stroked my cheek. "But you need anything Ness, just ask me hun."
I sniffled "Ok."
Dad looked at Jacob in surprise, I turned round to Mom, who raised her eyebrow at Dad.
"I will tell you later Bella." Mom nodded.
It turned out that Jacob had thought poor girl, I hope she gets through this ok, not that I know what a period feels like, but when you live with two sisters, I have had experience - being on the brunt of their hormones. I'll be there if she needs me, I'll even go and buy the stuff she needs, as embarrassing as that will be! That's what got Dad!
Dad admitted to me after Jacob and I eventually got together, that he was surprised that he wasn't thinking of himself and what was to come, only thinking of me and how to get me through it. I scolded Dad when he told me that, of course my Jacob wouldn't be thinking – "Yes! When she gets older, we'll be the ones having all the sex, and not talking about it!" That is not Jacobs's nature. My Dad was soon realising this in a short period of time. He didn't like to think he was in the wrong, but he came to accept it.
Anyway….I am digressing, you will find this throughout my time of reflection, you will also find I will put other people's opinions over also, you will just have to get used to it!
What was I saying, oh – Mom raised an eyebrow and Dad told her he would tell her later! Right, I am back on track….
Carlisle came to stand next to Esme, who asked "what was the thought that changed your mind Edward?"
We were an open family, there was a lot of love and with that came an awful lot of embarrassment!
"Nessie felt 'bigger'," Dad closed his eyes and cringed. "Than she did fifteen minutes ago."
"Oh, I see. Mmm, we have had growth spurts before, and I suppose everyone is different, and grows and different rates…" Carlisle was now talking to himself, full of thought with his index finger and thumb on his chin.
"Does this mean that Nessie will be starting soon?" Esme asked.
"I think so darling, I think so….Nessie, how do you feel now?" Carlisle asked, now taking a seat on the sofa, and indicating for all of us to sit. There was a noise near the kitchen, and Jasper walked in, immediately noting the atmosphere in the room. I immediately felt calm.
"Jasper! I think we should take a walk!" Alice jumped up almost into his arms.
"What's going on? The whole room is tense, Nessie especially."
"Come on," Alice grabbed Jasper's hand. "I'll explain shortly, they need to sort some things out." And with that they gracefully left.
Great, another person who needs to know the gory details. Lovely.
I was sitting next to Jacob, who put his arm around me, letting me know he was there; I leaned into him, taking in his smell. I could faintly smell Seth, Billy, Rachel and Paul; I wondered why he went home?
Carlisle started. "If you are feeling different from what you felt like-" he looked at his watch "Twenty minutes ago, then I think this is going to happen like when you were first born. In the average girl, these things tend to happen at once or one at a time. Boys are slower to develop than girls. I think this will be a major growth, like Nahuel said, he went through some major changes and then matured within seven years, and maybe you might mature sooner, we are dealing with the unknown. This may be a major growth spurt for you and after that it may be more subtle."
"Here's hoping." Dad muttered.
"Well, if this is the case, then shouldn't we be going to get some toiletries then?" Esme offered. "If this is as quick as you say it is, then Nessie is going to need them soon enough."
"I think so too," Mom mused.
"What do you mean 'stuff'?" I asked.
"Sanitary towels, tampons and some pain relief."
I looked at Esme after she spoke. "Tampons….but they go in –"
"Yes they do sweetheart, but that's something to think about when we go to the shop, you can decide then," said Esme. Mom touched my hand.
I felt Jacob tense beside me. I looked at Dad and he put his head in his hands when I got a visual of trying out a tampon, I was really making his day worse! I couldn't help thinking about it, whether they would be comfortable or not.
Dad stood up, looking a bit exasperated. "On that note, I think you and your Mom should go to the supermarket. Not here, go to the one in Seattle, no one knows you there." He got up and walked to the kitchen, and Jacob got up after him. I think he had enough at this point.
"Ok honey, let's go. Edward, can you call Charlie and let him know that Nessie will see him in a few days, I'm sure he won't mind waiting."
"I'll go and speak to him; he's going to find out anyway, might as well be from the 'need to know' guy," Jacob offered.
"Ok, but be nice about it, he doesn't need gory details and such," Dad snapped.
Mom stood up taking my hand and led me to the garage. She took the keys to her Ferrari and motioned for me to get into the passenger seat. We left fast, Mom being a fast driver, not as fast as Dad, but fast none the less. I could see Jacob in the trees running towards Charlie's house. I had to smile as I knew he liked to race the cars! I think the canine aspect seems to take over then!
We got to Seattle in little under an hour, considering it is a three hour drive from Forks. And we drove to a big supermarket. We parked the car. People were staring, not only at the car but at Mom as well. Can't say I blame them, Mom is pretty.
We walked in, and the security guard was staring, we searched for the correct aisle and then the search began.
There were so many! Big pads with wings, small ones for thongs (note to self; ew!), some without wings, tampons for light, medium, heavy, super heavy, super heavy plus – you get my point! I touched Mom's arm: what ones do we get?
"Well from what I can remember from my human memories, my period was a bit sore and not that heavy, but my Mom, your Grandma, she used to be laid up with cramps, and hers were heavy – "
Ok, too much info there Mom…
Mom looked at the shelf for a minute and then decided what to get. "Why don't we get medium flow pads with wings, and night time pads with wings. And we will get medium to heavy flow tampons, incase you want to try them."
We walked round to another aisle, and she picked up some over the counter pain relief and then we made our way to the checkouts, thankfully she picked a really young girl, and she gave me a sympathetic look as she was scanning the items through. I started to go red; at least it wasn't a man!
We made our way to the car – again, people were taking pictures of the damn thing. I touched Moms arm. I wished you had taken the Volvo! Mom laughed as we managed to get into the car, and she drove home.
My back ache was getting progressively worse, so I decided to take some of the pain relief Mom got me. I wasn't feeling all that sociable, I decided to just go right back to the cottage without speaking to anyone. I just collapsed onto my double bed (note to self, someone made it; smells like Alice, no doubt checking my walk in wardrobe at the same time, making sure I was using it!). I put my hands to my chest and noticed they were getting bigger again. I got up from the bed and took my t shirt off. I looked at the 6ft mirror attached to the door of the walk in wardrobe, and noticed that indeed, my boobs (I felt slightly immature when I giggled at that word) had grown again. They started to look, well nice! I noticed my waist was thinner, because my hips were getting big. I turned around to face the mirror side on, and noticed my bum started to get a bit of a shape. I got taller too. Whilst I was admiring myself in the mirror, there was a knock on my door:
"Nessie, can I come in?"
Crap crap crap! That was Jacob, I was too preoccupied to notice anyone come to the cottage.
"Not yet, hang on a sec, I….I was just checking something!"
"Are you ok? I know all that was embarrassing before…I don't think I handled it all that well honey," Jacob muttered through the door.
"Yeah, I am ok, just a lot to take in." I opened the door after slipping my t shirt back on.
Jacob was wearing a shirt and a pair of jeans – he looked….well, nice!
"You should wear clothes more often, you suit them." I complemented. I looked him over again, and I felt my heart skip a beat; what was that?
"Alice feels the same way, she feels that I need a whole new wardrobe, I have told her not to bother, but there is no point telling that vertically challenged pixie. She will go and do it anyway. She is planning on sorting all of us out with clothes. She is like a force of nature."
"I know, that's Alice for you - got to love her."
I swatted him on the arm. "You know you do!"
"I know, wouldn't want to admit that now or incur her wrath! But how are you feeling?"
"Not my best to be honest, I don't know if you want to hear this, you are my best friend and all, but there are limitations!"
"Nessie, I will always be here to listen, no matter what the problem." Jacob put his arm round me and we sat on my bed. I starting to get a dull ache down in my lower stomach, I put my hand there when I felt it.
"Well, if you really want to know, I'm growing again. My boobs, bum and hips are getting bigger. My back aches, my chest aches, you get the picture." Raising my hand in annoyance.
"Oh…well, that's part of becoming a woman honey. Nothing much you can do about that, just got to let it take its course." Jacob looked down where my hand was. "You sore?"
"Little bit, I took some pain relief before, it's helped slightly. I feel like just going to bed, I feel a bit drained today. I don't usually get angry or tearful. I seem to be at one end of the spectrum then violently shoved to the other."
"That's hormones for you hun. I think its part and parcel of your period."
"Shame men don't go through this."
"I don't know about that." I glared at him then. "Well, what if we, you know, get kicked there, or accidentally knocked them?"
I looked at him for a second then we both started laughing. "Well, shall I kick you in the nuts and see what's worse!" Jacob laughed even harder.
"You would have to catch me first."
"I would, but I am not in the mood." That just made us laugh even harder and we both fell back on the bed.
My big double bed was against the left wall, with the walk in wardrobe on the right wall with an adjoining bathroom next to it. The window is on the back wall, facing the forest. I had a large book shelves on either side of the door –and on one of the shelves, had a flat screen 19in TV with a combined DVD player. My walk in had clothes on the railings line each side in plastic bags, underwear, jeans, t-shirts in draws underneath on one side and shoes in their boxes in the other, and CDs and DVDs on the top shelves (I had a little stool). Alice made it her duty to make sure my walk in was stocked with the latest fashion.
A chest of drawers that sat underneath my window had my iPod and dock on it and also had my little eeyore and pooh plush toys, along with a little russet coloured wolf next to them. I got my fascination of winnie the pooh when I seen a very old film with him on. Not the new kind on TV now, but classic pooh. Jacob made me the plush russet coloured wolf toy after the Volturi left. Mom thought it was cute, I used to sleep with it all the time – not so much now, but Dad rolled his eyes when he seen me receive his gift. I still wore the bracelet he gave me along with the locket Mom and Dad gave me at my first christmas. On my bedside cabinet lay my new alarm clock. I broke the last one when it tried to wake me up. I think that's the fifth one I have been through.
I looked at the clock on my bedside cabinet. "Time has gone in today, its 8 pm."
Jacob sat up and looked at the time; he then looked at me "You thinking of hitting the sack?" I nodded. "Bit early isn't it?"
"I know, but I feel so tired, I haven't even had anything to eat today."
"How's the thirst?"
"Oddly, I don't feel thirsty, only hungry."
Food – funnily enough, I didn't mind. Mom thought it was going to be an issue as I refused the baby formula. But as I got older, I appreciated more of a choice, something I am thankful for, as the rest of them don't really get the choice, apart from herbivore or carnivore. I hated green stuff and any vegetables. Ugh. But I loved my meat, really rare. So does Jacob – no surprises there really. I liked both savoury and sweet, and I really like chocolate – not a lot at once, cos one time I gorged with Jacob (it was after valentine's day) - we were in competition with each other, I then had a bit of projectile up along the wall which ran down onto the carpet, needless to say Emmett, Jacob, Jasper and Rosalie found it highly entertaining. Esme on the other hand, who is normally nice and calm was going a tad mental. Dad was split between laughing and scolding the others, who encouraged me to eat all the chocolate by the way, and Mom had to walk out the room because of the smell! Esme was franticly trying to get chocolate vomit off the walls and the cream carpet. She didn't succeed getting it out the carpet, so she had to order another one, and burn the vomit one.
Anyway, not so keen on milk, but will drink it if necessary. I like fizzy juice as I could feel it pop away in my stomach. I liked my eggs and chicken. Dad said that Mom craved that when she was pregnant with me, so maybe it's related. I like pizza, crisps – junk food mainly, and Jacob was happy with that cos whatever I didn't eat, he inhaled it.
I still like to hunt, anything really. I do prefer the carnivores as they have a better taste to them. I do get donated blood on occasions when we are unable to hunt.
"Well honey, I brought you some chocolate and a can of coke to keep you going."
"Aw, thanks Jacob." He was always thoughtful like that. I then felt that pain in my stomach again, and brought my hand there. "I think it's time for me to get changed into my jammies." I ate my chocolate, drank my coke then went for a quick wash, brushed my teeth and changed. I left the bath room and found Jacob lying on my bed, with his legs dangling off the end.
"Hey you, budge up." Jacob moved towards the wall, and took the duvet out from underneath him. I didn't really need a duvet; it was more of a comfort thing. I got into my bed, and Jacob wrapped the duvet round us both. This was a first for me, but I didn't mind the comfort, I felt quite needy today. I lay facing the room, and he lay behind me, cuddling in, he started stroking my hair which felt so nice.
I then felt that pain again it started as a dull ache leading into a painful throb, and I then grabbed my stomach.
"No," I said through gritted teeth. "Is it meant to be this bad?"
"Like I said, you will need to kick me in the nuts to find out!"
"I am sure that can be arranged."
Jacob then put his left arm round me and put his hand on my lower stomach. I froze, wondering what he was doing, then he started rubbing that area back and forward, the heat from his hand was a distraction, and dulled the ache a bit. I didn't mind, as long as it helped. I relaxed again.
"Is that ok?"
"Actually, I think it's helping, it's nice."
We lay there in perfect companiable silence; there was no need to make conversation. Jacobs's body heat made me a little hot, but the heat coming from his hand really did help the pain, it was like a distraction technique. I listened to his steady heartbeat, and mine was thrumming away as usual. The sounds were sending me to sleep.
I touched his left hand.
Night night my Jacob. Thank you for this.
I felt him smile behind me.