I wrote this as a gift for midori_lover on lj... I was never quite satisfied with how it came out, but I hope you enjoy it regardless. ^^ Just a random oneshot.

"What the… aw shit.

Lovino Vargas. Twenty two years old.

"Feliciano! Are you still here?!"

The living embodiment of the Southern half of Italy.


Currently in a relationship with one of the densest people on the planet.

"… God dammit…"

And now he has to go to France.


Walking up Francis's driveway Lovino cursed under his breath. Why was he the one who had to come? Just because his idiotic brother was hanging around that German potato-bastard again. And now he had to be right on the pervert's front door step all for some stupid paperwork.

Knocking on the door he peered through the stained glass, "Hey, Francis! You in here?!"

A few seconds later the door opened revealing the Frenchman, "Ah, Lovino! This is certainly a surprise. What brings you to my lovely home?"

He shoved a paper into Francis's face, "I'm not here because I want to be, dumbass. Do you recognize this?"

"Hmm," taking the paper from him Francis quickly skimmed over the figures, "Isn't this the order for iron you put in last month? This should be all set by now, oui?"

Lovino grimaced, "It should but we're missing a unit. Like I said, I wouldn't be here if I could avoid it."

Francis shrugged, "Alright, I'm sure I have the document somewhere. Why don't you come in while I look?"

Hesitating at the doorstep he eventually stuffed his hands into his pockets and followed the Frenchman in. Even being there made the hairs on the back of his neck bristle. It was as if any second someone was going to jump out and-!

No. He didn't want to think about it.

"Just wait here, Lovino. I'll see if I can find that paper," Francis said, heading down the hall and into his office.

"You'd better find it, bastard!" he called after him. Once the man was finally out of sight Lovino allowed himself to relax, if only just a bit. Never could be too careful. Especially when-

"What the?! GAHH!"

"Lovino? Is something wrong?" Francis called from his office.

Rubbing his head he glared at the source of his troubles. In other words, what previously was a large stack of books and papers.

"Of course, something's wrong you half-brained pervert! Who leaves a pile of books in the middle of the floor?!"

"Oh, désolé, désolé. Do you need any help?"

"Not from you I don't, dammit! Just keep looking for that stupid form!"

Sighing Lovino worked his way into a sitting position and started sorting through the papers in front of him. This just wasn't his day.

Antonio was…

"Huh?" Reaching forward he picked up an old and yellowed piece of paper. It was so old the fibers crinkled under his fingers as he turned it over in his hands. For a second he stopped, wondering if he should be reading this. Who knew what kind of perversion it might contain? But then again it did have something to do with Antonio so…

With a shrug Lovino started to skim over the ancient scrawl.


Doing well, I don't hope? I myself am doing fantastically. Probably even more so then you. Take that you lousy frog! While you sit in your land-locked house I travel the seas. But I guess you knew that already didn't you? How did you like my ship when I so generously decided to invite you aboard? Did it stun you into submission to acknowledge me as the better nation? I guess it wouldn't but that's fine with me.

All the fun is in the resistance, after all.

Speaking of resistance how did you fancy my greatest treasure? Antonio was relatively pleased to see you, I suspect. Of course I can't really be sure. All I know is that he seemed a bit more flexible then usual. Honestly, you should have taken a turn…

Lovino stopped reading, What? WHAT?!

Crumpling the letter in his hand he ran out of the house, forgetting all about Francis or whatever it was he went there to get.



Storming through the house Lovino poked his head into the living room before charging upstairs, "Where are you, you bastard?!"

He threw open the door to Antonio's bedroom and scowled at the sight of the Spaniard. He was still sleeping!? And he was wearing that stupid t-shirt he had bought him last Christmas. The one that said "Consciousness: That annoying time between naps".

"Wake up you idiot!" he charged into the room and, picking up a pillow, threw it right into Antonio's face, "This is important!"

"Huh, what? Lovi?" Lovino shrieked as Antonio grabbed his waist and pulled him down onto the bed, "What are you doing here so early in the morning?"

"Let. Me. GO! And it's not early, it's nearly noon!"

Antonio grinned, "So why are you here so early, Lovi?"

Finally managing to break away Lovino sat up, reached into his pocket and tossed the balled-up piece of paper at Antonio's chest, "What the hell is this?!"

"Uh…" Antonio un-crumpled it at looked at the first few lines, "A letter?"

"No, you dumbass!" he jabbed his fingers at the words, "What's in the letter, what's in it!"

"Ooohh," Drawing out the syllable Antonio started to read. Lovino watched as looks of confusion and shock crossed his face, followed by a bright red glow of embarrassment, "Th-this is…" he stuttered out.

"It's what, bastard?! Why don't you tell me just what the hell that is?!" Lovino fumed.

Casting his eyes down Antonio mumbled under his breath, "Why do you need to know, Lovi?"

Lovino stopped, then turned so his legs were hanging off the side of the bed and put his head in his hands, "God dammit, Antonio. How can you be so idiotic and stupid?!" he looked back up, "We're in a relationship. Do you even know that? Do you even understand it?"

Antonio reached forward, "Lovi, of course I know that! And I-"

"Then you have to tell me these things, dammit!"

"…But, Lovino…" Suddenly Antonio's arms were around his chest. How did he get over there so fast? "If I told you about the… events of that letter you would be upset, right?"

"I'm not upset! I'm… I… I…"

"I didn't want to worry you. And it doesn't really matter to me as long as I have you."

"Doesn't matter? Doesn't matter?!" He struggled in Antonio's arms, "How the hell could it not matter! How could it not matter to me that you were raped?!

"Well, I'm sorry but-"

"No! Don't be sorry… just…" Turning, Lovino pressed his lips up against Antonio's. As they kissed he felt the Spaniard's fingers trail down to the small of his back, coming to rest at his belt. Pushing his hands down Antonio's collar he breathed, "Tell me."

So, did you like it? Maybe? Did you even make it this far? Okay then. :)