Beyond the slacker

There seems to be a constant stream of people telling me what they want from me. I am happy to say I don't pay any attention to any of them. Dilbert is always paying attention to them. I had such hopes for him once, I wished he'd join me in my eternal fight against the forces that seek our attention.

I would say Alice doesn't get it. She is a chick, chicks never get it. I've said it to her face, a broken jaw along with my shattered collarbone was all I got. I could have persevered in the face of this but in the end there is a good chance she will take out the Pointy haired beast.

I will tell you something else, the Pointy haired one doesn't even remember any of our names or our projects. He comes over and drops a few words he overheard at some meeting. Yes, sometimes I do attend meetings.

The donuts, the coffee and I just like watching people who pay into this squirm about a performance review. I am not about to say I could have been promoted if I'd worked at it. Risen to the top on the backs of my slower co-workers…………..

A bit of extra money in the bank and a fancier title. In the end someone will look at that position and take it away. Companies need grunts, you have to be a special kind of cockroach to go far working in the departments.

Catbert, what did you ever want but slaves?

Pussy-whipped people hiding in their cubicles have no decency compared to him. He slacks off when he wants and when he works he is like a demon possessed.

Look at Dilbert, your eyes use them. He works all day and then he goes home and complains all night about it. His girlfriend disappeared from his life and he didn't even notice. His dog knows him and he keeps him on a tight leash. Wrapped around the paw of a canine……….how the mighty have fallen.

He brings good snacks though and sometimes he leaves them in the fridge or he forgets to pick something he cooked in the microwave. I owe him that much that I would clean up after him.

Alice calls me a thief, a parasite but she appreciates me in her own way. Asok does too but that boy needs to learn the value of hard-work. He spends too much time playing the young space cadet too understand that. Maybe another air duct spanking is in order?

If there is a god, he would have had me fired years ago. If there were aliens, they would have abducted me years ago. Instead hear I am, I can hear solitaire calling me. That and the flow of the floor. There is footsteps coming up my back….right behind me."Wally, I need a progress report on ………"

I forget about him and I look to the ceiling and I am so grateful that I am not him or you.