A/N: So yesterday there was this lawnmower box sitting in my front yard, and I got curious as to whether or not my four year old brother could fit into it . So I made him climb into it, lol, and it turned out he really liked it in there, and he woud not come out. And so of course, while I was trying to convince him to come out, this lady and her daughter pass by, and look at me like I'm insane, so I had to go and tell them that "No, I am not talking to a box." And so that's where the idea for this came from. Lol.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea. I don't even own the box anymore. *pouts*
Dedications: To my little brother, who drives me crazy, as well as to one of my best friends, who just broke up with his girlfriend tonight. Sorry sweetie, even if I know you wont read this. Also, to Just Briana, whose siblings are not nearly as adorable as mine are :P
Warning: Nothing but a bunch of nonsense. Read anyways though.
"Sirius," Remus said, eyes wide as he came up behind his boyfriend. "Are you… well, are you bloody talking to a box?"
Sirius looked up to see his boyfriend standing just a few inches away from him, looking as if he needed to owl, or even floo, Mungo's right away.
"No I'm not bloody well talking to a box," Sirius muttered, leaning over to peer into the small crack between the labels of the box once more.
Remus blinked twice, trying to clear his head. "Then what the hell are you doing? Are you cheating on me with a piece of 3D card board?"
Sirius snickered. "As if this bloody box could blow me like you can. No Moons, I'd rather have you over a box any day."
Remus looked a bit weary now as he inched a bit closer to the Black haired young man, not quite sure if it was safe. "What are you doing Pads?"
"Nothing," Sirius muttered, poking at the box now. He lifted one of the flaps just a little bit, tilting his head so he could get a better look inside, and laughed at what ever he saw in there. "Ready to come out yet," he asked softly.
Now Remus was very confused, not quite sure, but he thought that... "Sirius… did that box just talk?"
Sirius looked up at the werewolf, amusement shinning in his grey eyes. "Come now Moony, you're smarter than that. You know damn well boxes can't talk."
Remus huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "They can if you do something to them. Remember the time back at Hogwarts when you charmed the chairs to shout every time someone sat on them, or when you charmed the doors to giggle whenever someone grabbed a hold of the handle, or the…"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Ok Remus, we get your point. I am, in fact, very skilled in charming non-living things to speak, or at the very least, to make some sort of noise. Lets move on now."
Remus blinked again, in surprise this time. "Did you… did you just say we?"
"Yes," Sirius said, though it sounded more like a question. He smirked, raising his eye brows as the tawny haired man took a deep, calming breath.
"What the fuck is going on Padfoot?" apparently that calming breath hadn't been very calming at all.
"Watch your language," Sirius shouted, smacking his lover's leg, which happened to be the closest part of the werewolf to him.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Why would I have to watch my language? You always use far worse. And anyways, I thought you liked it when I cursed. Didn't you once say something about how it was 'so bloody fucking hot when I talked dirty?' Or am I mistaking you for that evil twin of yours that lives up in our attic and comes out to ravish me once a month when you are far too busy talking to non-living objects to pay any attention to me, much less answer my question?"
Sirius chuckled, shaking the box slightly, and if Remus was not mistaken, and he was quite sure he was not, thank you, the box seemed to giggle along with the dark haired man. "Oh come now Remus, you know damn well that if I did have an evil twin, not only would you have run off screaming by now, but I would have killed him for even thinking of shagging what's mine."
Remus shook his head. "Who say I'm yours? I'm not a piece of property Padfoot."
Sirius grinned, running his hand up and down his lover's jean clad leg, and how nice those legs looked in those jeans too, all long and slender and… Sirius shook his head in order to clear it of such thoughts. "Of course you're not a piece of property Moons. It just so happens that you belong to me though, as I belong to you. Have since I was just a young lad, in fact, as you bloody well know. And so, as I so mentioned before, if anyone was to touch you, I would be rather entitled to kill them, whether it be male, female, or hippogriff. "
Remus shook his head in aggravation, realizing that he had let himself get rather off topic as he saw the box shift ever so slightly, without anyone even having touched it. "Are you sure you didn't charm that box to come alive," he asked, poking at it cautiously with the toe of one of his well worn trainers.
Sirius grinned. "I'm sure Moons. I did not use any type of magic on this box, I swear."
"Then why does it keep moving and giggling," Remus asked wearily.
Sirius' grin got wider. "Do you really wanna know?"
"Well, when you're looking like that, I immediately want to say no, but considering the fact that this could be potentially dangerous, or at least, maybe, illegal, yes, I want to know. What the hell is up with the box Sirius?"
Sirius laughed, that well known twinkle in his eye that meant one thing, and one thing only; that he was up to a good bit of mischief.
"Ok, are you ready to come out now?" Sirius asked the box, leaning over to peer inside.
No answer came.
"Come on now," He whispered quietly, shaking the piece of card board. "You've been in there for ages now, and Moony here is starting to think I'm going nutters."
Remus scoffed. "I already know you're nutters Pads. Is someone, or something, in the box? Why would you put something in a box Pads? What the hell?"
Sirius shrugged. "Just wanted to see if he'd actually fit."
"He?" Remus asked, weary again.
Sirius nodded, poking at the box once more. "Ok, tell you what, if you come out of the box now, I'll give you some of Moony's special chocolate."
"Hey!" Remus shouted, affronted now. "You can't just go around giving away my chocolate. Who the hell is in there anyways? It's not one of those tramps you use to call girlfriends, is it? I swear Pads, if I find out you've had someone in my home while I was out, and then go and try and hide them in an effin box, I will hex you right in the balls."
Sirius chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Bloody hell Remus, not only did I specifically say HE just a moment before you began your rant, but you know none of those tramps, as you so kindly put it, were ever my girlfriends. You're the only one I've ever dated, the only one I've ever kissed, the only one I've ever had sex with, fucked, made love to, whatever you want to call it. As if you'd let it be any different, with the way you cornered me after our second year, practically forcing me to be your boyfriend."
Remus blushed softly. "I didn't force you," he muttered, kicking at the ground.
Sirius smiled, taking his lovers hand. "I know. You did make me man up to my feelings for you though, and I'm damn well happy that you did. So no Remus, there is neither a man nor woman in this box that I have been unfaithful to you with. I'll let you know exactly who it is once the little buggar agrees to get the bloody hell out of the box, for Merlin's sake."
The box giggled at Sirius' exasperated tone.
"Ok, really now, if you get out of the box now, I will turn into Padfoot and let you play fetch with me, so long as you do not hit me with the bloody stick."
Remus chuckled at the image of his lover as a big black dog with a stick in his mouth that suddenly entered his mind, leaning over the box. "Who…"
Before he could say another word, the box burst open, flaps hitting the startled werewolf right in the face, and he jumped backwards, tripping over his own feet and laying sprawled out on the ground as a head of messy black hair emerged from the depths of the box.
"Fetch, fetch," a four year old Harry Potter shouted, grinning widely at his godfathers.
Remus took a deep, not quite calming breath, thumping his head on the ground. "I hate you both." He muttered, thought of murder and mayhem and shredded boxes suddenly filtering through his mind.
Sirius grinned, leaning over his lover to place a soft, sweet kiss upon his lips. "Nah you don't Moons. And it's not my fault Harry wouldn't come out of the box."
Harry glared at his godfather, crossing his small arms over his chest. "Is too," he muttered, sticking his tongue out.
"Is not," Sirius answered back.
Remus rubbed his head, trying futilely to ward off the headache that was quickly approaching as his godson jumped out of the box to attack his dark haired godfather in order to make the older man see things his way.
He looked at the box for a moment, a calculating gleam suddenly entering his eyes, before he picked it up with a grin, turning to the two dark haired males that were now wrestling on the floor.
"Remus," Sirius said, looking at his lover with wide eyes as he finally noticed the man, "what are you doing?"
Harry looked at his tawny haired godfather, the same startled expression on his chubby face. "Moo'y?"
Remus just grinned wider as he walked up to his lover and godson, ignoring their cries as he shoved the box onto their heads.
Maybe the box wouldn't need to be shredded after all.
A/N: Well, there you have it guys. Me and my crazy imagination, and slightly crazier events that take place in my life, have given you yet another insane story. Please review. If I get more then fifteen I'll start taking requests for just about anything you'd like me to write, but you have to review on the story as well as tell me what you want.
Now, about my other stories.
Bottom Remus will be up sometime in the next week. With the work I have now, it looks like it'll be up early next week, which is Spring Break for me.
The next chapter for Terribly Mistaken will be up by the end of the week, but I did not get enough reviews, so unless I do by Friday, this chapter will not be centered on Sirius and Remus. Just warning you all.
Just a Misunderstanding will be updated as soon as I get the reviews I asked for. Only about eight more, I think. It'll be up sooner if I get more than that.
Thanks, and please review.