Gibbs walked into the bullpen to see Tony at his desk stuffing his face - again.
"DiNozzo, what did I tell you about eating at your desk?"
"That it gets crumbs in the computer," said Tony around a mouthful of breakfast burrito. Gibbs started to raise his hand. "And ... I shouldn't do it," Tony added before Gibbs could administer the headslap.
"So, why are you still chewing?"
Tony stuffed the last bite in his mouth. "I didn haw bwafas." He swallowed and continued, "You know that if I don't eat I get all slow and lazy."
"I don't think the lazy part has anything to do with a lack of calories." Gibbs shook his head in disgust as Tony brushed crumbs from his desk to the floor. "I guess it's good you ate. I've got a job for you. McGee just picked up our suspect's cell phone and it looks like he may be meeting his contact in Rock Creek Park any minute. You're the only one who can get there in time."
"On it Boss," said Tony as he grabbed his gear and with a whoosh and a barely visible blur he was gone, a small cyclone of papers flying off the desks in his wake.
Gibbs looked at the mess and sighed. "God dammit, DiNozzo, how many times do I have to tell you not to use your speed indoors," he muttered to himself as he bent over to start retrieving the files from the floor.
After a moment he got that tingling feeling on the back of his scalp that meant that someone was thinking about him. He paused for a moment with his eyes unfocused, then stood up and headed for Autopsy.
"So Ducky, what have you got for me," he asked as he swung through the doors to the morgue.
Dr. Mallard looked up from the corpse he was studying. "A teller of tales," he said. "I suspect our victim here would get along well with Tony, he seems to be a movie buff and keeps insisting that his killer was the man with one arm. He says he was beaten to death with the prothesis in question."
"What?" Gibbs could never quite wrap his brain around the idea that Ducky's talent was an ability to *hear* corpses.
"The Fugitive, Jethro. Surely even you have seen the TV show. Of course he's lying. They always do."
"Ducky, don't make me read your mind."
"No, I wouldn't want that. You have always been very courteous in respecting my privacy."
"Well I'm not feeling very polite right now," Gibbs growled, "Cause of death? The real one."
"Gunshot wound to the upper thigh. As you can see on the X-ray, it nicked the femoral artery. He would have bled out in less than ten minutes. Here is the bullet for Abby."
"He died from a wound to his leg?"
"It's a major artery but not something you would ever aim for. No, I believe our shooter probably did not intend to kill."
"That - or he's a really bad shot." Gibbs turned and headed for the door. He paused before leaving. "If they always lie, why do you make them talk?" he asked.
"Well, talking to a corpse that didn't answer would be rather strange, don't you think."
Gibbs left, shaking with silent laughter at the foibles of his old friend.
His next stop was Abby's lab. When he got there he found that McGee and Ziva were already in residence. He noticed that Abby was staring with great interest at Ziva.
"Abby! You're doing it again," he barked.
Ziva looked over at Abby and with a yelp, promptly disappeared. A moment later her voice sounded from behind the lab table. "Abby, I told you I hate it when you do that in public."
"You know, Ziva," said Abby as she turned in the direction of the voice,"If you want to hide you have to be quiet. Once I know where you are my x-ray vision lets me see you. Besides, why shouldn't I picture you naked after what I let you do last night."
"What did you let her do last night?" asked McGee in a nervous voice.
"Watch," said Abby.
"The whole time?" squeaked McGee.
"Yes," answered Ziva. "Did you know that your butt goes all pink when you..."
She stopped as Tim let out a yelp of his own and reached for the computer keyboard. As soon as he touched it he seemed to melt into a multicolored stream and flowed between the keys, disappearing from view.
"Enough!" roared Gibbs. "Have you all forgotten rule thirty-one?"
"Never use your powers for personal pleasure," answered Tony as he strolled into the room at normal human speed. "Did I miss something?" he asked as he heard Ziva's disembodied chuckle and took in McGee's head which had appeared in one of the computer moniters.
"Abby was using her vision to see Ziva naked, and Ziva told Tim that Abby let her watch last night when they were..." Gibbs shook his head. "What am I doing? I was trying to end the conversation, not repeat it." He glared around the room. "If I find any of you using your powers that way again there will be trouble." He turned to look at the perky goth whose green eyes were fixed on him. "That includes you Abby," he said as he held her gaze. "And I'd prefer it if you'd leave my underwear out of your field of view."
Abby giggled, "Aw Gibbs, you're no fun."
"So what did you find?" said Gibbs as he turned back to Tony.
"Nothing, he was meeting his girlfriend for a picnic. That was some real useful information you lifted McGenius," said Tony in a disgusted tone.
"We'll just have to keep watching him," said Gibbs. "McGee, can you ..." he stopped when he realized that McGee's head was no longer visible in the monitor. "Dammit McGee, would you get out of there."
Abby marched over to the keyboard. "Tim, you'd better not be changing my passwords again!" She bent over and started hitting the return key.
In a rush of liquid color McGee emerged from the computer, rubbing his head. "I wish you wouldn't do that Abby, the return key really hurts. And I know better than to mess with your passwords. The last time I did that you infected my laptop with a virus and I was sick for a week."
"WILL EVERYONE PLEASE FOCUS!" yelled Gibbs. The room went silent. "McGee, keep tracking the phones. Abby, I want this bullet examined. Ziva, make yourself visible and start getting background on our victim. Tony, you come with me." He marched towards the door with Tony right behind him.
When they got to the bullpen, Gibbs went straight to his desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a small Dunkin' Doughnuts bag which he handed to Tony.
"Wow, Boss. Boston Creme. I love these things," Tony said as he took a big bite of the doughnut. Then his forehead wrinkled in confusion. "I thought you didn't want me eating in the office, Boss?"
"This is a special occasion - Abby told me you decided to go commando today."
"Well, if it makes you this happy, I can let 'em hang everyday," said Tony with a smile. Then he flinched as Gibbs gave him a sharp headslap.
"I wanted you to have enough energy to get us both home quickly. I'm in the mood for a nooner," he said with a wolfish smile.
"What about rule thirty-one?"
"Doesn't apply to bosses," was Gibbs' succinct answer.
Tony grinned at him then grabbed his hand and in a flash they were gone.