Ch. 1 Missing You

I hated this.

It was unbearable.

It was driving me insane.

"Jasper, honey, you need to stop before you make yourself sick," Esme told me as she passed by the computer room.

Sick? I would love to get sick. At least it would be something to do.

For the past two hours I had been sitting in an old swivel chair, spinning myself around and around and around and around and around… Esme entered the room and put her hand on my head, stopping me from making a billionth revolution. She ruffled my hair playfully and smiled down at me.

"There," she said, "that's not so bad."

I narrowed my eyes at her, but it didn't intimidate her, it amused her. I used to be feared, I used to strike terror in the hearts of all who saw me. And this is what I've become; the laughingstock of the family.

Karma.

"Jasper, honestly! It's not like this is the first time you've been separated from Alice. She'll be home in a few hours. You know this." She shook her head indulgently at me.

Esme had a point, too. I had spent time away from Alice before, this was nothing new. It wasn't that I was away from Alice today. It was that I was away from Alice, everyday.

I knew this was coming. I should have been more prepared. When Carlisle told me that he had enrolled me a grade ahead of Alice, it hadn't seemed like a big deal at the time. What are eight or nine months of school days compared to the eternity I'm staring down?

My God! Has it really only been a couple of weeks since the start of school?

I'm going insane.

"Jasper, maybe you should get a job. I know we already spread word that you were going to school with Em and Rose, but we could always say you dropped out."

I laughed. "But mom, what about my mental instabilities?"

The good town of Forks was currently under the impression that I was unable to be parted from Rosalie's side without running the risk of a psychotic episode. This was a rumor that was orchestrated by Carlisle to ensure that I could have a chaperone at all times during school.

Esme laughed too. "We can say you out grew them."

An image flashed across my mind of me wearing a smock and doing some mundane thing like bagging groceries. I cringed.

"Or you might reconsider enrolling in a school… Dartmouth is too far, but there are plenty of places local…"

Was she being serious? I studied Esme's face and saw nothing but her steadfast compassionate sincerity. She was serious.

Could I do that? Just get a job or go to school… by myself? It's been awhile since my last accident, but that's because I never go anywhere alone. It was a thought I didn't dare to entertain. I went where the others went or I didn't go at all.

How many times during my stay at Forks High had Rosalie been forced to remind me of my manners? And that debacle with James? I fought him for Bella… but I wasn't the white knight that day. I killed him so I could kill her.

But she had been bleeding. If I were to find a job or apply to a school, I wouldn't necessarily be exposed to bleeding humans. But there was no guarantee I wouldn't encounter a bleeding human either. They were so fragile. A bloody nose, a scraped knee, a stubbed toe. I suppose I could ask Alice to watch out for me but that wouldn't be foolproof. All it would take is one human to make a bad split second decision and Alice would never see it coming.

I couldn't do it. There was too much risk.

"Jasper," Esme said my name softly as a warm mixture of understanding and love radiated off of her. "You might surprise yourself… if you give yourself a chance." She ruffled my hair again and added, "Just think about it."

I nodded an affirmative.

Esme swept out of the room.

I pushed a foot down on the floor to start the swivel chair off again--

"Jasper stop! The sound is driving me insane!"

I threw back my head and laughed. "Sorry, Esme." I got up out of the chair. "I'll go... Take a hunting trip." At least it would keep my mind occupied.

"You know what?" Esme reappeared in the doorway. "I've got a better idea." She said, presenting me with a set of car keys.


"Jazzman!"

People stopped in their tracks and turned to stare as Emmett's voice boomed through the crowded airport terminal. As always, he looked to be oblivious to the amount of attention his exuberant nature attracted. Rosalie was clinging to his arm, shaking her head indulgently at his excitement.

I smiled widely as they neared; I hadn't realized how much I had missed my brother and sister.

"Emmett!" I called out.

Emmett's grin stretched ear to ear and I shivered under the strength of his emotion. I was on happiness overload. Not that I was going to complain. That's probably one of the greatest things about Emmett; when he's happy, he's really happy.

Rather than try to fight the inevitable, I opened my arms wide and stepped forward to accept the hug I knew was headed my way. Right on schedule, Emmett lunged forward and locked his arms around my torso and patted me on the back of the shoulder a couple of times before releasing me. Then Rosalie stepped forward into my arms and gave me a swift kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, brother," She murmured in my ear before she took a step back.

I smiled as I realized how happy I was to see her again.

I loved my adoptive family, each and every one of them, but it was Rose who held a special place in my heart. She had always been responsible for watching my back over the years; she had taken the responsibility on herself long before Carlisle's plan to make me out to be the crazy one. She had this intense instinct to protect her family and in the beginning, I wasn't family… If I screwed up, it would hurt them, and she couldn't have that.

But there was a shift in the relationship when she revealed her past to me.

Rose was hurt by someone she loved; it was a vain love, neither she nor I denied that fact, but love is love. She loved him, trusted him. And what he did… He betrayed her in the vilest of ways, damaged her ability to trust for years to come, and left her lying there like she was nothing. Rosalie Hale was many things and none of them were nothing.

His actions scarred her more than she'd ever care to admit, but that was something I could relate to. Scars were something I understood.

When she realized what I already had, when she realized that we had more in common than she originally considered… When she decide to call me family, her supervision of me was done to protect me. She didn't want me to do something she knew I would regret.

"Hey, sister," I replied.

I pulled away. "Welcome home."

"What happened to Esme, I thought she was picking us up?" Rosalie asked as we made our way through the building toward the parking lot.

"I think she wanted me out of her hair," I hedged. I knew she wanted me out of her hair.

"Why is that?" Emmett asked curiously.

"Alice is at school so…" I trailed off.

How could I possibly finish that sentence?

Alice is at school so I've lost my mind? Alice is at school so I've started behaving like a five year old with OCD and ADHD?

It didn't matter. They seemed to guess what I didn't want to articulate. Rosalie smiled sympathetically while Emmett gave a taunting grin.

"Awww… Jazzywazzy missing his wittle wifey?" He teased in a child's singsong voice. "Afwaid to be home all awone?"

"Hey, Em?" I interrupted his teasing.

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever tell Rose about that ding on the BMW?"

"Jasper!" Emmett shouted as Rosalie screeched, "What?"

I smirked.

I missed my siblings.


I'd like to give a shout out to my new beta, Kathleen Flagg and thank her for looking over my work.

And I'd like to remind you all, that updates and teasers for Storm Front and my other fanfictions, can be found on my blog, http://equivampsnotebook(dot)blogspot(dot)com

Or you can click the link on my profile page!

And I'd like to thank Jaspers Darlins for helping me nail down a timeline for Jasper. They can be found at thier blog, http://jaspersdarlins(dot)blogspot(dot)com/