Physician and Physicist by AndromedaMarine

To: Dr. Jennifer Keller, Chief Medical Officer (CMO)
From: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, Department Head of Science and Research (DHSR)
Subject: (no subject)
Timestamp: 5 April 2010 1422 ZULU

Dr. J. Keller,

I would like to lodge a complaint concerning one of your department's nurses. I can't remember his name, but he was very rude and used an entirely too-large needle for some unnecessary blood test that will not have any anomalies in it. I haven't been off-world in a week due to SGA-1 being on mandatory stand down after Colonel Sheppard twisted something while doing something else with the village leader's daughter that was quite inappropriate for a standard "meet and greet." So, therefore, I'm blaming him.

I hope you put a note in that nurse's employment record or at the very least reprimand him for uncalled-for harm of a Department Head. Further, I don't even think a blood test was required, since all I was in there for was to re-fill my painkiller supply. And get another epinephrine pen. I used the other one after Colonel Sheppard forgot to tell me that the chicken we had for dinner last Wednesday was actually lemon chicken. So you can see why I'm angry.

Regards,

Dr. M. R. McKay

----

To: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, DHSR
From: Dr. Jennifer Keller, CMO
Subject: RE: (no subject)
Timestamp: 5 April 2010 1507 ZULU

Rodney,

You can blame me for your discomfort. I told that nurse (Jamie Anderson) to draw blood since I saw an anomaly in your post-mission blood work from last week. Yes, from the trip when John twisted both his elbow and his knee while attempting a maneuver a person could only accomplish with the flexibility of a preadolescent child. I'll make sure next time Anderson uses the butterfly needles if the regular size elicited significant pain.

If you're concerned about that anomaly I saw, please drop by the infirmary later tonight, near the end of my shift. I'll have your file out for review since I have to send an update to Mr. Woolsey anyways. Before I forget, why didn't I hear about you using your epi-pen on Wednesday? You would've had to come to the infirmary for that.

And Rodney, this is a private email conversation. Drop the titles.

See you soon,

Jennifer

----

To: Dr. Jennifer Keller, CMO
From: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, DHSR
Subject: RE: Re: (no subject)
Timestamp: 5 April 2010 1526 ZULU

Jennifer,

Well, I'm certainly not going to blame you for something Anderson did. I distinctly remember him holding the needle, not you. Besides, you're too perfect to be blamed for anything anyway. But butterfly needles would be a pleasant change.

The reason you probably haven't heard about the lemon chicken incident is because Carson was on call that evening and I told him not to wake you or mention I'd had an allergic reaction. As I recall, you had just finished pulling 25 hours of nonstop work attempting to manage that influx of Athosian flu-sufferers from the mainland (and there were a lot of them), as well as patch up Captain Kirk. He must not have been entirely over the pain meds you gave him since he clearly forgot to mention the fact that it was lemon chicken. But I digress. You needed some sleep and it would've been counterproductive for Carson to have called you in.

Will you still be in your office if I stop by around 1900? I have to fix a console in Janus's lab that got disabled by a nasty power surge when an incompetent prat removed the power source and then jammed it right back in without going through the proper safety and buffering calibrations. It shouldn't take more than three hours, but with our luck and how badly it was damaged, I might be longer.

Regards,

Rodney

----

To: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, DHSR
From: Dr. Jennifer Keller, CMO
Subject: RE: Re: re: (no subject)
Timestamp: 5 April 2010 1610 ZULU

Rodney,

First off, I'm not perfect, and don't argue with me about it. That's final.

That was nice of you to want to let me catch up on sleep, but you really should have told me about it. I know how hard you make Carson's work in giving you decent medical care, and I've also noticed that you don't make it so hard when it's me. So really you just caused yourself more suffering, and that makes me sad.

My shift ends at 1730 and after that I suppose I'll just be getting dinner and then go back to my quarters. I don't mind if you want to stop by there instead; it's not a far walk from your own. Take all the time you need with that console; Janus's lab is much more important than that anomaly in your blood work. The "incompetent prat" wouldn't happen to be Dr. Avery Fox, would it? I treated Dr. Fox for extensive hand burns this morning.

See you soon,

Jennifer

----

To: Dr. Jennifer Keller, CMO
From: Dr. M. Rodney McKay, DHSR
Subject: There Are Too Many "RE's" In This Subject Line
Timestamp: 5 April 2010 1635 ZULU

Jennifer,

I would hardly call Avery Fox a doctor. I'm surprised he got his PhD when he's clearly an incompetent prat. Yes, it was him who nearly fried all the circuits on that console. Speaking of which, I'll be leaving my workstation after I send this email, so you can send your reply to my private account – I'll have a data tablet with me.

I promise I'll next tell you when Sheppard tries to kill me with lemon chicken. What are you talking about, me making Carson's work difficult? He brings it on himself, you know. Always poking fun and needles. Don't be sad, Jennifer. You're my primary physician anyways; I just wanted you to get some rest. If it makes you feel any better I'll try to be less abrasive when Carson has to treat my wounds and illnesses.

If you really don't mind, then I suppose I could stop by your quarters after I finish fixing what Dr. Fox screwed up. Serves him right to get burned.

Regards,

Rodney

----

A/N: It was so tempting to insert little paragraphs in between the emails to narrate both their POVs... but I'll be alternating chapters with email then story format, email, story format. R&R!