Chapter 19

Another Chapter for you all to enjoy. Just a quick note to thank all my loyal reviewers. Without you I may had stopped writing this a while ago. But you my reviewers and you my readers are my source of motivation.


Severus glanced down at Harry who was cowering beneath his intent gaze. Draco had been fixed praise Merlin. Thankfully Severus knew the counter curse but it didn't explain what Harry had been doing. All remaining staff members had left leaving Severus to deal with Potter as he saw fit. It was his student harmed after all.

The bathroom was an odd setting for a reprimand however. The walls and stalls were charred were stray hexes had hit, and Severus could not move his foot without hearing the crunch of glass beneath. You could vaguely hear the water tricking down the pipes. Harry's heart was pounding; Severus could see the pulse jumping erratically in his throat.

Harry was scared.

"What happened?" He asked in his most sinister Potions master voice, the one usually reserved for scaring Longbottom. Watching as Harry swallowed nervously, his Adams apple bobbing in response.

"I followed Malfoy in here; I've suspected he's been up to something ever since I was attacked. I haven't seen him in ages so when I saw an opportunity like this, well I took it." The boy mumbled, grating on Severus's nerves.

"You could be expelled for this Potter." Severus told him coldly.

"Me? Malfoy used the unforgivable." Harry glared at him weakly. "I already feel awful the duel got out of hand and I hurt him as bad as I did." Harry sniffled pathetically.

"Luckily for you your skills are not up to scratch. For the spell to work you must be precise with your wand, to guide the spell in what to cut. Unfortunately it appears your casting was erratic which led to so many lacerations. You could have killed your class mate Potter."

"But I didn't." Harry challenged him.

"So why the tears?"

That shocked Harry into silence. Severus was impressed the boy had learnt his spell after only seeing it once, but he lacked any self discipline. Something Severus despised.

"Detention Potter to be served out every Saturday evening until your next school year. You will be spending them with me and you will be taught discipline, no more of this feeling sorry for yourself and avoiding my training, you will learn restraint, which hopefully will curb your rash decisions. Do I make my self clear?" Severus barked at him.

"Yes Sir." Harry told him sarcastically, and it did not go unnoticed by Severus how the boy dragged out the word Sir sarcastically. He had thought Harry better then this, and he expressed his dislike over a childlike attitude. He did not have time for this. Moving across the broken glass he left Harry where he was sitting sulking.

"Severus?" Harry called after him and something about his tone of voice made him stop dead in his tracks. Harry had not called him by his given name ever, it sounded erotic on the boy's tongue. "I need to ask you something." Harry stood his eyes pleading.

"I do not see the need to answer a student's whimsical question." He told him coldly.

"Whatever Malfoy is up to it seems you are involved. He mentioned that you were bound to help him."

Severus felt his heart fill with bitter coldness. He could not tell Harry what he was doing, that he would have to kill Dumbledore. Draco would never be able to complete the task set.

"Potter is has nothing to do with you." He dismissed the boy causally.

"Oh so we're back to Potter now? I told you I trusted you and now you stand there lying to me." Harry spat doing the wild gesture with his arms again.

"You are Potter when you act like a child."

"How am I acting like a child? If I hadn't used that curse Severus it would have been me in the infirmary not Malfoy. Yes I admit I was wrong but it was in self defence. I feel awful enough I don't need you to make me feel worse. You could be a bit more understanding!" Harry had the tears rolling down his face again.

Severus probably could be a bit more lenient but it seemed he had not broken out of his old habits. Of blaming Harry for everything and trying to make the evidence fit to match the crime. It was something he needed to break, Harry was indeed only defending himself, and he never attacked first. That was something he had learnt about the great Harry Potter. He very rarely sent the first spell.

Sighing Severus picked his way around the broken glass so he could be nearer Harry. "I do not doubt Malfoy struck first, but you cannot go using spells I have taught you. If he told the Dark Lord or any Death Eater what spell you had used it would be easily traceable to me. It's my signature spell, and it would be me they would come after. The Dark Lord is not stupid Harry he would put the two together. We cannot have a relationship if you do not understand the implications."

"So now I'm the stupid one?" Harry told him petulantly.

"That is not what I said." Severus could feel his temper fraying again.

"I had thought that a relationship with you was something I wanted. But you're already keeping secrets from me, how can I trust you?"

Angrily Severus stepped forward, the little whelp doubted his integrity? He lifted his hand to place it on Harry's shoulder but let it hover in mid air as Harry flinched away from him. The boy thought so little of him that he thought Severus would strike him? Severus clenched his fingers into a fist and let it fall to the side. This whole thing was a bad idea. Harry did not trust him and that was too large a problem for Severus to over come.

"It seems you can't. I'll see you tomorrow for detention."


Harry watched Severus walk away with despair. He had not honestly thought Severus would hit him but his emotions had been to close to the surface. What did he do now? Did he wait for the awkward meeting tomorrow? Or did he chase after Severus to sort the argument now?

He looked down at the puddle at his feet. A pale faced young boy stared back at him. Was that what he wanted people to see? A young boy or the mature man inside of him?

What would a mature person do? They would run after Severus and sort this mess out, to long had Harry ran away. Of course Severus couldn't tell him his involvement with Malfoy it was probably classified and Harry understood that. He was being a child Severus was right and it was time he grew up.

Severus always brought out the best in him.


Severus had just returned to his quarters when the alarm went off for the second time in one night. Now who was coming to bother him? Had Draco died? Was Dumbledore going to throw the boy in prison? He was within his right Draco had cast an unforgivable. Hesitating outside the door he eventually opened it revealing a very unhappy Harry Potter.

Before he could even open his mouth Harry had barged past him and shut the door behind him. "Potter just what are you?" Severus stopped mid sentence as Harry threw himself at him. His middle was circled by strong arms and his chest made a pillow for Harry's head.

"I'm sorry I doubted you. I do trust you it's just so hard. People always hide things from me I didn't want you to start. I know you have things to do in secret for the Order and for Voldemort I understand. But I hate always being left in the dark when it's my future at stake." Harry's hands tugged at his robes.

Severus stared at him masking his face to reveal nothing. He didn't have time for a young boy who wanted to play at having a relationship. But those green eyes always undid his resolve. They did when they belonged to Lily and they were more powerful more potent in Harry's face.

Inhaling sharply Severus let his head rest on top of Harry's. "I know." After a few moments Severus pulled back and lifted Harry's head with his hand. "I understand that we always seem to have things hidden from you, but I assure you they are for your own good. Professor Dumbledore and I would not keep things hidden from you that would harm you."

Severus hated the way he was changing, how soft he was becoming. But if it was only in front of Harry…well Severus thought he could deal with that. But only Harry could see this aspect of him. Only Harry did he trust enough not to be a cold bastard towards.

Harry was not convinced Dumbledore and himself had Harry's best interests at heart, though Severus could see it in his face. Well Dumbledore's methods had been a little extreme. The boy could have serious mental problems from the result of what the Headmaster had put him through. Of course Harry would never know that. It was a testament to how strong mentally he was. "You do not believe me?"

"I struggle to see how it helped sending me to face Voldemort when I was only eleven. Then a basilisk when I was twelve not forgetting…" Harry stopped at Severus's raised hand.

"Yes I can see why you think that, but think Harry how would you have felt if you suddenly found out now that you were meant to destroy the Dark Lord without any of those battles. Dumbledore in his own way was helping you mature and accept responsibility. If he had told you at eleven that you were one day destined to fight and kill the man responsible for the evil in our world, would you just have accepted that?"

"No I would probably gone crazy."

"Precisely." Severus gazed into the green eyes. "I may have done things in the past I regret but I will not strike you Harry. It hurts me to think you expect that of me." Severus may have done things he regretted in the past, but he would not strike a potential partner. That was beyond repulsive. Even by his standards.

Harry broke away from his hold and leant against a table. "I don't think you would. But I was upset and you came across as so angry. I'm sorry I said I didn't trust you, but tonight just made me feel…"

Suddenly Severus cottoned on. He understood why Harry was so upset. "Mr Malfoy was the first person you've ever injured is he not? Aside from petty hexes that students use this is the first time you've seriously injured a person."

Harry turned away, his hair falling forward to cover his face in shame.

"That is why the disarming curse is your signature move." Severus began in wonderment.

"Yes alright!" Harry shouted at him. "I'm so scared of my own damn Magic that I always try and disarm Voldemort. I'm terrified that in a duel I'll end up hurting someone by accident like Malfoy! I can't always control my Magic or how strong it is."

Severus knew the boy was afraid of his power, and that he was reluctant to kill Voldemort but that had just been the beginning. Harry was petrified he would become the next Dark Lord and Severus had always just ignored it like was just some trivial whim Harry had.

"That is why you try and stay apart from everyone." Severus concluded.

Harry looked at him eyes brimming with unshed tears, deep within a pale face. His hands were trembling and his body was shivering. The boy was suffering from shock and Severus had just left him in that bathroom. How had he not seen Harry was in shock? People could die from shock. He went to his desk and after routing around in his draws for a few moments pulled out some chocolate he had confiscated. He tossed it to the boy who attempted to catch it, but missed due to his numb fingers.

Harry was not like Severus who hurt people to make himself feel better. Severus knew he was a bully he wasn't in self denial. But here was a creature that didn't use pain, or mental anguish as a weapon to make him feel better about himself. No that was Severus and James Potter.

Harry wanted to defeat the Dark Lord to protect those he loved. Severus had thought it had been for the same reason he wanted Voldemort dead. Because he wanted revenge. Harry was not like that, he would give up his life to protect those around him.

Every time he thought he understood the boy something knew was revealed to him. It was intoxicating to Severus. Like trying to unlock the ingredients to a Potion only to find something knew was needed.

"Harry I can teach you resistant but you need to trust me when I say you are not Voldemort." Severus said his name he was not a coward. It caught Harry's attention. He had been approaching Harry all wrong trying to get the boy to unlock his power when he already had it flowing freely within his veins. Slowly he approached Harry, moving in a reassuring way rather then a predatory way which he was more used to.

The boy did not bolt just stood still looking at Severus with those wide green eyes of his.

"Harry I promise I will teach you how to harness your Magic safely, to become more focused and not a threat to anyone." Harry barely nodded but stepped forward, edging closer to Severus.

With slow tenderness they embraced Severus trying his utmost to reassure Harry when he hadn't had much experience from such things. "I know I've been a jerk and avoiding you Severus but I had other things on my mind. I wanted to become…"

"Stronger." Severus muttered into this hair trying not to breath in Harry's scent. It had been forever since that kiss and Severus was only a man after all.


"I understand. But Harry it occurs to me that we do not actually know each other that well. As a result of that we keep having these confrontations and it is not healthy." Severus told him exhausted.

"We do know each other Severus. You understand they way my mind works."

"But you do not understand mine and therein lay the problem." Severus pulled away.

Severus was scared of Harry learning all his dark secrets. He was terrified he wasn't good enough for the boy, how could someone tainted like him have chance in Hell of being with someone pure and righteous such as Harry Potter?

"You're not willing to pursue this?" Harry's voice rang out shocked. "But you haven't given me a chance to know you. To know Severus behind the mask of Professor Snape." Harry hung his head sadly. "I understand if that is what you wish and I'll respect it."

Severus pulled Harry close to him, holding him tightly. "Of course that's not what I wish you idiotic boy." Severus seized Harry into a kiss leaving him no escape from his ministrations, and Harry allowed it. He tasted of chocolate and all things forbidden and Severus desperately wanted more. But this was not the time or place. It wasn't as long as the previous one but it did not lack passion.

When they finished Severus held Harry to him, content with the weight of the boy in his arms. Severus may not deserve this prize he head, but he was not fool enough to look a gift horse in the mouth. Harry would fall in love with him; it was just a matter of time. "You best be going its late." Harry glanced at the door to Severus' quarters and exhaled deeply before nodding.

"Alright I'll see you tomorrow then." Harry grabbed one of his hands briefly, and then dropped it with a silly smile on his face.

When he had gone Severus himself looked at the hard wooden door to his quarters. One day possibly. But that was a long time in coming.