Author's Note: So…what in the world have I been up to in the past several months. Graduate school…lots of distractions (you might have noticed that my Favorites page still grows; I like good fanfiction, what can I say), video games since Christmas (Metal Gear Solid 4, Bioshock, Bioshock 2, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Metal Gear Solid for the PS1, Dead Space) and a sudden interest in voice work of sorts.

But, maybe this will provide an avenue back into writing.

See, there's this Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfic titled Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman.

www . fanfiction . net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

TVTropes has a much better summarization, so read it.

tvtropes . org / pmwiki / pmwiki . php /FanFic/NobodyDies

Now, what does this have to do with me? Well, enter SpaceBattles, which has a Creative Writing forum where the author provides teasers and discussion regarding future chapters.

forums . spacebattles . com /showthread . php ? t=159237

It's got quite a following by other noted NGE fanfic authors (Earth Scorpion, LavanyaSix, and so on). A lot of omakes from the author and the other forumers have been included.

I'm one of them. In particular, given the amount of shout outs by this fan fic (being 36 chapters, and over 200,000 words, there's a lot), there's some wiggle room for omake material. Plus, this story was published on December 13, 2009 (oh, how I long for the days where I updated as regularly), so it's quite active.

In any case, this fic is quite popular. It's a very enjoyable (and well-written, for the most part) look at Evangelion if two of the most important people in the canon backstory (Dr. Yui Ikari and Dr. Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu, the respective mothers of Shinji and Asuka) hadn't ended up dying. Some character changes are to be expected (Shinji is more well-adjusted, but not unrecognizable, Gendo is less of a complete monster and more of a crazy awesome manipulative magnificent bastard, to quote TVTropes), while others…aren't (Rei is a terrifying abomination whose sweet, happy-go-lucky, and has ahead perpetually in the clouds, and Asuka…is a Shrinking Violet Woobie. It makes sense in context, given Kyoko). Still, it's worth the read.

If you like it, read the Tropes page. Then visit us on the forum. This fic is so popular, people are going to be cosplaying as ND!Gendo, ND!Yui, and the American President in this story, Stephen Colbert (yes, THAT Stephen Colbert. It's makes much more sense than you'd think. Plus, it's completely AWESOME) at Mechacon…and, since Gregg likes fanfics of his fanfics, here's my omakes.

At the moment, they're of the Metal Gear variety. READ NOBODY DIES FIRST. You might be a little lost otherwise.

(And to my regular readers, the quality may be a little low compared to my other stories, but these are omakes, not full-fledged story chapters.)

Now…begin!

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Neon Genesis Evangelion: Nobody Dies

Omake Files

By Ultra Sonic 007

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Metal Gear EVA #1: "Snake Meets Rei."

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*RING RING*

"What's up Snake?"

"Otacon, you sure your info's accurate about this place?"

"I'm certain! NERV-1's defenses are top-notch; security cameras, guards, automated weaponry operated by one of the most powerful supercomputers in the world...and, of course, the Evangelions. And there's no telling what the capabilities of the Metal Gear variant are."

"...hrm."

"What's wrong?"

"...nothing...just feel like I'm being watched-"

"Heee~eey."

"AAAAAAAAARGGH!!!"

"Oooh, he comes with music!"(1)

"Snake? What happened?! SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!"

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Metal Gear EVA #2: "The Mother of All Humanity is a Dirty Old Lady. And Snake is a Memetic Sex God. Do the math."

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"Lot of places to crawl..."

*BEEP BEEP*

"Snake, you're close by."

"The source of their Evangelions?"

"As far as we know. From what little you've managed to send my way so far, I know it's called 'Lilith'."

"A code name?"

"Maybe. Given NERV's apparent love for mythology, there might be more to it."

"Hmm...I'm getting a bad feeling..."

"Like what?"

"Something similar to what happened earlier..."

"You managed to escape those blue-haired girls, didn't you?"

"That never happened Otacon."

"But-"

"Rrrm."

"...I'll be quiet now."

The one thing he didn't want to recall. Getting out of that place...that 'Ree-cave'...

"Okay, you're there. Terminal Dogma. Exit at the nearest vent."

"...okay. I'm in."

"What do you see?"

"...a giant nailed to a cross...it's-"

"WHY HELLO THERE! HAVE YOU COME TO PLAY WITH MAMA?"

*SKKKKKKKKKKKRT*

"Snake! I've lost your signal...answer me! Snake? SNAAAAAAKE!"

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Metal Gear EVA #3: "Snake Meets the Reego, complete with a Squicky Flashback."

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*BEEP BEEP*

"SNAKE! Are you okay? What happened?!"

"…"

"Snake? Did you see Lilith?"

"Otacon."

"Yeah?"

"Do you like beets?"(2)

"...uh...not particularly, I guess..."

"Good. Because we're never seeing one ever again."

"Well-"

"Ever."

"...what happened...?"

Change of subject. "...I managed to get the data on Lilith, plus the tissue samples."

"You did?"

A brief flashback.

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"BABIES. BABIESBABIES. BABIESBABIESBABIES."

xx

Snake impulsively twitched.

"Don't ask how."

"As long as you got them, I don't care how. In any case, now we need data regarding the Metal Gear variant of the EVA Series. NERV-1's a big place; according to what you sent earlier, the Metal Gear research is going on in the opposite end of Terminal Dogma."

"How pleasant."

"I'll keep you up-to-date."

"...Otacon."

"Yeah Snake?"

"...that...'Lilith'...she said something about her grandchildren running around."

"...huh?"

"Any idea what they would look like?"

"Erm...well, the only thing remotely close to that in the files I hacked were about four AIs; they were based off of the mental patterns of Pilot Rei Ayanami and the AI of Evangelion Unit-05."

"Heeeeeeee~eeey, it's that new guy Mama and Big Gramma told us about!"

"Think he'll have fun with us too?"

"He looks tougher than Mr. Aoba!"

"Mr. Snaaaaa~aaake, we seee~eeee you."

"....urgh..."

*SKKKKKKKKRT*

"Oh no, not again! SNAAAAAAAKE!"

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Metal Gear EVA #4: "Shinji Ikari. Solid Snake. Kindred Spirits."

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Shinji Ikari could only blink as he stepped out of the Maglev. Did...that guy just come out of the vent?

As if his day hadn't had enough crap.

Snake grimaced as he got the cricks out. He was never going into NERV again. As if that hadn't been bad enough, recent intelligence obtained by Otacon indicated that his next stop was Nippon Heavy Industries.

At least he wouldn't have to deal with the Ree. Hopefully.

Then he saw the kid. One of the Pilots.

His eyes...

"Had a rough day, huh kid?"

Shinji's eyes slightly widened. He hadn't expected that question at all.

Snake grimaced as he stood up, slowly walking towards the Maglev, stopping right beside the boy. Neither of them gave thought to the fact that the station was empty. The kid looked kind of small, unassuming from the angle he stood at; wouldn't think of him as the Pilot of Evangelion Unit-01. "Happens to everyone...take it people don't think you're capable of one though."

Shinji bitterly smirked. Talking to a random stranger who came out of the station vent. Eh, he'd experienced weirder. "Like you wouldn't believe."

"We tend to have a hard time living up to our own legend."

As far as strangers went, this one seemed to have a good idea of what he was feeling. Fine, I'll bite. "And you?"

"Just someone hired for some wet work. People make it out to be something more, something grander."

Almost word-for-word, his early thoughts on the Evangelion. Sure, things had become easier in some ways (Ichi, for one)...but the desire for normalcy never died. "...how do you cope with it?" He needed an answer, even if it wouldn't work for him. Something. Anything to take his mind off of the events of the day.(3)

Snake wryly grumbled as he pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a good drag. "Everyone has to deal with that question..." How long had he been dealing with it? "Find something you believe in. Find it yourself...and when you do, pass it on to the future."

A slight sag of the shoulders. "...how will I know if it's something to believe in?"

"That's your problem kid."

Shinji fought the urge to snark. That wouldn't do him any good. "Well, what do you fight for then?"

Silence.

Snake chuckled as he patted Shinji on the shoulder. "If we live through all this...and if we meet again...I'll tell you." The man quietly put away his cigarette before muttering, "Now...I've got a job to do."

Shinji could only stare as the man walked onto the empty Maglev and departed. What an oddity...and yet, somehow a kindred spirit.

He had a job to do as well.

The Third Child sighed as he looked resolutely towards Tokyo-3. I mustn't run away.

(I can totally see Shinji and Solid Snake being homies; hangin' out, complaining about the crap they go through.)

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Metal Gear EVA #5: "Lilith has a Baby. Rei gets a BROOOTHEEEEEER!"

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"Oooo~oooh, it's coming out!"

"Big Gramma's having a baby!"

"Mama's gonna have a sister!"

"It might be a boy!"

The army of avatars controlled by the Reego crowded around the crucified form of Lilith, who was sprouting a noticeable bulge near the bottom of her torso. Even Rei was here for the occasion (after all, that Snake guy had been a lot of fun for ALL of them).

Plop.

"SAY HI TO MY NEW BABY!"

Rei and the Reego stared at the adolsescent that stood on pale, shaky legs. Looking up with red eyes and a head of long blonde hair, the young man (whose face bore a clear resemblance in structure and form to Snake's) looked around.

"Heee~eey."

The young man turned towards Rei.

Somehow, Rei felt the only appropriate welcome was this:

"BROOOTHEEEEEEEEEER!!!"(4) Fist clenched, other hand pointing dramatically at the new Nephilim. Then a quick reversion to happy terrifying Rei. "Hi there!"

The young man blinked. A lone question came to mind. "...where's daddy?"

"DADDY SNAKE WENT BYEBYE, BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE HE GAVE ME A BABY!"

The young Nephilim scowled. His own father had missed his birth? He would pay! DEARLY!

So with a vengeful roar to the heavens, the son of Snake and Lilith howled.

"SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!"

xx

"-so regarding the specs of the T-RIDEN-T program, they're similar-"

"Urrr."

"You okay?"

"...nothing Otacon. Just another one of those weird feelings."

Like he hadn't gotten enough of those today.

(Liquid Snake, except instead of an inferiority complex towards Solid, now has daddy issues! For fun and profit.)

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To be continued…most likely.

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Author's Notes: So yah. Maybe if I get into the habit, I'll get back into updating all of my other stories. Who knows.

(1) Specifically, the Game Over music. www . youtube . com /watch?v=seE8uxEzLL0

(2) A Nobody Dies in-joke regarding Rei's use of a turnip with Kensuke (for 'what' is left unsaid…though Kensuke swears it was amazing). Since Rei uses a turnip, and Rei is based off of Lilith genetically…well, Lilith might as well use beets.

(3) To be specific, Chapter 36 of Nobody Dies. With good reason.

(4) Watch cutscenes of Liquid through the MGS series (be in MGS1, or when he 'possesses' Ocelet in MGS2 and MGS4). Whenever he shouts 'brother', he's gotta be dramatic about it.

And there we go.

See you later, and please review!