Hi! This is going to be a six chapter story (I think ^-^) about Eliwood and Ninian. It starts after the fight with Nergal. Ninian decides that she wants to follow her brother Nils back to their world. As always, I'm sorry for grammar mistakes and I hope you all will enjoy this story! Thank you for reading!
If only I've said how much she meant to me.
If only I've given her a smile that told her everything.
If only I've said to her that I didn't want her to go. Leave. Me.
Then (maybe) this should've been manageable. The time after she left. Now, when I sit here in my room – turning pages in my notebook – preparing myself for the notification if I'm going to follow my father's step and become marquees of Pherae or not. Look around in my room – see the high trees and fluffy clouds outside my window. Oddly, it isn't raining. Raining like my emotions. Do I want to become marquees? I'm not sure. But I probably will. It doesn't matter. I want and don't want. At the same time.
There is only one thing that I want. Only one thing that I need.
And she knows what that is.
But knowing is so far from being makeable. Because this is like waiting for a train that will never come.
She is gone. Away. Gone like dust. There are few around me that even mention her anymore. She doesn't exist. For them. But she'll always remain with me.
I can't forget her. Forget her smile, her sparkling eyes and light-blue strings of hair that framed her cute, feminine face. Forget her voice, her smell, her moves, her words. Forget her laughter that tickled my ears. Forget her excitability that always made me smile at her. And when I smiled, she smiled back. Unintentionally.
Nobody has a smile like her.
She was so beautiful. Cared. Was so careful. Polite. I'd always feel a need of protecting her. Being there. No matter what hardship that we had to face. I wanted her to smile. Wanted her to be happy.
Of course I do understand why she left me. She wasn't one of us. She didn't belong to this world. She said that the first time we spoke. Properly. But I denied it. Denied the truth, denied that it existed. Didn't see it. Didn't want to see it. Only saw the beautiful blue-haired girl with dance-moved that removed my balance. Only saw the girl I loved, the girl that I wanted to share the rest of my life with.
But a fairy-tale does rarely end like you wish it would.
She moved back to her world. Her and Nils'. Of course I understand. He is her brother and she loves him. It's natural.
But it doesn't remove the pain of agony that is storming inside me.
Why? Why didn't I prevent her? Why didn't I tell her that I didn't want her to go? Leave us. Leave me. Just said that. Only that. Then it would've felt better. A little. But I didn't say it. Just stand there – silence – with tears burning in my eyes. Saw her and Nils go through the portal. Saw her eyes. But still – nothing. Didn't even say good-bye.
I regret that. All things that I didn't tell her do I regret.
But not the time together.
She gave me some moments in life that'll be imprinted in my memory forever. Moments that I will never forget. Moments that still today feel warm, like superfluous fervor. Like that time when she danced for me. Her 'special' dance. I really saw how nervous she was. But nevertheless, she did it. For me. Seriously, I wouldn't care if the dance was awful. It was the thought that made it beautiful – stunning. Made me warm and bubbly. After that day I asked her if she would care to join me for a dance at a party that Rebecca was talking about to hold after the battle with Nergal was finished. All right, I can state that I'm a worthless dancer. And she knew it. But she said 'yes', looked at me with those engulfing eyes, anyway. She didn't care about simple things as my issue of keeping track of my feet. She never did.
But in the end, we never danced.
There is so much that we didn't do.
Hector visited me yesterday. Asked me why I was so down. I explained. Why hide the truth from my best friend? But he didn't understand. No one does.
"Come on now. I know it's hard. But she's gone. No matter how long you linger, it isn't going to change. You must walk forward. For her sake. There are many out there that want you."
These words. I can't take these words.
"Easy for you to say", I said, twirling a string of red hair round my finger. "You have Florina. You've your love. I don't. My love is gone. And I can't put it on someone else. Not like that. I can't."
And it's true. I can't love anybody else. Not in the same way. Only her.
Every time I close my eyes I see her face before me.
Every time I look outside my window I imagine her dancing guise on the field.
Every time I sleep, I dream about her.
All I see is her.
A tear pours down my cheek, and drops down my paper. Creates a puddle.
I hit my table with my fist, more tears running. With no stops and no obstacles.
Why? Why isn't she her? With me?
End of chapter one! Chapter two will be up as soon as possible - (as soon as my fingers starts obeying my orders and write when I want them to xD)