After seeing Remember Me, I happened to hear the song "Nothing Compares 2 U" (the cover version by Manboy), and this little story came to me. The ending of that movie was the saddest thing I'd seen in a long time, and that, combined with the inspiration from the song, as well as the beautiful score from the movie, got me to write this one shot in the middle of the night. I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please review!
And as we all know, the characters aren't mine.
Lately, I've taken to wandering the streets at night. My dad's not too happy about it, of course, but he knows better than to mention it. I think the look on my face scares him. I guess he's happy I leave the house, though, even if it's at night, because shutting myself in my room would be much worse. So I walk, imagining you're walking with me.
I took a sip of my coffee and looked out the window. I thought back on my first time at the diner since… that day. I still had trouble saying it, and even thinking it. I'd gone to every 9.11 memorial service I could find, but they hadn't given me any peace. I'd visited some of the places where we'd been together, and I'd even taken Caroline to the Alice in Wonderland sculpture in Central Park, searching for his presence, but nothing. I wandered around the streets of New York, having silent, one sided conversations with him in my head. Then one day, I remembered the diner he used to go to and write to Michael. If I could feel his presence anywhere, that would be the place for it.
Tyler had shown me the diner once. We didn't go inside – I had sensed this was something he wanted to keep between himself and his brother – but we'd looked in through the window, and he'd shown me where he used to sit and write to Michael. The memory, as so many others, no matter how simple, brought tears to my eyes.
The next day I had gone to buy a notebook, and had brought it with me to the diner. I'd taken a deep breath before entering – after all, this was my last chance. If this place didn't bring me any closer to him, nowhere would. I had stepped inside, and slowly headed for his table. As soon as I had sat down, a waitress came by, and I'd ordered a coffee. I closed my eyes. Yes, I had been right to come here. There were no sad memories connected to this place, since me and Taylor had never really come here together, but knowing that he'd used to come here often and sit in this exact same spot filled me with a sense of peace. I didn't think his soul was here, but this was as close as I would get.
I had just got out my new notebook when the waitress returned with my coffee. She'd looked at my notebook, and said; "You know, a young man used to come here to write, too."
I looked up at her, feeling the tears beginning to form in my eyes. "Yes," I whispered.
"You know him?"
I could only nod, afraid my voice would betray me.
"I used to see him here all the time, scribbling away in a notebook just like yours. I haven't seen him for a while now, though. I've been wondering what he was up to, since he stopped coming here. Do you know?"
I hadn't been able to stop the tears any longer, and had felt them run down my face.
"He… passed away…" I whispered. "The towers…"
The waitress had looked shocked. She started to tell me how sorry she was, and how many good people had been lost on that terrible day, but I was too focused on my own grief to pay much attention her. Finally, she'd brought me a tissue. I had thanked her for her kind words, and when she left, I could tell she had tears in her eyes as well.
It took me a moment to compose myself. Then, I had opened my notebook, and with a shaking hand, I wrote Tyler, on top of the first page. It took me a moment to decide what I wanted to say, but when I finally got started, there was no stopping me.
I've been looking for you everywhere. I've visited the places where we went together, and everywhere I could think of that could connect me to you. I'm glad I finally remembered this place. Even though you're gone, I feel close to you here, somehow. I think I understand why you came here to talk to your brother.
I went on to tell him everything I was feeling, and everything that had happened since that awful day. I had finished my first letter with the words I miss you more than I can say, more than I thought possible. I don't know how to go on without you, but I know I have to try, because that's what you'd want. I will love you forever, and remember you always. Ally.
I was awakened from my reverie by a waitress coming to give me a refill. She smiled at me. It was the same woman who had asked me about Tyler the first time I'd come here, and she always brought me extra refills and let me sit there as long as I liked. I smiled back, and continued with my letter.
I think he's really worried about me. Apparently, he thinks I should go on with my life, hang out with my friends, maybe go out with a guy. I've gone back to class just to please him, and I'm able to spend time with other people again, but I prefer being alone. Going out with another guy is unthinkable. Sure, I could find someone, but it wouldn't make me forget about my pain, even for a second, because every guy I'd meet would just remind me of you.
Occasionally I go and see Aidan. It's so easy being with him. He knows how I feel, because he feels something similar, and he knows what I need, because that's what he needs, too. Mostly we only sit together, not saying anything. Just being in each other's company helps to ease the pain a little bit, because we share it. Other times we talk, but never about you. It's too early for that, for both of us. Some day, when the pain isn't as fresh, we will talk about you, and remember all the good times we shared, but not yet. It still hurts too much.
I took your sister to see an art show last night. She told me she's been spending a lot of time with your father. I'm glad they've become closer, as I know you would be. Caroline reminds me so much of you – she's kind, and sweet, and funny. She's taken all this so remarkably well, as only a child could. Of course she's still hurting as much as the rest of us, and I have seen her dry the tears from her eyes when she thinks no one's looking, but she's so very strong, you would be proud of her. She's made several drawings of you, and I think your mother was quite worried about her for a while, but you look really happy in all her pictures, so I think it's just her way of coping. She's imagining you in a better place.
I glanced at my watch, and decided that it was time to go home. I paid for my coffee and headed towards the subway station. Ever since I lost my mother, I'd never taken the subway, until now. After I lost Tyler, I realized that you never knew how much – or how little – time you had left, and you should enjoy every moment and not let the ghosts of your past haunt you. I clutched the notebook in my purse, closed my eyes, and imagined Tyler before me. I love you, I thought, and as I stepped on the train, I could almost hear his reply.