Falling by DD Agent
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, settings etc of The Closer, I'm just playing with them!
She feels like she's falling.
But it's the good kind of falling, not the bad kind that makes your head hurt and your heart ache. The bad falling that makes you want to sit in your bathtub and cry. This is the good kind, the kind you only get in the first flushes of marriage, when you're making love every day and in different points in the night you wake up and just watch the love of your life lying next to you.
But its still falling, and with the good comes the bad. The struggles around the house with dishes and work that no amount of moving in together could prepare you both for. Charlie, the niece you have grown to love as family, causing smashed dishes on the kitchen floor and nights where there is an acre in between the both of you in bed. The need for a baby, the constant want and trying and the nursery plans you found. The need to finish a puzzle, the need to complete a case, the drive that makes you leave the house to solve a crime and leave it all behind.
In trying to stop the falling, you end up falling harder.
She never interferes with Fritz and AA, but tonight it was unavoidable. Older members, members who succeeded were going to be at his meeting, and Fritz was looking forward to it. She was picking him up, his car in the shop, and afterwards they were going on to a romantic meal to spend some time together.
But it was in picking him up that she saw Flynn. Andy Flynn, Judas turned disciple. He looked good as she drove up, smiling and happy and looking confident. He waved as he saw her, acknowledging his boss. Fritz was by his side, two happy campers. She smiled too, because Fritz was smiling and that made her happy.
Maybe there's something in her blood to have affairs, not settle. Maybe she's looking for excitement and understanding as being the good housewife with 2.4 kids is not her style. Running out on sports days and parents evenings to solve murders would anger Fritz and wouldn't be fair on a child. That's what she told herself the first time he brought it up, what she keeps telling herself every time he mentions it.
Her beeper had rung, and so did Flynn's. She could see in Fritz' eyes how much he wanted her to stay, to go onto their dinner so they could be a family again. But she had already started up the car. He said goodbye to her, then went to join some of his AA buddies to catch a basketball game.
Flynn accepted the lift she had offered, and they had gone to the crime scene and dealt with all that. The body, the scene, the suspects. When Gabriel had suggested she go home, she had walked back to her car. Her body was humming with the case. She so wanted to go back to the station and start putting the pieces together, but she couldn't. She needed to go home to Fritz.
Flynn came up behind her, wondering if he could have a lift back to the station. He wanted to continue on with the case, had a nasty feeling about this one. She agreed, she wanted to go with him and this was a perfect way to spend a little more time working on the case. They brushed hands as they reached for the handle, and she kissed him.
She thought he'd break it off, no in reality she thought he'd milk it and then break it off. She didn't expect him to start kissing her back with gusto, dragging his tongue across her lips to soak up every last taste of her, the thick merlot she'd had with dinner coating her mouth and now his. She didn't expect a lot of things and yet here they were.
The kiss was broken as quickly as it had started. They got into the car and drove to the station and didn't talk for the rest of the night. At her desk, with Fritz not answering and the pieces not fitting together quite right, she thought back. She knew why she had kissed him, knew why she wanted to do so again.
Fritz didn't understand. Will didn't understand. No one but Flynn did. How it felt to be falling, falling with the victim, with the evidence. Only to be caught when the killer was, when everything was set in stone. Because every case makes you fall, it makes you drive to be caught.
She knew when she looked at Flynn that he loved falling just as much as she did.