AJ Talon

DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing ain't mine! Warnings: Rx2x2, yuri, mild self-insertion, sensuality, inneudo, kind of limey.

THis fic is in response to a Challenge from Tori, my good friend

Musey: And secret crrruuuusshhhhh!

Talon: Shut up! I also have a crush on Lady Lye-(slaps hands over mouth) Oh crap.

Musey: (smirk) Ha ha! Gotcha!

Talon: Shut your mouth, you witless fool!

Musey: Whatcha gonna' do, Wheelchair boy?

Talon: (pulls out "Muse B Gone" TM cannon) THis!

Musey: (vaporized) AAAAIIIIEEE!!!

Talon: (commercial voice) Yes, it's Muse B Gone! The exciting new product from The Guild of Fan Writers! Simply point the cannon at the offending muse, pull that trigger and zap! They're gone for good!

Musey: (somehow reappears) Ha ha! I'm baaacccckkkk!

Talon: (face fault) Er, we're still testing it. (sweatdrop) We now return you to your regurally scheduled fan fiction.


In a quiet little neighborhood in suburban Brussels Belgium, there stood a modest two-story house. It was the residence of Duo Maxwell, the self-proclaimed God of Death. Ever since he'd taken a job with the Preventers, he'd moved into this little house and enjoyed every minute of living there. Especially since his girlfriend Duet and her girlfriend Relena had moved along with him.

He sat there, on a quiet Saturday night, watching TV. Well, at least, trying to. He was tolerating the interesting noises that kept coming from the kitchen behind him.

"Oh God, yes! Duet, oh God, don't stop! Don't stop!"

The sounds had had an....Interesting effect on Duo, though he been a bit sexed out over the course of the week. Two energetic women would have that effect on damn near anyone. Now, he simply wished to relax. Wincing mildly at Relena's estatic screams and moans, he flipped the channel to the news. Truth be told, he enjoyed the news. It helped to know exactly what was going on at any one time. At least, from the public perspective.

"In other news, the Preventer press conference where Preventers Ann Une and Heero Yuy took an unexpected turn. Heero Yuy had brought a blender onstage with him, saying he enjoyed home-made cappecinos. When he accidently slipped on a carelessly placed banana peel, he flipped in the air, sending his shoe into his blender and in the ensuing chaos splattered the whole of the press representatives with wet shoe bits. The mess was laughed off by the whole group, and the event went on without further incident." Various shots of Heero's shoe being blended into peices went across the screen, and Duo laughed aloud. Heero's face was beet red with embarrassment through the shots afterward, with Lady Une patting him on the back and giving him encouraging smiles, even while wet shoe bits ran down her face.

"Poor Heero, hee hee!" Duo flipped the channel to Toonami, and groaned. He'd missed Dragon Ball Z! Now on was something called "Batman Beyond". It did look interesting, so he continued watching. After five minutes, he was hooked.

"Duo-kun! Dinner!" Duet's breathless voice indicated she'd had fun as well. Duo shook his head in amusement, and set the DVDR to record the show. He stood up, stretched, and walked into the kitchen. At the table, Relena sat in Duet's lap, nuzzling her lover's neck. Both were in the nude, and Duo smirked. They were always going about the house naked, though he certainly had no problem with it. He sat down at the table, and pulled Duet into a kiss.

"My, aren't we being friendly!" Giggled Duet as she stroked Duo's chest. Relena continued her nuzzling, Duet closing her eyes in pleasure.

"So, what's on the menu for tonight?" Asked Duo. Duet smirked.

"Chicken breasts-" she paused as Relena giggled and Duo snickered,"smothered in tomato sauce and baked, with white corn and grilled carrots." Relena wrapped her arms around Duet, hugging her in a few very sensitive areas.

"That sounds like fun," she murmered into Duet's ear, making the other girl shiver. Duo pulled in closer, wrapping his arms around Duet as well.

"I can help," he whispered into her ear, as Duet sighed happily.

DING DONG! All three groaned. Duo reluctantly stood up, after one last snuggle, and walked to the door. He opened the ornate entrance, and looked out.

"Can I help you?" Trowa Barton, dressed in a buisness suit, stood on the porch.

"Hello," he said, reading off a card,"I represent the Circus Fundraising Organization. Would you be willing t-"

"Sorry Trowa, we don't take door to door solicitation. See you later!" Duo closed the door quickly, leaving a baffled Trowa to shrug, then continue on his way to the next house. Duo reentered the kitchen, took his seat back, and wrapped his arms around Duet again.

"Now, where were we?" Duet giggled as Relena traced lazy patterns on her chest.

"Duo-kun, you know I love you, but poor Relena-chan just hasn't been getting as much attention as she should! She gave me five, er, experiences while I only gave her two. Could you fix that?" Duo grinned evilly, and took the glowing Relena into his arms.

"I'll see what I can do," Duo whispered into Relena's ear, making her shudder in pleasure.


"Dammit," growled Duo as he stood up, gently letting Relena go. Duet eyed him.

"I could always go, you know..." Duo chuckled, and kissed her deeply.

"Alright, I'll go," he said. Duet stood up and stopped him.

"I was serious," she whispered, grinning ferally. And with that, she pranced to the front door. Duo's jaw hung down to his knees.

"Hello Duet, I-" started Quatre before Duet opened the door completely. Quatre stared, his face blushing red enough for a red giant. He shook, desperately trying to look anywhere but directly at Duet. Duet, meanwhile, smiled sweetly at the embarrassed boy billionare.

"I-I-I'm s-s-so sorry! I'll come back MUCH later!" Quatre bowed, closing his eyes, and then ran off as fast as he could. Duet chuckled, then closed the door and headed back to the kitchen. Relena and Duo were making out, though both stopped when Duet reentered.

"Started so soon, I see," purred Duet as she pounced on Relena. The blonde giggled as Duet covered her in kisses.

"NO! Get out, stupid!" Both girls looked up at Duo, glaring into space.

"No, this is my time with Duet and Relena! Go, please!" Duo continued glaring, then sighed,"I'm sorry. I'll play with you later, kay? Good. Bye" Duo sighed, then collapsed in his chair while both girls stared at him.

"What? My imaginary friend, Oatmeal, wanted to stay." Both girls looked at him like he had gone mad,"It was even worse when she started to hum "You Plus Me Equals We"!" Relena and Duet shook their heads sadly at eachother, then continued making out. Duo rubbed Duet's back, and suckled her neck.

DING DONG! Duo growled, then stalked off to the front door.

"Hey Duo!" Duo sighed at Andrew Talon. The former author sat in his wheelchair, smiling at him.

"What, Talon?" Talon held up an adorable baby Asian girl, who cooed and gurgled at Duo while smiling sweetly.

"Very cute. But, I can't babysit." Talon rolled his eyes.

"No! This is Tori. She fell into the Fountain of Youth, and I was wondering if you knew where Lady was at the moment. Her genius is the only way we can bring Tori back to her right age. Any ideas?" Duo thought hard, then smirked.

"I'll bet she's out storming Disneyland, Brussels, in Lady Gundam 9." Talon gave him a skeptical look as Tori babbled.

"You sure?" Duo rolled his eyes, and pointed at Disneyland, Brussels, in the distance. The outline of the Lady Gundam Nine was clearly visible, firing its weapons on the evil amusement park while plumes of smoke and fire crept into the skyline. Screams of terrified people were also faintly in the air.

"Dumb question. Still, Tori is very cute as a baby. I mean, she was cute before, but now-" Talon was cut off by a glare from Duo,"Nevermind. I'll go get Lady. Sorry for disturbing you Du-miester! See ya around!" And with that, Talon wheeled himself as fast as he could down the sidewalk, singing a lullaby to the baby Tori the whole way.

Duo rolled his eyes, then turned back into the house, closing the door. He was just into the kitchen and was about to pounce on Relena and Duet when...

DING DONG! Duo snarled, and ran to the front door. Throwing open the door, he saw Wufei, smoking some pocky with a strange grin on his face.

"Hey, Braided Baka. Wanna-" SLAM! Duo slammed the door, and raced back to the kitchen.

DING DONG! Duo sighed, then walked slowly to the door. He opened it.

"Hello, Duo-chan!" Hilde Schbeiker and Dorothy Catalonia stood there, dressed in Girl Scout uniforms and holding up boxes of cookies.

"We're selling avacado-flavored cookies, in order to fund a trip to Jupiter! Interested?"

"And, of course, it's in no way laced with a mind-control hormone intended for Hilde to get you back and send Duet to go commit suicide," said Dorothy in her conniving way. Hilde smacked her over the head with a box of cookies, and the two descended into a feirce cat-fight. Duo rolled his eyes, and walked back into his house, closing the door.

He finally entered the kitchen, where he intended to make sweet love to Relena and Duet in repayment for his absence, but the couple was nowhere in sight. Puzzled, he looked around.

"Duet? Relena? Where are you?" A fit of feminine laughter echoed from upstairs. Duo rushed upwards, tripping once but never stopping. He paused outside the shower, which was on. He walked in.

"Well, this is a surprise," said Duo, grinning in a way mirrored on the two girl's faces.


CLIFFHANGER! Well, I have finished the challenge sent forth by little Tori!

Tori: (deathglare) I'm not little anymore.

Talon: But you were such a cute, adorable little baby!

Tori: (look that could freeze Hell)

Talon: Riiigggghhhhttt. Alright, if you liked it, reveiw! Didn't like it, beat it! Don't care....(shrug) Oh well. See ya, muchachos! (to Tori) You still haven't told me what Jou-san means. Tell me, pretty please?!

Tori: (chuckle) We'll see....