Disclaimer: Mash-up. I merged my favorite book as a kid with my favorite book as an adult. The basic story is from Elizabeth Cadell's "The Lark Shall Sing," (also known as "The Singing Heart") while the characters and setting are from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: MUCH FUNNIER TABLOID VERSION HYPERLINKED FROM MY FANFIC PROFILE PAGE!
Chapter Eighty-One: Hollywood Shocker: Is Pam Ravenscroft Straight?
By Sara Weiss and Tom Lattesta
Hollywood celebrity watchers are in for some interesting celebrity news these days. In an odd change of course, Hollywood Manager to perhaps the most eclectic collection of 'hots' and 'nots,' ever and well-known "ladies woman' Pam Ravenscroft is apparently dating a member of the opposite sex.
The English born beauty, 33, has been a fixture in Los Angeles since her days as a student at UCLA. It was there she met Hollywood heartthrob and long-time friend Eric Northman.
For months Ravenscroft and Northman have been on-location in Shreveport, Louisiana where Northman has been filming his HBO series, "Over My Dead Body." It seems that cupids arrow found the duo easily in the Pelican State. Not only have both Ravenscroft and Northman found significant others, but those others are siblings!
In a move reminiscent of Cher's 1980s relationship with Rob "Bagel Boy" Camiletti, Ravenscroft is dating Jason Stackhouse, a 26-year old municipal road crew worker from Bon Temps, LA. Stackhouse was recently released from active duty in Afghanistan. The blue-collar Stackhouse and the blue-blood Ravenscroft make a striking couple and have been known to get down to business in public locales, dispensing with a need for privacy. For instance, the two have been known to knock boots at the local dive restaurant, seen in photo below.
Perhaps the most shocking part of this revelation is the fact that Ravenscroft has not been linked to a man in nearly a decade and has even gone so far as to describe herself as an "Uber Lesbian." Here is a sampling of quotes the gorgeous blonde has made over the years.
-"I enjoy the company of women because I am a woman, and, well, I am delightful."
-"Men can be quite naïve. They actually believe me when I say I enjoy having sex with them."
-"I haven't had sex with a man since the Eisenhower administration."
-"Eric is my best friend because he is unlike other men. He is almost not a man at all. I enjoy the fact that he is such a big pussy."
-"Women are smarter, funnier, and prettier than men. Plus we share clothing and do each other's hair. What would I gain from dating a man? A refrigerator filled with beer?"
Long-time friend and associate Russell Edgington, when asked about the news story, had only this comment. "Pam Ravenscroft has bigger balls than 95% of the guys out there." When asked to clarify, Edgington responded "Spend some time with her. You'll figure it out."
Interestingly, it seems that Ravenscroft, despite her relationship with Stackhouse, still seems to continue to form close attachments to other women. She remains a tight relationship with Maxine Fortenberry, a retired urban planner from New York State who recently moved to Louisiana and lives with the Stackhouses as a boarder.
After a confrontation with a houseguest at the Stackhouse home, Ravenscroft was heard to say "Well, if I did not prefer the company of women before today, I certainly do now."
When reminded of her boytoy, Stackhouse, Ravenscroft started to sing another tune, quickly amending her statement. "And Jason. I enjoy women and Jason."
This is definitely an intriguing turn of events and it will be interesting to see what happens once filming in Shreveport wraps and Ravenscroft returns to Hollywood.
The Vampire Takes a Bride? OY! What a Family! Talk About Skeletons in the Closet!
By Sara Weiss and Tom Lattesta
Hollywood heartthrob Eric Northman seems to be off the market. Tinseltown's golden boy has squired dozens of beauties around the globe over the past decade. His longest relationship of note has been to long- time friend, Pam Ravenscroft but the duo has always denied any romantic involvement. Northman also dated producer Sophie Anne LeClerq for several months a few years ago, but again the couple insisted they were just friends.
Northman seems to have finally met his match in a modern-day Scarlett O'Hara. Northman has been secretly dating Southern belle, Sookie Stackhouse, 27, sister to Jason Stackhouse, for quite some time. The couple appears serious and is in the process of moving in together.
Stackhouse is a columnist for several Texas lifestyle magazines although her recent move back to Louisiana will require a career shift. Stackhouse is also the primary guardian and caretaker for three younger siblings ranging in age from 11 to 13. In addition to Sookie, brother Jason, and the three children, the Stackhouse sibs also include Tara Stackhouse, 25. Tara recently started working with F Mott Associates, a Hollywood film logistics firm. Rounding out the family household is 16-year old Godric Christiansen. Teen heartthrob Christiansen recently joined the cast of "Over My Dead Body" to portray the vampire "child" of Northman's character. In a moment of life imitating art, Northman has been made guardian of the boy, as the young Danish actor has no relatives in the United States.
Aside from their recent Hollywood connections, the Stackhouse siblings have their own connection to notoriety. Their step grandfather was well-to-do Louisiana businessman Niall Brigant. Brigant is suspected of faking his own death in a single-engine plane crash in 1975. Although rumors have abounded for years that Brigant, who was suspected of embezzlement, extortion, and other criminal activity, is still alive and living somewhere in the southern United States, no evidence has ever been found.
Brigant's daughter, and aunt to the Stackhouse siblings, Linda Brigant, is the girlfriend of suspected mobster, Felipe De Castro. De Castro—and Brigant—have been under Federal surveillance since earlier this year. This was following unsubstantiated allegations that De Castro conducted a "shake down" of several San Antonio businesses. The couple has a four- month old daughter, Hadley. It is assumed that if charges are brought against the couple, Sookie Stackhouse will likely be granted custody of the infant.
In a final very strange postscript to this story, the ex-fiance of Ms. Stackhouse, Bill Compton, a former economist, was recently cast as a recurring character on "Over My Dead Body." The decision was made by the show's producer and head writer, Russell Edgington who had this to say: "He's an extraordinary talent. I will forever be in debt to Pam Ravenscroft for steering him to us."
Northman, who has also fanned the flames of rumors that he would one day leave Hollywood and,
following in the footsteps of Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Ronald Reagan, pursue a career in politics. One thing is for sure: He'll need some serious public relations help with in-laws and friends like these.
AN: Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoyed it!