Author's Note: This was a random idea, but also something I probably had been keeping deep in my mind. Not sure what the story is, just that it is about the aftereffects of Rosalie getting raped. No vamps. Read and review please! I had fun writing this!
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight characters or the ideas and etc. Stephanie Meyer created.
I stare at the teddy bear as it sits on it's shelf, alone and touched without it's consent.
In a way, I'm looking at my reflection.
Tears spring into my eyes as I begin to walk away and kids run over to the lonely teddy bear, touching it as if they can do whatever they wish.
It's not as if I hate them, but they don't take the time to really see if it's alright to touch without permission. They just grab and take, no thought put into it.
The only difference the bear and I is that I'm able to speak out against whoever touches me while the bear can only keep silent. But, sometimes speaking out doesn't work. You can scream and kick all you want, but you're still trapped in a grip and the enemy stares down at you with a cocky grin on his face.
I raise my hand to my mouth and dash toward the closest bathroom as I feel bile rise up my throat. As soon as my hands make contact with the toilet, I let my lunch be emptied into the white porcelain bowl.
After I was done vomiting and dry heaving, I flush the toilet and just sit there on the floor, letting the tears run down my cheeks.
This always happened when the memories of that night appear and I can't stop thinking about it. I wish they could all just went away.
It took me a few minutes to compose myself and walk out of the stall to go wash out my mouth with my toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash I now carried with me everywhere.
I had just spit out my mouthwash when two girls from school came in. They were both freshmen and awfully pretty. One of the girls, a blonde like me, was giggling about some guy she bumped into on her trip to the mall.
"You should have seen him. He was tall. Like, 6 foot maybe. He also had darkish hair and eyes. God Tia, you should have seen him. He even asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime." The girl was so happy she was jumping up and down.
"What's his name and what did you say?" The other girl, Tia, look as if she about to start jumping herself.
"His name was Royce King and of course I said yes!" The two girls were jumping and holding each others hands, screaming their heads off while I felt fear rise up inside me for the little freshman girl.
As I stared at her smiling face, all I could think about is how after she hangs out with Royce, her smile will be gone. She'll be as alone as myself.
I can't even look at her face as I run out of the bathroom, knocking down Tia who had been gushing about her boyfriend Benjamin and then let out a stream of curses at me.
Who am I? I'm not sure. All I know is that Royce makes me feel like a slut and also that I don't belong.
I don't belong.
I lean against the wall, sipping my coffee with a smile on my face.
The night before had been the best ever. Emmett took me on a picnic and we went on a walk down a trail which led to a meadow that was filled with fireflies. They glowed brighter than the moon and made me smile as wide as my face allowed me to.
"This is Edward and Bella's meadow. They let us come here so we can enjoy the fireflies and..." Emmett paused as he placed his hand against my cheek. "...to do this." He places his lips against mine and slowly I begun to move mine along with his.
This was my first kiss and it was more than I could ask for. Emmett was so gentle, I felt like crying. But I didn't and continued to kiss him.
The smile can't be wiped off my face now as I take the last sip of my coffee. Emmett was more than I could ever ask for. He is the best.
Before I can pull away from the wall, I am pulled into an alley and come face-to-face with Royce King.
"I promise this won't hurt a bit." My eyes widen as he pushes me to the ground and takes advantage of me.
He doesn't keep his promise.
I glare at the picture of Emmett and I. After what happened with Royce, I couldn't let myself be close with Emmett. I was afraid he would touch me like Royce did. Actually, I'm afraid anybody would touch me like that. It made me feel dirty. It made me want to die.
Why couldn't I be strong enough to fight these feelings so I can be with Emmett? It probably doesn't even matter anyways. It's been five months since and he's had time to get over me. He deserves better than me. I am damaged goods.
School. Here is where I have to see the faces of everybody that has either hurt me or I have hurt them.
Every time I see Emmett, I am overcome with sadness. When I broke up with him after the Royce incident, he told me he'd give me as much time as I needed. I'm still not over it after all this time.
Through it all, I have not seen Emmett with another girl, which makes my heart flutter but also break. It breaks for two reasons.
One, because he might be dating another girl secretly and the idea of secret dating excites me. Well, unless it destroys me. I know it sounds selfish, but I guess that's just how I am.
Two, because I'm breaking his heart by making him wait for me. He's so kind-hearted and doesn't deserve me. The selfish insecure slut named Rosalie Hale.
I'm so unsure when I look into our friends' faces. They are usually happy and sometimes sad. I sometimes wonder if they think badly of me for basically ditching them and dumping Emmett.
It was never my intention to hurt anybody when I was forced into this black hole by Royce. But, by looking at faces even when they show a smile, I know I did. I hurt them beyond repair. I even hurt my parents. I shied away from everybody.
I wonder if I should cry out for help so I can make my friends better. So I can have my life back.
I wonder if that is even possible. Is it?
At lunch, I sit by myself and pick at my food. This has been my routine for the last five months and I don't see it changing anytime soon.
I was just about to stab a few grapes with a fork when I hear five chairs being pulled out. I look up to see all my old friends sitting in the seats around the table.
Setting my fork down, I try to occupy my hands with something else as I avoid looking at their faces. "What do you guys want?"
"We miss you Rose." Alice's sweet voice twinkles and I feel the tears rise once more, but I push them back and look up.
"I miss you all too," I say, looking back down. "But, I still need time."
Bella reaches out and touches my hand, which I quickly retract. "It's been five months Rose."
"Bella, it's just not that simple. Please understand."
"We do Rosie." Emmett states, his voice sad. "We just wish we knew what was wrong."
"I can't tell you. You all aren't able to help." I'm shaking my head, trying to keep my tears at bay. Why couldn't they stop asking? They're hurting me. I can see their hurt. Why are they here? I want to scream, Stop it! Shut up! But, I don't.
"We can help you with anything." Jasper sounds caring and I'm almost tempted to tell, but I just shake my head.
"No, no." The tears are starting to spill.
"Please Rosie. Please." Emmett is putting his arms around me and I go stiff. I start to panic.
"Emmett...please. Don't touch me." I'm now shaking and I need him to stop touching me.
Before Emmett can retract his arms, I dash out of the cafeteria and to the bathroom, where the memory causes the vomiting to begin once more.
I had just finished washing my mouth and was heading out when Alice and Bella burst in with pleading eyes.
"Rosalie, please tell us even if it hurts. Please." Alice begs. I can almost imagine her getting down on her knees.
I sigh. What would happen if I were to tell? Would Royce come after me? Would Royce go to jail? I would enjoy the latter.
I look up at Bella and Alice, letting out a sigh of defeat. "Do you promise not to tell anybody?"
After the two nodded, I check each stall to make sure nobody else was around, then returned to Alice and Bella to tell them my tale.
As I told them, they stayed silent and listened to my every word. It sort of surprised me that Alice didn't interrupt, but also not surprised because I know she is one of my best friends.
When I was finished, Bella and Alice wrapped their arms around me and for once, I don't stiffen or start panicking. I hug them back, a small smile planted on my face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
"It's okay sweetie." Alice says, rubbing my back. "We understand that it must have been hard."
"Do you two think I should tell the boys?"
"I think you should just tell them when you're ready, but at least try to tell Emmett soon. He really misses you." Bella explains.
I nod. I understand what Bella means and decide that I'll think about her opinion.
I sit on the bench at the park, waiting for Emmett to arrive. I think I might be ready to tell him everything. He deserves to know it all. Plus, I miss being his dearly. I miss being in his arms and feeling his lips kiss mine softly. I miss it all.
Emmett arrives and sits beside me. "What's up Rose?"
I look at him from the corner of my eye and smile softly. "I'm okay, but I think I'm ready to talk." He nods for me to continue. "Well, it happened the night after we first kissed. I had just finished a cup of coffee when somebody pulled me into an alley. It was Royce King. He told me it wouldn't hurt a bit and then he raped me. Oh my god, I was so scared when it happened and I'm still scared now. I've also been panicking every time somebody touched me. It was just so hard to tell. And I've missed you so much." Wrapping my arms around Emmett's waist, I beg, "Will you please forgive me?"
He wraps his arms around me and presses his lips into my hair. "There is nothing to forgive. You just needed time and I'm fine with that. It's alright now."
With that, Emmett and I stayed like as long as possible.
In a way, I'm kind of like that teddy bear. But, there is a difference between us. Not just the fact I can speak out and he has to stay mute, but also because I'm now free from the loneliness.
I wish I could save the teddy bear, but that is nearly impossible. I am human and he is a teddy bear. Nobody can save him from the grabbing hands of many. I'm free. I can only wish the same for the teddy bear.
How was it? I love the teddy bear. It feels different, but feels right when I write about it. The comparison between the teddy bear and Rosalie belongs to me as far as I know. And thanks to TRDancer for at least trying to help me describe Royce. And to Zombie's Run This Town, though I'm not sure if she did anything besides distract me. Lol. Many thanks to her anyways. =D Please review!